# Ask the idiot savant who retired to live in an Asian jungle. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 8, 2016, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095 "2016-11-08T19:21:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2016, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/21 "2016-11-08T22:47:17Z")
How many monkey butlers will there be? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2016, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/22 "2016-11-08T23:17:41Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > 1. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot, obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2016, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/23 "2016-11-09T17:01:30Z")
Well, it’s a parody thread now… ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2016, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/24 "2016-11-09T18:01:06Z")
Do you vote? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2016, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/25 "2016-11-09T22:54:59Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > 1. Is it true that there are orangutan hookers? Yes, but only one is a Trump relative, and she’s like his 2nd cousin once removed. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/26 "2016-11-09T23:42:30Z")
OP - I really was curious. Maybe try again in a week or two? It’s all in the ti-MING. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2016, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/27 "2016-11-09T23:58:27Z")
Self-deprecating humour suits you better than vain smugness. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/28 "2016-11-10T00:56:46Z")
> [@Pedro](#): > > Self-deprecating humour suits you better than vain smugness. Yet we are speaking of orangutan hookers. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/29 "2016-11-10T06:52:09Z")
Are you building a wall around your jungle? Are the orangutans paying for it? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/30 "2016-11-10T15:25:01Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > 1. Is it true that there are orangutan hookers? Please. As I have learned from this website, they prefer to be called “monkubines”. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/31 "2016-11-10T16:04:29Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Please. As I have learned from this website, they prefer to be called “monkubines”. Since they have no tails, the term should properly be “apeubines”. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/32 "2016-11-10T16:34:31Z")
I have no idea what is going on here. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/33 "2016-11-10T16:45:01Z")
> [@Greathouse](#): > > I have no idea what is going on here. I’m not from around here, either. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/34 "2016-11-10T17:00:26Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Since they have no tails, the term should properly be “apeubines”. Clearly, orangutan hookers are lousy at using correct nomenclature. Much better at giving four handjobs at once. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/35 "2016-11-10T17:04:54Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > …Much better at giving four handjobs at once. This is why monkeys make better prostitutes than apes, 25% higher productivity. ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/36 "2016-11-10T17:12:57Z")
Y’all might wanna look up the definition of “savant” … this thread might be the all time record for mass-whooshing … well done, **septimus** … maybe you’ll get promoted to **octomus** soon ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/37 "2016-11-10T17:19:33Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > Y’all might wanna look up the definition of “savant” … this thread might be the all time record for mass-whooshing … well done, **septimus** … maybe you’ll get promoted to **octomus** soon What do you think is being “mass-whooshed” when the thread consists almost entirely of silliness? ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/38 "2016-11-10T17:30:32Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > Y’all might wanna look up the definition of “savant” … this thread might be the all time record for mass-whooshing … well done, **septimus** … maybe you’ll get promoted to **octomus** soon Good job putting up some competition for the category of idiot savant. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/39 "2016-11-10T18:54:46Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Is this a parody thread? Not necessarily, though the thread was started when I was giddy-sick from election returns. I will answer questions if there’s interest, beginning with **Sunny Daze** ’s #11. Threads like _Ask the Plumber_ or _Ask the expert on Byzantine Poetry_ or _Ask the guy who sleeps with $1000-per-trick hookers._ have long been a feature at SDMB and I’ve wondered what thread I could start. _Ask the expert on technical arcana so specialized I can’t describe them with the title-length restriction_ or _Ask the guy diagnosed with anxiety neurosis_ didn’t seem like they’d get far. I tried _Ask the brother-in-law of a Tiger’s sister-in-law_ but that didn’t get far either. And _Ask the guy who xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_ would immediately reveal my secret identity. :eek: At this point in my life, my perspective on rural Thai culture may be among the little I have to offer! I think I have more practical knowledge about the society of rural Thailand than that of U.S.A., despite that I’ve spent more years in the latter. :smack: And often “idiot savant” seems like only a slight exaggeration to describe my cognition and life story. So … we can all wait (especially me) to see how this thread develops. But for now, I want to pass until the recent heart-break lessens … ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2016, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095/40 "2016-11-10T19:36:49Z")
OK - I’ll save up my list. I do want to know your secret identity though. Just because. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-idiot-savant-who-retired-to-live-in-an-asian-jungle/771095.md?page=3)