# Ask the Iraqi Information Minister **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524 "2003-04-18T11:24:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/41 "2003-04-18T19:57:16Z")
Would you care to share any of Saddam’s moustache grooming tips? Also, I see that Western images of you show you without a moustache. Is the Western media digitally altering these images in order to make you look less masculine? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/42 "2003-04-18T20:00:42Z")
> [@](#): > > I recommend that you wash your genitals vigorously with warm water and thick soapy lather. So will rubbing my genitals vigorously with warm water and soapy lather help turn my thoughts to Saddam? And if it does, does that mean I’m gay? I have to admit, there have been more dudes creeping into my fantasies lately. Not so much _doing_ anything, but they’re definitely there. Is that wierd? I don’t think I’d ever want to kiss a guy, but there _is_ something very intriguing about Saddam’s moustache. Have you ever kissed a guy? Your advice, Mr. Iraqi Information Officer, isn’t what I was expecting, but I have to admit, it _has_ really got me thinking… Thanks! And Happy Easter, Crap Nelson ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/43 "2003-04-18T20:01:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chappachula \* > \*\*Is it true that the no statue of Saddam has been torn down? > –because it was actually only a statue of one of his body doubles? \*\* This is the most true thing I ever tell you, and everything I tell you is true. You will know that a statue is a real statue of Saddam if you cannot tear it down. And in fact, if you could fly in a space ship, you would see that the whole country of Iraq is shaped like Saddam. I will like to see the Americans try to tear down the whole country of Iraq. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/44 "2003-04-18T20:05:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kal \* > \*\*Would you care to share any of Saddam’s moustache grooming tips? > > Also, I see that Western images of you show you without a moustache. Is the Western media digitally altering these images in order to make you look less masculine? \*\* Why do you look at Western images when you know that they are lies? The Americans and British are so corrupt from the pits of their bowels that even their cameras take crooked pictures. I am giving you all the information you need to make right decisions. I will take you myself to Saddam, and he will give you grooming tips. I will do this IN ONE HOUR. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/45 "2003-04-18T20:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > I will take you myself to Saddam, and he will give you grooming tips. I will do this IN ONE HOUR. Do I need to bring my own clippers? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/46 "2003-04-18T20:09:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Lendervedder \* > \*\*So will rubbing my genitals vigorously with warm water and soapy lather help turn my thoughts to Saddam? And if it does, does that mean I’m gay? I have to admit, there have been more dudes creeping into my fantasies lately. Not so much _doing_ anything, but they’re definitely there. Is that wierd? I don’t think I’d ever want to kiss a guy, but there _is_ something very intriguing about Saddam’s moustache. Have you ever kissed a guy? > > Your advice, Mr. Iraqi Information Officer, isn’t what I was expecting, but I have to admit, it _has_ really got me thinking… > > Thanks! And Happy Easter, > > Crap Nelson \*\* These are the questions of a dog, so what you should think about is other dogs. Now that you have washed your genitals, you should squeeze them sternly and slap them vigorously. Stuff them into your mouth so you cannot speak before you say even more crazy things. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/47 "2003-04-18T20:11:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kal \* > \*\*Do I need to bring my own clippers? \*\* Clippers are not necessary, but you must to be sure bring dollars. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/48 "2003-04-18T20:12:20Z")
What is your favorite video game? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/49 "2003-04-18T20:20:21Z")
What’s your sign? Also, what does broiled stomach taste like? It’s eerie, I tell you. Has Lib been posting anywhere else? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/50 "2003-04-18T20:41:09Z")
What is the official Iraqi policy towards my birthday next week? Should I expect prezzies from you and Saddam? Should I risk opening prezzies from you and Saddam? ---
**Author:** ![Kantalooppi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@Kantalooppi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kantalooppi)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524/51 "2003-04-18T20:49:33Z")
If you died, would Joe Goebbels spank you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-iraqi-information-minister/169524.md?page=2)