# Ask the Jack-In-The-Box **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 6, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407 "2010-08-06T15:38:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/21 "2010-08-07T02:50:01Z")
> [@AnnaKareninja](#): > > The mirror, on the lid of the box: do you stare at it and contemplate your purpose, or does your wooden, painted, creepy, creepy, smiling, creepy face scare your own self as much as it scares me? That adds another level of creepiness to being turned into a Jack in the Box a la “It’s A Good Life.” ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/22 "2010-08-07T02:55:25Z")
What does a jack-in-the-box do while in the box? Don’t you get bored? ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/23 "2010-08-07T03:02:41Z")
What kind of porn do you enjoy, and what is the name of the porn type that you and your people star in? ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2010, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/24 "2010-08-07T03:16:31Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > What kind of porn do you enjoy, and what is the name of the porn type that you and your people star in? Not sure what he’ll say, but I’m assuming it’s going to end in some sort of pop. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/25 "2010-08-09T02:47:33Z")
How come there are no Jill-In-The-Boxs? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/26 "2010-08-09T12:05:03Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > What kind of porn do you enjoy, and what is the name of the porn type that you and your people star in? > [@Autolycus](#): > > How come there are no Jill-In-The-Boxs? I’m thinking the answers to these two questions will be related. If there _are_ any answers. :: taps foot impatiently :: Hey, somebody forgot to wind up Inigo again! ---
**Author:** ![AnnaKareninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@AnnaKareninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnnaKareninja)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/27 "2010-08-09T12:22:16Z")
Quick! Someone dig up Domingo! That’ll really wind him up. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/28 "2010-08-09T12:36:06Z")
Wouldn’t the female be “Jackie in the Box?” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/29 "2010-08-09T16:43:26Z")
Uh, yeah, I’d like two tacos, an Ultimate Cheeseburger, and some spicy curly fries, please? And a large Dr Pepper. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/30 "2010-08-09T17:48:30Z")
> [@](#): > > So. . . I guess you pissed off that creepy kid with the weird powers, huh? - dink … da-dink … da-din-ke-ty … dink \* > [@](#): > > Yeah, can I get the Big Chicken Sandwich combo, medium, with curly fries and an oreo shake? - _ **SPROIOIOING** _!! \* Sorry for not getting out sooner, my spring jammed. Damned Chinese steel–things ain’t been right since we stopped getting made in Taiwan. > [@](#): > > Hey Jack, how often do you need to lube your spring? The dry lube I got at the factory suits just fine. Trouble is the spring itself is a little weak and tends to buckle if I don’t get stuffed in the box just right. As for the food orders, sorry–I’m not hooked into the restaurant so it may take a while. To be fair, that’s a different sort of JITB. He’s bigger and electronic, but I have it on good authority that his spring is fake–The charlatan doesn’t really pop out of a box. > [@](#): > > Do you ever root for the weasel to just turn around and start ripping at some monkey throat? I’ve had a lot of time to contemplate the lyrics to that tune as I sit idly in my cubicle, gazing at my creepy reflection. I have decided that the monkey and weasel are already one, and that the weasel turning on the monkey will have already happened by the time it does. > [@](#): > > Are you a jester or a clown? I am a Jack, closer to a jester or knave. > [@](#): > > How come there are no Jill-In-The-Boxs? A rose is a rose…etc. Having only a spring where my nethers would be it’s sort of a moot point. I suppose some daring lad could make me his Jill if was careful to remove my spring. I can’t figure why he’d do such a thing unless he wanted to screw someone silly. > [@](#): > > - What does a jack-in-the-box do while in the box? Don’t you get bored? > - What kind of porn do you enjoy, and what is the name of the porn type that you and your people star in? Jacks-in-boxes often consider masturbating wildly. However, as we lack nethers our time is spent almost entirely with contemplating. It’s very frustrating and lonely. I suppose our relief at seeing a new face when we are released temporarily from inside the box is a bit unsettling for many. At least, I don’t mean to look creepy, I just forget myself. > [@](#): > > The mirror, on the lid of the box: do you stare at it and contemplate your purpose, or does your wooden, painted, creepy, creepy, smiling, creepy face scare your own self as much as it scares me? Every time I get stuffed back in I pray not to end up nose-to-creepy-nose with my reflection. I am deathly afraid of clowns and unfortunately have been painted to look like one. I’m a Jack. A knave for crying out loud. Apparently the Chinese manufacturer doesn’t know the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/31 "2010-08-09T17:52:17Z")
What happened to Charlie-in-the-box from the Island of Misfit Toys? Is he in rehab? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/32 "2010-08-09T17:56:39Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > What happened to Herbie-in-the-box from the Island of Misfit Toys? Is he in rehab? _Charlie_ in the box came out of the closet in 1978. By Christmas 1979 he was thrown away after getting badly tangled in his own spring. It was never clear if his death was accidental or internally motivated. He was always a little creepy, even by the standards of other JITBs. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407/33 "2010-08-09T18:21:35Z")
You’re too fast for me, Jack. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-jack-in-the-box/549407.md?page=1)