# Ask the kid who doesn't know much of anything **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 25, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445 "2000-06-25T03:36:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/1 "2000-06-25T03:36:25Z")
Yes, it is a total rip-off of all the other “ask me!” threads, but it’s _my_ rip-off! So go ahead, ask the “kid who doesn’t know much about anything” any question and I will tell you what I think the answer should be. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/2 "2000-06-25T03:43:59Z")
Ok, I’ll bite. Should the Cardinals continue to use Matt Morris as a middle reliever and rest his newly healed arm, or should they move him to the permanent closer slot based on his outstanding performances in his previous appearances this year? And if they do move him to closer, what should they do with Dave Veres? ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/3 "2000-06-25T04:09:33Z")
How do you pronounce words that begin with a vowel in pig latin? ---
**Author:** ![lswote](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lswote/32/5737_2.png) [@lswote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lswote)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/4 "2000-06-25T04:37:59Z")
What do you think of the movie “Dirty Mary Crazy Larry”? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/5 "2000-06-25T07:17:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Should the Cardinals continue to use Matt Morris as a middle reliever and rest his newly healed arm, or should they move him to the permanent closer slot based on his outstanding performances in his previous appearances this year? > > And if they do move him to closer, what should they do with Dave Veres?\*\* Matt Morris should put land mines under each of the bases when the opposing team is up to bat, and Dave Veres should be the one to cart the bits and pieces away. (And if someone is not quite dead but will be in a moment, don’t let him be a baby and just club him on the head to get it over with). > [@](#): > > **How do you pronounce words that begin with a vowel in pig latin?** Put the back of your forearm against your mouth and make that farting noise by exhaling causing vibrations with your lips. I can assure you that’s not what it would sound like. > [@](#): > > **What do you think of the movie “Dirty Mary Crazy Larry”?** I’d rather watch “Debbie Does Dallas”, but that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/6 "2000-06-25T07:20:27Z")
What… is your favorite color? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/7 "2000-06-25T07:28:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*What… is your favorite color? \*\* Blue…no, yellooooooooooooooow!! ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/8 "2000-06-25T07:38:53Z")
Monster, you’re wicked cool for a kid. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/9 "2000-06-25T10:06:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Ok, I’ll bite. > > Should the Cardinals continue to use Matt Morris as a middle reliever and rest his newly healed arm, or should they move him to the permanent closer slot based on his outstanding performances in his previous appearances this year? > > And if they do move him to closer, what should they do with Dave Veres? > \*\* I’ll answer this, since Shayna, one Cardinal expert (a woman who understands **On Base Percentage**! I’d love her if she weren’t beautiful!) is taking some time off of these threads. They should switch the roles of Morris and Veres. However, one problem with using him as a closer though, is that LaRussa would need to be careful about using him too many days in a row. He might not be able to handle too many consecutive game appearances, and thus not be suited for the closer role. The Cardinals pitching staff is a difficult one to manage, because you’ve got Alan Benes in the same situation. In my opinion, Alan Benes and Morris should be starting instead of Hentgen, but I don’t think their arms could handle the increased workload. Oh, and LaRussa should be fired if Rick Ankiel EVER throws over 120 pitches in any one game at any time in the next five years or so. Monster, sorry to hijack your thread, but: 1. This is a BASEBALL question, dammit! And if there’s EVER something I feel qualified to give an opinion on this board about… 2. I figure you wouldn’t mind the gratuituous Shayna mention in your thread. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/10 "2000-06-25T13:03:01Z")
LaRussa’s already gone over the 120-pitch count with Ankiel at least once. Jayson Stark, a senior columnist for ESPN, has devoted like 15 columns to the pitch count of Rick Ankiel, among other things. And the Red Sox stadium “problem.” I say, trade him to the Braves for Terry Mulholland and John Burkett. Then LaRussa can have his way with both of them. In Pig Latin, when you have a voewl beginning a word, you say the word, then “way.” So if the word were away, you’d say “awayway.” Fun, huh? ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/11 "2000-06-25T18:17:40Z")
isn’t this supposed to be monster answerign questions, not the rest of us? oh well. Punha, you seem to take over the questioning forums that you know answers to. [example: ask the grammar harpy] what is the flight of an unlaiden swallow? What is the capital of assyria? What is the number of the counting of the holy hand grenade of Antioch? What is a blancmange? Okay, i think my line of questioning is long enough. Then again, maybe I’ll add another eight inches to it just in case… ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/12 "2000-06-25T18:41:57Z")
Ahem, Please excuse me for barging in, but I’d just like to point out that _ **BASEBALL SUCKS!!!** _ ---
**Author:** ![2sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/e47774/32.png) [@2sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2sense)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/13 "2000-06-25T18:44:57Z")
I enjoy Kid Rock ( kicking it right now ) and even those ( GASP! ) Slim Shady hits. Should I be concerned about the lack of sensitivity that they demonstrate in their songs? I disagree with it, but I still like the songs. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/14 "2000-06-25T19:13:50Z")
\ African or European? And the friggin’ line, people, is 'What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" \ 3 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/15 "2000-06-25T19:17:44Z")
Freak said: “Please excuse me for barging in, but I’d just like to point out that BASEBALL SUCKS!!!” Sorry, but you must phrase that as a question. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/16 "2000-06-25T19:23:11Z")
Oops, sorry. Let me try that again. Ahem, _ **WHY DOES BASEBALL SUCK?!** _ Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/17 "2000-06-25T22:09:38Z")
Hey, no offense, iampunha, but this is MY thread. I make up the answers to these questions, thank you very much. Dry, thanks for the gratuitous Shayna mention, I do appreciate it. > [@](#): > > \*\*WHY DOES BASEBALL SUCK?! \*\* Baseball doesn’t suck, but it’s definitely not the American past-time. Being stupid, ignorant, and greedy is the American past-time. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/18 "2000-06-25T22:37:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > \ > > African or European? > > And the friggin’ line, people, is 'What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" > > \ > > 3 > \*\* Oh no, it’s question commando! Look, he’s taken over another thread! Bugger off, so i accidentally phrased it wrong. What a nitpicker. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/19 "2000-06-26T00:16:53Z")
Do butterflies have knees? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445/20 "2000-06-26T00:22:07Z")
Monster104 said: “Baseball doesn’t suck, but it’s definitely not the American past-time. Being stupid, ignorant, and greedy is the American past-time.” So then skipping college to go pro and having a dishonest rap artist as your agent is the American pasttime? Handy, define knee. Butterflies do not have bones in their joints, but their legs most certainly do bend. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kid-who-doesnt-know-much-of-anything/23445.md?page=2)