# Ask the kimono (and other Japanese stuff) girl **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 27, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031 "2011-06-27T15:59:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![phi2dao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6de8d8/32.png) [@phi2dao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phi2dao)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/21 "2011-06-28T07:48:39Z")
So, I have recently decided that I want to be the sort of person to wear kimono. Where should I start? What are the good places to order kimono? What should one look out for when buying kimono? Where can one find information on how to wear kimono? \ Notes: I’m a guy and I don’t have a huge budget. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/22 "2011-06-28T18:12:11Z")
> [@GythaOgg](#): > > Not quite true; yukata are indeed kimono. The term ‘kimono’ is as general in Japanese as the term ‘dress’ is in English. A _yukata_, is by definition, a lightweight, unlined, informal summer kimono. There are other types of kimono, which are differentiated by being called their proper names; a _uchikake_ is very different garment from\* mofuko\*, for example. Perhaps that’s a personal preference, as yukata is different from other normal wear (komono, tsukesage, houmongi, iromuji, furisode, and tomesode) in that it’s involves much less underclothes, is less strict in its expectations of neatness, the construction is minorly different, and is much less formal (although admittedly you can dress it up by treating it like a komon). I consider it like wearing pajamas out in America might be in 50s years (sort of). And while kimono just means clothes, most people don’t include hippari, mompei, samue, etc as kimono (which is why there’s the redundant word _wafuku_). > [@](#): > > I would also disagree mildly that geisha are the epitome of how to wear kimono properly - it would be more correct to say that geisha are the epitome of how to wear the kimono properly for geisha. ‘Geisha style’ is very formalized, even ritualized and dictated somewhat by tradition - though geisha style does change and even vary from area to area; an astute observer can differentiate a Kyoto geisha from a Tokyo one by their clothing. > > I’m more interested in the history of traditional kimono as worn by everyday people, in their everyday lives, and it’s a shame that this has all but disappeared and what is left is geishas style, which, while important, is hardly representative. I hear the same thing is starting to happen with the sari in India, which is a shame. I can’t disagree. I think that people are trying to reclaim kimono as normal clothes, between the few people wearing it everyday, Kimono-Hime and other fashion magazines, and the gaijin (like me) who’ve claimed it as something that’s fun and beautiful with no other meaning. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/23 "2011-06-28T18:28:47Z")
> [@KinkiNipponTourist](#): > > Also maybe let folks know about funeral kimono (those worn by attendees, not the person in the box)? Those are tasteful and understated, and the makeup worn is different. > > Also, many many women still wear them to (other people’s) weddings. Gorgeous! > > In terms of the shorter sleeves, I seem to remember that _tome-sode_ (the long sleeves reaching nearly to the floor) can be worn until a woman gets married (though that worked out better when women married younger; nowadays unmarried women approaching 30 will start wearing the _furi-sode_ [shorter sleeved kimono]. OTOH, if a woman marries very young, she still switches to _furi-sode_ upon marriage, since that overrides the ‘still technically young enough to get away with _tome-sode_’ clause). Am I correct here, or misremembering/making this all up? 😃 > > Aand my fave bit of kimono trivia: what we refer to as ‘batwings’ or ‘bingo wings’ (big flappy upper arms) are laughingly referred to here as _furisode_. Pretty apt image, if you ask me! 😃 I don’t know much about mofuko (funeral wear) except that it’s all black, so I’m not much help there. I haven’t been to Japan, but I’ve heard that there are some people that choose to wear them everyday, as well as more that wear them to weddings (especially since the wedding couple usually are in kimono at least for the ceremony), graduations, etc. 😉 You’ve got that reversed. Furisode is for unmarried women (and during the wedding) and tomesode is for married or older women. I’ve heard, although I can’t confirm, that a woman over thirty should probably wear tomesode even if she’s unmarried. So I should get one. > [@Sleel](#): > > Well, yeah, 振る means basically to flap or swing. > > To add a couple of things that **STG** couldn’t say without sounding like she’s bragging: most young Japanese women don’t know how to put on _kimono_ by themselves, even the simple forms. _Obi_ tying is particularly difficult. There are some forms of bows that are meant for self-wear, but most people don’t own _kimono_, and they’re often used exclusively for formal occasions so there’s not that much reason for them to learn. (Even in Japan, _kimono_ are bloody expensive. The **cheap** ones typically run a couple of thousand dollars.) So the fact that **STG** knows any of this stuff is pretty cool. Apparently (according to wikipedia), you can get a used kimono for as little as five dollars, but I’ve heard that Japanese people are very against getting anything secondhand (thus all the used ones on eBay for us foreigners 😃 ) I’ll admit it took me several years to learn to tie a _taiko musubi_ with nagoya. I haven’t learned it for fukuro yet. (and I have three pre-tied ones) > [@](#): > > My wife, who actually does know how to dress properly in a _kimono_ or _yukata_ makes the same kind of disparaging comments we do about kids these days who don’t know how to wear pants that fit. She’s especially snotty in the summer, when a lot of girls dress in _yukata_ for parties and fireworks viewing. They often don’t bother to learn how to tie even one of the simpler knots, and use the _obi_ equivalent of a clip-on tie or bowtie on an elastic band. Heh. Yeah, some of the pre-tied hanhaba obi just kill me because it’s _so_ easy. And men can get pre-tied ones! It’s a square knot! > [@phi2dao](#): > > So, I have recently decided that I want to be the sort of person to wear kimono. Where should I start? > > What are the good places to order kimono? > What should one look out for when buying kimono? > Where can one find information on how to wear kimono? > \ > > Notes: I’m a guy and I don’t have a huge budget. I’m not so helpful about men’s stuff, although I keep meaning to learn. I would start with yukata, which mostly means get a yukata, a couple of himo, and an obi. I get mine off eBay, mostly. There are a several eBay stores that just sell kimono and they’re good about splitting things between sexes. [Ichiroya.com](http://Ichiroya.com) is also cool, but they’re more expensive. If you want real experts to help you (especially men), the message board at [ImmortalGeisha.com](http://ImmortalGeisha.com) is AWESOME. There are at least a couple of guys there that can help and they’re working on an encyclopedia (well it’s a wiki, but it’s not a publicly editable one) that’s only visible to members. It’s well-known as the best English (and possibly any language) resource. There’s a bit section of just how to wear (the knowledge base) which is full of links. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/24 "2011-06-28T18:56:50Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > I haven’t been to Japan, but I’ve heard that there are some people that choose to wear them everyday, as well as more that wear them to weddings (especially since the wedding couple usually are in kimono at least for the ceremony), graduations, etc. This is certainly true. My wife is from a very, very old family and her great-aunt is some sort of certified kimono teacher (along with flower arrangment, tea ceremony, some traditional musical instrument, and whatever else you’d expect an accomplished woman to be able to do). We had a pretty substantial contingent of her relatives at our wedding, many of whom came in full dress. It was indeed pretty amazing. My wife’s great aunt wore her own great-grandmother’s kimono that I think came from before the Restoration. It was a real work of art. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/25 "2011-06-28T19:06:29Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > 😉 You’ve got that reversed. Furisode is for unmarried women (and during the wedding) and tomesode is for married or older women. I’ve heard, although I can’t confirm, that a woman over thirty should probably wear tomesode even if she’s unmarried. So I should get one. :smack: Maaaaan, I _knew_ I was going to screw that one up. Thanks for setting me straight! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/26 "2011-06-28T20:10:31Z")
> [@Darryl\_Lict](#): > > What’s the deal with the terminology “wearing kimono”? This sounds like some sort of weird affectation to me. I’m Japanese American and I’ve always heard it “wearing kimonos”. At least one other traditional garment has an affected terminology in English. True Scots wear “the” kilt, not “a” kilt. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/27 "2011-06-28T23:27:39Z")
I worked as a bartender for a Japanese resturant in Atlanta. My first night, I arrived wearing typical black pants white shirt bartender garb, and the manager informed me I would wear a kimono. Interesting experience - many layers, all tied. Tight. At one point the lady dressing me asked if I could breathe. I said “barely” and she informed me it wasn’t tight enough. The kimono was orange. I’m a redhead and didn’t know in advance so my hair was not up. I looked horrible. Manager releneted… ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/28 "2011-06-28T23:38:25Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > I worked as a bartender for a Japanese resturant in Atlanta. My first night, I arrived wearing typical black pants white shirt bartender garb, and the manager informed me I would wear a kimono. Interesting experience - many layers, all tied. Tight. At one point the lady dressing me asked if I could breathe. I said “barely” and she informed me it wasn’t tight enough. The kimono was orange. I’m a redhead and didn’t know in advance so my hair was not up. I looked horrible. Manager releneted… Wow, that’s terrible. A kimono is tighter than most Western clothes (but looser than a bodice), but you shouldn’t have trouble breathing. She didn’t know what she was doing. And why kimono? That’s not even accurate for a restaurant worker. Maybe a hostess or host. They should have done a [happi coat and pants](http://www.jlifeinternational.com/apparel_gif/happi/matsuri/matsuricoat.jpg), with a custom design. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/29 "2011-06-29T00:11:40Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > Wow, that’s terrible. A kimono is tighter than most Western clothes (but looser than a bodice), but you shouldn’t have trouble breathing. She didn’t know what she was doing. And why kimono? That’s not even accurate for a restaurant worker. Maybe a hostess or host. They should have done a [happi coat and pants](http://www.jlifeinternational.com/apparel_gif/happi/matsuri/matsuricoat.jpg), with a custom design. I’m not sure - the female servers all wore kimono. I was the only Caucasian employee of the resturant at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/30 "2011-06-29T20:43:51Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > I’m not sure - the female servers all wore kimono. I was the only Caucasian employee of the resturant at the time. A friend of mine lived in Japan for a year or so after she finished her service in the military. She worked in a Japanese restaurant. Her job was to spend an hour or two at a time naked on her hands and knees while businessmen ate sushi off her back. The entire waitstaff was white. It’s a weird world, but she made great tips. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/31 "2011-06-29T20:48:19Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > It’s a weird world, but she made great tips. Where did she put the tips? ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/32 "2011-06-29T20:50:18Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Where did she put the tips? Yanno, that is the one logistical question about that job that I never asked her. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/33 "2011-06-30T16:13:37Z")
Are you an Asiaphile in general? Have you ever been accused of being pretentious? Are you pretentious? It sounds like wearing a kimono in America is one of those “look at what a unique individual I am!” things (like guys wearing tight pants and mascara). So, why do you do it if not for that reason? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/34 "2011-06-30T16:44:15Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > They should have done a [happi coat and pants](http://www.jlifeinternational.com/apparel_gif/happi/matsuri/matsuricoat.jpg), with a custom design. That looks cute. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/35 "2011-06-30T17:34:04Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Are you an Asiaphile in general? > > Have you ever been accused of being pretentious? Are you pretentious? It sounds like wearing a kimono in America is one of those “look at what a unique individual I am!” things (like guys wearing tight pants and mascara). So, why do you do it if not for that reason? This was my question too. Mainly, why? Not being judgmental. I think they are pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/36 "2011-06-30T17:43:43Z")
Is a kimono Girl a girl shaped like a kimono, a kimono shaped like a girl, or is it like “when a man (or woman) and Asian fabric love each other very much…” ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/37 "2011-06-30T17:52:17Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Are you an Asiaphile in general? > > Have you ever been accused of being pretentious? Are you pretentious? It sounds like wearing a kimono in America is one of those “look at what a unique individual I am!” things (like guys wearing tight pants and mascara). So, why do you do it if not for that reason? But what are your thoughts on yaoi? (directed to STG, but hey, I’ll listen to yours too!) ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/38 "2011-06-30T18:04:41Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Is a kimono Girl a girl shaped like a kimono, a kimono shaped like a girl, or is it like “when a man (or woman) and Asian fabric love each other very much…” Well, I am kimono shaped, which is one of the reasons I like them. I’m shaped much more like Twiggy than Marilyn Monroe, and since kimono is pretty much designed for no butt, no hips, no boobs, it works out well for me (not that curvier women can’t look great in kimono). > [@rachelellogram](#): > > Are you an Asiaphile in general? > > Have you ever been accused of being pretentious? Are you pretentious? It sounds like wearing a kimono in America is one of those “look at what a unique individual I am!” things (like guys wearing tight pants and mascara). So, why do you do it if not for that reason? Somewhat. I like a lot of things from Japan - dolls, paintings, prints, the language (I’m a language nerd), anime and manga (although that’s less ‘ooo thing from Japan!’ and more ‘this story is really cool and the art is pretty’). I don’t think I’m pretentious as much as I wear what I like. I don’t go out of my way to throw what I wear or do in people’s faces. It’s not like I go out everyday in kimono. I also haven’t gotten the impression from any of the other non-Japanese people who wear kimono or Japanese people who wear kimono everyday, that they’re doing it to be pretentious. It’s just ‘this is beautiful, it makes me feel beautiful, I want to wear it.’ And if you go to Japanese cultural events, like Obon, cherry blossom viewings, etc, wearing kimono makes it more special. Take a look at [this picture](http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1431/5607829607_0408c08f12_z.jpg). Does that family seem pretentious? You hardly notice that they’re in kimono. (That’s Naomi Graham, who runs ImmortalGeisha and is a star in the kimono-lovers world). (Because I _love_ her style here’s the link to [her blog](http://www.kimonoasobi.com). I don’t dress as vibrantly) I feel beautiful and graceful in kimono, which I don’t often feel in Western dresses. Because there are so many layers it hides flaws and the focus becomes the outfit and not the person. It’s less sexualized (at least to Western eyes\*) than many dresses (especially the ones I saw on people in college at dances. And _I_ wasn’t freezing to death). - of course there’s always the points considered classically sexy in kimono - the sweep of the sleeve, the back of the neck, the prospect of unwrapping the girl… ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/39 "2011-06-30T18:11:49Z")
> [@Silver Tyger Girl](#): > > Take a look at [this picture](http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1431/5607829607_0408c08f12_z.jpg). Does that family seem pretentious? You hardly notice that they’re in kimono. (That’s Naomi Graham, who runs ImmortalGeisha and is a star in the kimono-lovers world). (Because I _love_ her style here’s the link to [her blog](http://www.kimonoasobi.com). I don’t dress as vibrantly) Yeah, they look pretty pretentious to me. The guy worse than the girl. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031/40 "2011-06-30T18:24:43Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Yeah, they look pretty pretentious to me. The guy worse than the girl. ROFL. I think her husband dresses mainly because she does! Full disclosure, it was at [a cherry blossom viewing](http://www.kimonoasobi.com/?p=149) so they were undoubtedly not the only ones in kimono. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-kimono-and-other-japanese-stuff-girl/587031.md?page=3)