# Ask The Lesbian! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175 "2003-05-19T03:59:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/121 "2003-05-21T21:39:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QueerGeekGirl \* > **The fingernail crack was alluding to the fact lesbians, uh, well–we use our hands a lot during sex, and long fingernails are a no-no for a lot of things.** So do straight guys, at least if they know what they’re doing, which of course cannot be guaranteed. 🙂 Some classical text or other contains a quote to the effect of, “A manicured hand is a sign of a good lover.” ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/122 "2003-05-21T22:40:52Z")
Yeah, but most guys (straight or otherwise) don’t sport long nails… ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/123 "2003-05-21T22:58:26Z")
Erm…I have a question. I know it’s not salacious or anything, but it’s been something I’ve been really wondering for a long time. Why are so many lesbians I see in any lesbian-related publication so…well…mannish? (Androgynous, either-or, use any label you want.) I’ve known a _lot_ of free-thinking, emotionally stable, independent, career minded women who don’t give a damn about traditional gender roles or looking pretty, and only one (one of my high school teachers, IIRC) stood even a _remote_ chance of being mistaken for a guy. My sister, for crying out loud, graduated from one of top universities in the country, has never had a steady boyfriend, never wears makeup for _any_ reason, and has not once in her _life_ asked for my blessing for anything she’s done (did I mention that I’m older than her?). One of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known. One of my cousins, who recently graduated from high school; nearly the same mindset, every bit as stunning. In short, I doubt that not having any desire to appeal to men alone accounts for what these lesbians look like. ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/124 "2003-05-22T00:11:01Z")
QGG, it was a surprise to see Ironton, OH as your location. I grew up and graduated from Wheelersburg HS many years before you were born. My wife and I (she went to Northwest HS, just the other side of Portsmouth) were through Ironton last week. We were back there visiting family. I really liked you statement in, I think, your first answer, that Ironton is the pits. My exact opinion of Southern Ohio in general. My wife wants to move back there when she retires to be closer to her family. I spent the whole trip pointing out all the bad things I could, don’t think it’s going to work though. Excuse the hijacky kind of thingie, just wanted to say hi. ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/125 "2003-05-22T01:54:46Z")
Southern Ohio… near a school arguing over a GSA forming… you live near Boyd county, QGG? I’m up near Cincinnati, which I doubt is much better off. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/126 "2003-05-22T02:19:20Z")
**DKW** – I think most masculine-looking lesbians appear that way for the sake of what they’re comfortable with. A few posts back, I gave a short explanation of the butch-femme aesthetic, which also figures into it sometimes. Honestly though, I think wearing very masculine clothing/sporting masculine haircuts, etc is just what those particular lesbians are comfortable with physically. My wife, as an example, has a very short haircut and dresses in rather butch clothing–it’s how she’s most comfortable. I, OTOH, sometimes wear makeup and skirts and the like, because I don’t feel ill-at-ease in them. **SandyHook** , the only good thing this area has produced is my wife. And now–you! A fellow Doper. Oh, and your wife. Hey, that’s three things good that have came out of Southern Ohio. There may be hope after all. I’m glad you said hello–sometimes I feel very isolated down here from semi-intelligent folks. **Priam** – I’m about 15 minutes from Boyd County, where the GSA debate is raging. That’s actually the county I was referring to upthread. Can you believe such nonsense? Oh, and another happy event occurred recently–Phelps and his crew of demons were here recently protesting. What a bunch of jackasses. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/127 "2003-05-22T03:33:11Z")
Phelps was going to protest up here in Covington, KY because they were working on an anti-discrimination ordinance. However, rain grounded his plane and saved us from the unwanted entertainment. “God works in mysterious ways”, as the Mayor said in an interview. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/128 "2003-05-22T05:19:55Z")
Thanks for the link, QueerGeekGirl. Although I was a bit let down by it. 😉 By the way, I keep envisioning your name as QueerQuarkGirl. If you ever change handles or go into physics… By the way, did anyone else have a gay/straight (or similar) alliance at their high school? We had one that started my senior year - I think - but nobody in it was openly gay, for obvious reasons I suppose. Anybody else? ---
**Author:** ![Shana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Shana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shana)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/129 "2003-05-22T05:42:04Z")
Aw. **QGG** , you didn’t answer my question…sniff sniff. (Shana proceeds to cry all over her keyboard.) ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/130 "2003-05-22T07:28:12Z")
Part of the non-girly looking thing can (imho) be explained by the fact that many babydykes don’t get into the girly-thing as teenagers. At the age when all my buddies were getting into make-up and clothes etc I was fairly busy just trying to work out what the hell was going on with my life. The fact that picking up guys featured heavily in their experimentation with girlieness also took away from the interest. So I never learned to wear make-up etc. I still don’t know how to put on make-up without looking like a clown, and if I were to start wearing makeup now it would be _really_ noticible (since I never usually do) and would look fairly over-done. I wore makeup for my wedding, but that is cos I my “bridesmaid” is a hairdresser and makeupartist and also because it was a situation where one was supposed to be a little “overdone”. Most of the time I wear no make up at all. If I am going out or want to feel a bit “dressed up” then a little maskara and some lipstick put on and wiped off is about my limit. Again, not having the habit of wearing makeup, I do all sorts of dumb things like rub my eyes etc, so when I do wear some I run the risk of looking like a raccoon. The same goes for the clothes thing, when my buddies were busy working out what suited them, what style they had, what clothing was appropriate when etc, I was not interested and to an extent activly keeping to myself a little cos I knew there was “something wrong with me” and if I hung out with my friends too much they might find out (this is before I knew I was gay, intellectually at least). So I dressed in what I had always dressed in, jeans and t-shirts and sweatshirts, so I have never really developed a comfort level for skirts and dresses and tight clothes (altho I have become fond of tight little babydoll t-shirts recently). My 2 eurocents. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/131 "2003-05-22T07:51:12Z")
If this isn’t too personal, Do you plan on having children? Have you and your wives discussed this topic or is it something that has never been an issue? ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/132 "2003-05-22T08:15:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by QueerGeekGirl \* > **I’m assuming you’re male and not transgendered, right? In that case, if Pricegirl is in a relationship with you and sleeps with you willingly and joyously** So she tells me. > [@](#): > > **yes, I would label her bisexual and not a lesbian.** Are you offended by her use of the label? If you heard her use it, would you correct her? Apart from the “putting lesbians in a bad light” deal (that I agree with), does it matter? ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/133 "2003-05-22T09:50:54Z")
What do you think about Tammy Bruce and Cammille Paglia? ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/134 "2003-05-22T11:57:15Z")
Iteki, as a fellow European, perhaps I could inviegle you for your opinion on t.A.T.u.? ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/135 "2003-05-22T12:08:32Z")
Ha! There is no WAY they should be in the Eurovision! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/136 "2003-05-22T12:12:43Z")
what do you think of the faux-lesbianism tactics to win what is such an illustrious competition? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/137 "2003-05-22T13:30:58Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by QueerGeekGirl_ > yes, I would label her bisexual and not a lesbian. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priceguy \* > \*\*Are you offended by her use of the label? If you heard her use it, would you correct her? Apart from the “putting lesbians in a bad light” deal (that I agree with), does it matter? \*\* The more I’ve thought about this, the more interesting I think the original question is. It applies to any sexuality really. I hope this isn’t considered a hijack (and one by a gay(?) guy, at that). Where do you draw the line on the Kinsey Scale between Straight, Bi-sexual and Gay? Do you have to be a Kinsey 0 to be Straight and a Kinsey 6 to be truly Gay? I consider myself a Kinsey 4, but I identify as gay. I used to be married to a woman and we had a mostly satifying sexual relationship for much of our 7 years together. Having sex with a woman in the future, while not likey, is not incomprehensible or repulsive to me. Am I really bisexual? In the case of **Pricegal** , she identifies as lesbian, but primarily has sex with a man. So obviously she’s not a Kinsey 6; but is she a lesbian? Just for the record, my gut feeling is that I agree with **QGG** somewhat on this. If her sexuality is primarily expressed with a man but she also desires women, then she is probably more accurately described as bi-sexual. However this gets us back to **iampunha** ’s question concerning whether actions or desires are paramount in determining Gay, Straight or Bi? On a related note, for some interesting insight into where Dopers place themselves on the Kinsey scale, see [Qadgop’s Doper Sexuality study](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=161783). ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/138 "2003-05-22T13:54:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*what do you think of the faux-lesbianism tactics to win what is such an illustrious competition? > > 😛 \*\* I don’t think their faux-lesbian tactics will play in in a huge way in their winning (unless they pull a stunt onscreen during the actual show, which they probably actually will), but that could actually be to their detriment, while the Eurovision is rightly referred to as “Gay Christmas”, the vast majority of the voting republic are not. I think what _will_ win the Eurovision for them is however the fact that they are already famous and have a very identifiable sound. Em, I think maybe that’s not what you are asking tho? 🙂 My attitude to their using faux-lesbian tactics (what a FANTASTIC phrase) to gain attention is the same as the my attitude to the girls doing it to pull guys. I have more repsect for tatu cos they are just doing it for the money, and are (so far) not blurring the issue the way girls in bars do by then going home with the guys. Manafactured pop-bands have to have a hook, this is theirs. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/139 "2003-05-22T14:49:06Z")
Personally, I think they are a pair of snotty diva-esque shrieking harpies, with decidedly dodgy attitudes and surrounded by some very disturbing management. I award them no points. Personally, I think their fame will work against them. Their song just doesn’t have that “Eurovision” quality about it. Personally, I can see Mickey Joe doing it for us again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175/140 "2003-05-22T15:02:06Z")
. . . Which brings up a question. A few—a _very_ few, thankfully!—lesbians have a “problem” with transgendered people. What’s up with that? Do you have any friends who feel this way, and can they be reasoned with? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-lesbian/176175.md?page=8)