# Ask the Magic Crystal Ball!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 1, 2002, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824 "2002-12-01T20:40:17Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\
**Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824/21 "2002-12-02T17:04:02Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by a35362 \*  
> \*\*Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Is existence a predicate?”
> 
> The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Cannot predict now.” \*\*

Dammit.

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**Author:** ![Rug\_Burn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a87d85/32.png) [@Rug\_Burn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rug_Burn)\
**Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824/22 "2002-12-02T17:43:05Z")

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Will anyone find the bodies in the backyard?

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**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\
**Post date:** [December 2, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824/23 "2002-12-02T23:38:57Z")

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Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Will I get the books I wanted for Christmas?”

The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Don’t count on it.”

Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Is the Magic Crystal Ball lying right now?”

The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Yes, definitely.” 😃

Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Will anyone find the bodies in the back yard?”

The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Ask again later.”

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**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\
**Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824/24 "2002-12-03T00:58:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Will I be able to make my flight home?”
> 
> The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Outlook not so good.”
> 
> Uh-oh!

Hmmm. Well, then!

Hey, Magic 8-ball! Will I make my flight home…if I jump up and down while screaming “elephant” at the top of my lungs? Huh? Will I?

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**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\
**Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824/25 "2002-12-03T01:10:03Z")

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Magic Ball, can you see us?

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**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\
**Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824/26 "2002-12-03T01:56:09Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by a35362 \*  
> \*\*Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Will I get the books I wanted for Christmas?”
> 
> The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Don’t count on it.”\*\*

NOOOOOOooooo[sub]OOOOOoooooo…[/sub] Drat.

Will I get the rest of the stuff I wanted for Christmas?

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**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\
**Post date:** [December 3, 2002, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-magic-crystal-ball/139824/27 "2002-12-03T06:51:57Z")

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Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Will I make my flight home if I jump up and down while screaming ‘elephant’ at the top of my lungs?”

The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Don’t count on it.”

Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Can you see us?”

The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “It is certain.”

Ooooooo, Magic Crystal Ball, the question is asked: “Will I get the rest of the stuff I wanted for Christmas?”

The Magic Crystal Ball responds: “Yes.”

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