# Ask the Middle Aged Curmudgeon **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325 "2010-07-11T20:11:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Enuma\_Elish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Enuma\_Elish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enuma_Elish)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/41 "2010-07-12T02:54:59Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > While you cetainly have something resembling a point, and speaking only for myself here, good beer is good beer. Germans didn’t invent it, but they went a long way towards perfecting it. The Brits do pretty damned well by the stuff, too. > > As someone who was damned near weaned on Anheuser-Busch products (my mom worked at the St. Louis brewery for 29 years), I have to honestly say that, for the most part, American mass-produced beers just don’t stand up to European brews. Have you tried American microbrews? Because it seems many people who love beer, but live in America, agree with you! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/42 "2010-07-12T03:02:13Z")
Serious question. Do you think about your own mortality a lot? Have you come to terms with it? Because I’m still in my twenties and I think about aging and death all the time. But I imagine it becomes… less abstract… as you actually age. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/43 "2010-07-12T03:14:59Z")
> [@Enuma\_Elish](#): > > Have you ever actually yelled these words: “Get off my lawn you stupid kids!” or any reasonable variation of… Yes, I have. Oddly enough, the “kids” were 39 and 42 at the time, and not on my lawn. Things like that happen on my semi-annual He-Man-Woman-Haters-Club camping trips, somewhere between the first and third bottles of whiskey. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/44 "2010-07-12T03:22:09Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > What? You mean you actually pay heed to those Brit panty-waists whose asses we saved and them damn Kraut sausage-eaters whose asses we kicked? I’m disappointed, that’s not curmudgeonly enough. We’re talking damn fine beer and meat suitable for grilling here. It ain’t like they’re Non-Cajun French or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/45 "2010-07-12T03:27:19Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Hell, except for the heteorsexual part you could be me then! Wanna come over and hang out at my pool big boy? The backyard is privacy fenced so the neighbors won’t know if our bathing suits “accidentally” slip off in the pool. I got beer! Real beer! The 41st rule of Middle Aged Curmudgeon Club is never go to pool parties hosted by gay men that call you big boy. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/46 "2010-07-12T03:30:06Z")
Have you tried those newfangled Cialis or Levitras, or do you prefer to stick to the old tried and true- Viagra? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/47 "2010-07-12T03:40:59Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The 41st rule of Middle Aged Curmudgeon Club is never go to pool parties hosted by gay men that call you big boy. So that’s why my membership got turned down! Dammit! And here I sit so qualified. To > [@Brynda](#): > > \ I would have said “Cute kittens – dog food that doesn’t need a can” and everything! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/48 "2010-07-12T03:50:57Z")
> [@j66](#): > > Can you explain the riding lawnmower to me? > > It’s hard to hone, louder than those damned subwoofers, and means you have to buy a treadmill, too (or you will not achieve cootdum). And it’s slower! > > You have a leaf-blower, too, don’t you? Explain Riding Lawnmower? 😕 😕 😕 It’s a machine. It’s loud. Powerful. Dangerous to dumbasses. You can drive it, accomplish something useful, and there’s a place to put your beer while you light another smoke. What needs explaining? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/49 "2010-07-12T04:03:31Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Serious question. > > Do you think about your own mortality a lot? Have you come to terms with it? > > Because I’m still in my twenties and I think about aging and death all the time. But I imagine it becomes… less abstract… as you actually age. Not coming to terms with mortality is for candy asses. One day, my heart is going to explode, or some disgruntled defendant is going to blow my fucking head off, or some drunk kid in a boom boom car will splatter my hairy ass across the highway, or my time will be otherwise up. Might be today. Might be 50 years from now. Until it does, I’ll light another smoke, and sip on some whiskey. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/50 "2010-07-12T11:12:15Z")
> [@extank](#): > > while you cetainly have something resembling a point, and speaking only for myself here, good beer is good beer. Germans didn’t invent it, but they went a long way towards perfecting it. The brits do pretty damned well by the stuff, too. > > As someone who was damned near weaned on anheuser-busch products (my mom worked at the st. Louis brewery for 29 years), i have to honestly say that, for the most part, american mass-produced beers just don’t stand up to european brews. whoooooooooosh ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/51 "2010-07-12T11:45:13Z")
Which is worse, the work ethic of the younger generation or a woman who can’t / won’t make cornbread or sweet tea? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/52 "2010-07-12T12:33:52Z")
I’m middle-aged and grumpy. I watch baseball, eat red meat, probably cancel your vote most elections, quit smoking, drink, screw, don’t gamble, curse, don’t own guns (because I’m a terrible shot, and that really takes the fun out of it) and otherwise enjoy being thoroughly, unabashedly male and heterosexual. Got me a self propelled lawnmower, weedeater, leaf blower, hammers, axes, shovels, tents, knives, fishing poles, big ass TV, and just a plain old not-so-big ass. Would I be allowed on your lawn? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/53 "2010-07-12T12:48:07Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > While you cetainly have something resembling a point, and speaking only for myself here, good beer is good beer. Germans didn’t invent it, but they went a long way towards perfecting it. The Brits do pretty damned well by the stuff, too. > > As someone who was damned near weaned on Anheuser-Busch products (my mom worked at the St. Louis brewery for 29 years), I have to honestly say that, for the most part, American mass-produced beers just don’t stand up to European brews. I have a very simple rule: Only drink beer that comes from a country that speaks a germanic language. English beer: Check German beer: check Irish beer: Check Belgian beer: Check (Flemish is germanic) French beer: Hell no Italian Beer: Dear god! I actually put that in my mouth? What was I thinking? Mexican beer: Anything you need to add a lime to so it will be drinkable (and isn’t a gin and tonic) will never be drunk by me. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/54 "2010-07-12T13:29:01Z")
You’re my new hero Oakminster. How about weed. Thumbs up or down? That’s about the only thing that I’m probably less of a curmudgeon about. Like since I’m a reformed hippy from the late 70’s dude. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/55 "2010-07-12T13:33:53Z")
Do you think that maybe life is a little too short to spend the later half of your life all “grumpy” and pissed off at the world for no reason? ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/56 "2010-07-12T13:44:21Z")
When does ‘middle age’ start, in your opinion, **Oakminster**. I was just wondering because my wife doesn’t think I am middle-aged yet, but if I am not, then I am very likely going to live to be more than 110 years in total. Maybe my math is a bit suspect. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/57 "2010-07-12T14:23:34Z")
> [@missred](#): > > Which is worse, the work ethic of the younger generation or a woman who can’t / won’t make cornbread or sweet tea? The damn kids, of course. The woman who can’t/won’t make cornbread or sweet tea is obviously a yankee, and may be claimed as a war prize. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/58 "2010-07-12T14:27:19Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I’m middle-aged and grumpy. I watch baseball, eat red meat, probably cancel your vote most elections, quit smoking, drink, screw, don’t gamble, curse, don’t own guns (because I’m a terrible shot, and that really takes the fun out of it) and otherwise enjoy being thoroughly, unabashedly male and heterosexual. Got me a self propelled lawnmower, weedeater, leaf blower, hammers, axes, shovels, tents, knives, fishing poles, big ass TV, and just a plain old not-so-big ass. > > Would I be allowed on your lawn? Well, ya can drink beer in my garage/driveway area. Or on the patio. I just put out some grass seed over the weekend, so there won’t be any lawn mowing going on. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/59 "2010-07-12T14:31:19Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The woman who can’t/won’t make cornbread or sweet tea is obviously a yankee, and may be claimed as a war prize. I’m certainly glad I was mannerly, it gives me leave to ask you to explain this interesting concept. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/60 "2010-07-12T14:33:12Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > You’re my new hero Oakminster. > > How about weed. Thumbs up or down? That’s about the only thing that I’m probably less of a curmudgeon about. > Like since I’m a reformed hippy from the late 70’s dude. 😃 Thumbs…in the general direction of the Fifth Amendment. I will observe that possession of marijuana is not lawful in my state. Therefore, if I happen to find some laying around somewhere, I’d be obliged to destroy it. I’d then note that burning is a generally efficient means of destruction, and that concern for the environment precludes releasing large amounts of smoke. So one solution may be to burn the illicit substance in relatively small amounts, and to see that the smoke produced thereby is…bio-filtered…before being released into the environment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325.md?page=4)