# Ask the Middle Aged Curmudgeon **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325 "2010-07-11T20:11:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/81 "2010-07-12T20:30:48Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > Wow. Got it in one. 🙂 > > Which do you hate more: Sunshiney smiles or cute puppies? Sunshiney smiles are more annoying. Particularly on the perpetually perky types early in the morning. Puppies are Karana’s creatures, and have more redeeming qualities than most humans I know. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/82 "2010-07-12T20:45:25Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Puppies are Karana’s creatures, and have more redeeming qualities than most humans I know. From [Island of the Blue Dolphins?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_of_the_Blue_Dolphins) That sounds like long haired, dope smokin’ livin’ in the commune unwashed hippie stuff to me. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/83 "2010-07-12T20:52:54Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > From [Island of the Blue Dolphins?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_of_the_Blue_Dolphins) That sounds like long haired, dope smokin’ livin’ in the commune unwashed hippie stuff to me. :dubious: I happen to be long haired, a big fan of the Fifth Amendment, and have several dear friends of the unwashed hippie persuasion. I’ve known some of those people since we were in college together. They ain’t got a lick of sense, and fortunately, most of them don’t vote, but they’re good people. ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/84 "2010-07-12T21:12:19Z")
What the hell is wrong with young people today? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/85 "2010-07-12T21:51:21Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I have a very simple rule: Only drink beer that comes from a country that speaks a germanic language. > > English beer: Check > German beer: check > Irish beer: Check > Belgian beer: Check (Flemish is germanic) > French beer: Hell no > Italian Beer: Dear god! I actually put that in my mouth? What was I thinking? > Mexican beer: Anything you need to add a lime to so it will be drinkable (and isn’t a gin and tonic) will never be drunk by me. Dos Equis Amber and Negro Modelo are perfectly drinkable, sans fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/86 "2010-07-12T22:03:49Z")
> [@figure9](#): > > What the hell is wrong with young people today? Pretty much everything. They don’t have the skills they need to survive in a competitive world, and when they reach the point where Mommy & Daddy can’t fix things for them, they’re in a world of shit. They think it is somehow unfair that my generation, who is just now coming into our own–reaching management positions, weilding a bit of power–expect them to function as adults, and won’t mollycoddle their slacker asses. There’s an appalling lack of respect. When walking through a mall, I’ve heard children not only say “No” to a parent, but actually swear at a parent. Had I done either of those terrible things, all the misguided hippy-dippy social workers in the world would not have prevented either and/or both of my parents, and possibly any other adult within earshot, from blistering my ass with skill and vigor. Therein lies much of the problem with today’s youth. They need more discipline, less indulgence. Parents are not friends. They should be loving, but strict teachers of how to be productive citizens. And how not to have 14 color hair and 27 eyebrow piercings at a job interview. Parents can become friends after the kids have grown, and learned to make their own way in the world. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/87 "2010-07-12T22:07:06Z")
So you’ve, by choice, stopped evolving, satisfied with devolving, it seems, but are not above telling everyone else where they went wrong. That’s not a curmudgeon that’s just being a blowhard. Turn in your cane please! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/88 "2010-07-12T22:19:39Z")
Your a normal middle aged American male. Why would we have anything to ask? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/89 "2010-07-12T22:31:43Z")
> [@](#): > > What the hell is wrong with young people today? In all fairness, I think folks have been asking that question since they made that Socrates fellow drink hemlock. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/90 "2010-07-12T23:33:24Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > From [Island of the Blue Dolphins?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_of_the_Blue_Dolphins) Uh, no. Karana is a storm god from Everquest. Comparable to Thor, with less hammer and more lightning. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/91 "2010-07-12T23:34:33Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Uh, no. Karana is a storm god from Everquest. Comparable to Thor, with less hammer and more lightning. I knew you weren’t a sissy hippie! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/92 "2010-07-12T23:37:40Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > So you’ve, by choice, stopped evolving, satisfied with devolving, it seems, but are not above telling everyone else where they went wrong. That’s not a curmudgeon that’s just being a blowhard. Turn in your cane please! Not much point in continuing to evolve when I’ve already reached perfect wisdom. And telling the foolish masses where they screw up is one of the many public services we curmudgeons provide. Caning may be another, but only for females. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/93 "2010-07-12T23:39:30Z")
You have _long hair_?? That makes you an aging hippie, not a middle aged curmudgeon. Is it gray and thin and does it hang in a lank ponytail at the back of your otherwise balding head? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/94 "2010-07-12T23:43:01Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > You have _long hair_?? That makes you an aging hippie, not a middle aged curmudgeon. Is it gray and thin and does it hang in a lank ponytail at the back of your otherwise balding head? Not grey at all up top. Do have a few grey hairs in my beard. Otherwise blond. Sexy, too. I have been mistaken for Freebird Michael Hayes more than once. Usually in a pony tail in public. Unless I’m on the prowl. I don’t know what lank means. Prolly some new fangled hippy-dippy crap I wouldn’t like. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/95 "2010-07-12T23:46:34Z")
I can’t tell you how disappointed I was with this thread. You see, I thought it was middle AGES, not aged, and was looking forward to reading of your time travels. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/96 "2010-07-12T23:51:19Z")
I suppose mentioning that I am southern and know how to make cornbread, even cracklin’ bread and sweet iced tea wouldn’t help persuade ya would it? Ya can’t blame a bear for tryin’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/97 "2010-07-12T23:53:42Z")
I’m gonna sell tickets to this ass whupin’. Y’all email me for my PayPal account and prices. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/98 "2010-07-12T23:58:00Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I suppose mentioning that I am southern and know how to make cornbread, even cracklin’ bread and sweet iced tea wouldn’t help persuade ya would it? > > Ya can’t blame a bear for tryin’. 😃 Afraid not. However, if the guy that runs the antique store near my office breaks up with his dude, I could tell ya where the store is. I’d prolly just as soon not know whatever happens after that. Unless y’all wanted to get married, and I could persuade my employers to let me litigate it for ya. If we didn’t get burned at the stake by the locals, we might all end up famous…but I’ll never be fabulous. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/99 "2010-07-13T00:04:25Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I’m gonna sell tickets to this ass whupin’. > Y’all email me for my PayPal account and prices. Nah. Years ago, maybe. I had typical jock attitudes towards such things until about my junior year of college. Then I said something dumb, and a friend of mine called me on it. And outted himself. Dude had been my friend for a couple of years. Worked beside me. Drank beside me. He was still the same dude I called friend, nothing changed other than now I knew he was gay. He obviously wasn’t gonna try to fuck me, and I obviously wasn’t gonna turn heel on my friend just because he’s gay. So I stopped being an asshole, and became more tolerant. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/100 "2010-07-13T00:06:04Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > So I stopped being an asshole, and became more tolerant. Have y’all been drinkin’? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325.md?page=6)