# Ask the Middle Aged Curmudgeon **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2010, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325 "2010-07-11T20:11:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/101 "2010-07-13T00:08:43Z")
If two of your friends were going through a bad patch in their marriage, and each of them had sent you several letters detailing their problems with the other, and several years later you wished to dispose of this correspondence, where would you send it? [(one answer lies behind this link)](http://www.thewaythefutureblogs.com/2010/05/the-wives-and-drives-of-robert-heinlein-part-1/) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/102 "2010-07-13T00:10:15Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Have y’all been drinkin’? Let’s just say I haven’t been sober outside of working hours in the last couple of weeks. Don’t plan on starting tonight, either. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/103 "2010-07-13T00:11:40Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Let’s just say I haven’t been sober outside of working hours in the last couple of weeks. Don’t plan on starting tonight, either. Okay, I was beginning to worry! Glad to hear all is well. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/104 "2010-07-13T00:16:40Z")
> [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > If two of your friends were going through a bad patch in their marriage, and each of them had sent you several letters detailing their problems with the other, and several years later you wished to dispose of this correspondence, where would you send it? > > [(one answer lies behind this link)](http://www.thewaythefutureblogs.com/2010/05/the-wives-and-drives-of-robert-heinlein-part-1/) I like Admiral Bob, and derive much of my personal philosophy from his writings, but he fucked up this one. I’d have likely put a stop to the letters from both sides early, but even if I didn’t, I would have burned them rather than what he did. And I’d likely come back from the dead to kick the ass of the guy putting my shit in the street like the blogwriter did. ---
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/105 "2010-07-13T00:16:58Z")
Hows your prostrate? I hear that becomes an issue in late middle age Curmudgeons. I got lucky and they pushed off my first colonoscopy till 50. I can hardly wait…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/106 "2010-07-13T00:24:58Z")
> [@Perciful](#): > > Hows your prostrate? I hear that becomes an issue in late middle age Curmudgeons. I got lucky and they pushed off my first colonoscopy till 50. I can hardly wait…:rolleyes: It don’t hurt, so I’m not worried. I don’t usually go to doctors unless I’m bleeding or in severe pain. Can’t think of any reason I’d let a doctor put something up my ass. If the Big C catches me before the heart or an irate litigant does, so be it. I’ve seen what cancer does to people. I refuse to die that way. I’ll die by my own hand, at a time and place of my own choosing. Being the considerate sort, I’ll do it in such a way as to minimize trauma to innocents. Prolly call 911 to tell them where to find my body, then bang. And eternal peace. At last. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/107 "2010-07-13T02:42:42Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Dulcinea turned out to be a lesbian. Am Not!!! Oh wait. That’s my name somewhere else… Still am not. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/108 "2010-07-13T03:32:39Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Meat: Rare, or medium rare. > Charcoal by choice, whatever is handy if I’m hungry. > Handguns: S&W .357 magnum, double action > Rifles: 1894 Winchester replica, chambered for .357 magnum. I like a semi-long gun and a handgun with the same round. 30-06 if I’m sniping. > Cars: manual, as it was meant to be I’d _so_ want to fuck you if, like, you were a girl, but you’re not, and I’m not, like, gay…and shit. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/109 "2010-07-13T03:38:32Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > While you cetainly have something resembling a point, and speaking only for myself here, good beer is good beer. Germans didn’t invent it, but they went a long way towards perfecting it. The Brits do pretty damned well by the stuff, too. > > As someone who was damned near weaned on Anheuser-Busch products (my mom worked at the St. Louis brewery for 29 years), I have to honestly say that, for the most part, American mass-produced beers just don’t stand up to European brews. As a fellow Army vet, I hate to say this, but…you wear a pink tutu. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/110 "2010-07-13T03:43:13Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > So, at the ripe old age of 42yrs, you’ve decided to close your heart and mind, give up striving to be a better person, and embrace your character flaws as those being cynical transforms them into virtues? What a peach you must be to share time with. > > So, how’s it feel to know that you’ll be the most hated and ignored old man at the nursing home? Hope you enjoy sitting in your own waste! You’re a killjoy asshole. Not cool. This thread is highly entertaining and the board is slow. Piss off. In other words, “Hey, how YOU doin’?” ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/111 "2010-07-13T03:45:30Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > smoked and/or grilled meat You’re such a homo. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/112 "2010-07-13T03:46:06Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > Am Not!!! > > Oh wait. That’s my name somewhere else… > Still am not. Can I get a cite on that? 😃 Somebody was gonna do it, and this is my thread, so I did ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/113 "2010-07-13T03:50:29Z")
And no, I won’t use multiquote. I’m a curmudgeon like that. Get off my internet! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/114 "2010-07-13T03:56:18Z")
Don’t make me call the Gimmick Police on ya. I’m the curmudgeon in this thread, ya interloper. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/115 "2010-07-13T04:00:52Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > As a fellow Army vet, I hate to say this, but…you wear a pink tutu. wtf? ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325/116 "2010-07-13T04:19:29Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > wtf? Denigrating the quality of “get me drunk now I’m a soldier” beer is just bad form, troop. And shit. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-middle-aged-curmudgeon/546325.md?page=5)