# Ask the MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [July 9, 2012, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685 "2012-07-09T09:41:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/121 "2012-07-11T01:54:03Z")
> [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](#): > > A Certain Burly Gentleman!!! Sounds like Queen Victoria’s kid, [Edward VII.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_VII) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/122 "2012-07-11T01:58:00Z")
We had “scattered thunderstorms” yesterday, and a decent thunderstorm today. My dog Penny and Mrs. Plant v.3.0’s sprout’s dog were frightened of the thunder. Hell on squirrels, but wusses on weather. It is a mere 80 F outside. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/123 "2012-07-11T02:05:01Z")
Last official night in my house. First house I ever owned. My kids learned to read in this house. I’m happy we will be together again, tomorrow, and this will all be good, but for tonight I am sad. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/124 "2012-07-11T02:50:00Z")
Aw, we do get attached to our homes, don’t we? I felt the same way about moving out of my first house into this one. There were lots of good memories. On the other hand, I was really excited to be moving to this house too. It was brand spanking new and had room! So much room! It took me almost three years to fill up my kitchen cabinets and drawers! Now, sadly, everything is stuffed to the gills. I need to do some serious purging around this house. It’s long overdue. ---
**Author:** ![ems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@ems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ems)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/125 "2012-07-11T03:13:42Z")
Evening! Dear MMPers why o why o why do I keep being _volunteered_ for the weirdest most complicated PITA projects at work? Thanks bunches **ems** (xoxo) This week I will be mostly in Arkansas. I will also be trying not to slap the person I have to spend tomorrow with. I am thinking happy thoughts. Happy shiny thoughts. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/126 "2012-07-11T04:04:22Z")
**{{{{{Soapy}}}}}** And then this weekend, we can have lunch! my .sig all around ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/127 "2012-07-11T10:20:40Z")
Good Mornin’ Y’all! Up and caffienatin’. _YAWN_ 'Tis 72 Amurrkin out with a predicted high of _only_ 91 and mayhaps rain today, tomorrow and Firday. Oh that 'twould! I’m feelin’ generous, so cookies to **StickyBuns and Gotti**! 😃 **FlyTrap** exactly, 'cept I think OYKW is, in my unbiased opinion, more handsome. > [@mmmmmms](#): > > Dear MMPers why o why o why do I keep being volunteered for the weirdest most complicated PITA projects at work? > > Thanks bunches > > ems (xoxo) Dear **MMMMMMS** , Because it amuses us when you are in such places as \ Bald Knob \, AK. Smooches, The MMP > [@gt](#): > > Dear MMP, > > Does anyone want to work on the data element list I really need to get organized tonight? > > Signed, > > Crossed Eyes in Columbus Dear Crossed Eyes, We would except that then you wouldn’t come in here to bitch about it and that amuses us. MWAH!, The MMP **BBBobbio** sorry to hear that but can’t say as I blame ya. **{{{Soapy}}}** It’s hard but bein’ all together again will make it better. Plus, hey, **N.O.L.** with **Rosie**! Ok, I need more caffiene and rumbly tummy wants to be fed. Then, alas, irk purtification must commence. Happy Tuesday Y’all! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/128 "2012-07-11T10:37:06Z")
> [@gardentraveler](#): > > Dear **Nava** , > I knew the source of the problem before you mentioned her. So sorry. Recent quote from Littlebro: L: “Is it bad, if you do a Pareto of your life and the worst customer is your mother?” N: “Only if your siblings don’t believe you.” L: “Oh, OK then. Yeah, I guess it’s less bad when you know it’s not you, it’s totally her .” Dear **gt** : I have just transferred The Dataload File of Doom to The Bestest Programmer Ever\*, so if it’s something a trained monkey can do, I need something to help me procrastinate on my other duties. - or at least one of the four best ones. I’ve been blessed to meet several programmers I’d be happy to work with again, more than once. > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Sounds like Queen Victoria’s kid, [Edward VII.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_VII) Well, he does look like **swampy** ’s type… ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/129 "2012-07-11T11:01:56Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > My nephew would like to know the same thing Blurf. Gotta get that out of the way. **Rosie** and the rest of y’all, I will illustrate with a few cases of pissing people off. [ul] [li]The previously reported tale of me moving an ambulance 40 feet to unblock a driveway. Got my butt royally chewed for that, my sin was “You Are Not A Driver”. [/li] [li]A couple of shifts back, the crew chief was a young girl who would put on jogging shorts whenever we were in the station. When I decided I was headed for my bunk, I made a playful comment of, “G’night, legs.” Next morning, I got The Lecture about how my comment was unappreciated and inappropriate, and a veiled threat of a sexual harrassment complaint if I said anything like that again. There wasn’t enough :rolleyes: to describe my reaction to that.[/li] [li]Last shift, we picked up a woman with an implanted defibirillator that was firing. My great sin there was having the audacity to hook her up to the cardiac monitor, and was yelled at by the ALS paramedic after the run. You dare not have initiative.[/li] [li]Legs was made a department lieutenant 3 weeks ago. A mistake IMAO because she has a mighty big stick up her butt, and that’s saying something for a department that has an inordinate amount of rectally applied lumber.[/li][/ul] Simply, I got tired of the cliques, the tinhorn power plays, and the bureaucratic bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/130 "2012-07-11T11:25:41Z")
Up, caffeinated, off to irk. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/131 "2012-07-11T11:43:39Z")
Dear MMP, Anyone want to borrow my kids for twenty-four hours so I can sleep and get some things done, or should I have thought about these problems before I had 'em? Very Tired (But I’m eating pecan pie for breakfast, which improves life a bit, I must say) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/132 "2012-07-11T12:01:48Z")
Good mornin!! I actually, mostly, slept in till 7, so I’m feeling human for the moment. Last night I finished the last of the trivets that I want to take to the store today - all I need to do with them now is tag 'em and fill out the inventory sheet, so yay. Plans for today include a couple of loads of laundry, and maybe mowing the ditch. And cleaning my studio since it’s once again a dumping ground. And it’s not supposed to hit 90 today, so that’s good, too. No rain, tho. ☹ \*\*BBBobbio \*\*- would I be correct in suggesting part of your problem is that you’re not from around here? Over the years, I’ve gotten the impression that if you’re not a county native with connections to one of the long-time county names, you’re just not gonna be accepted as a local. Or it might be ineptness in general - I think I mentioned to you the rep of the squad that covers my area - talk about politics and related BS… Bummer that you had to deal with that crap. History tidbit for July 11: _1864 - Confederate forces led by Gen. Jubal Early began an invasion of Washington, DC. They turned back the next day._ Even then, summer in DC was something to be avoided. 😃 Happy Wednesday!! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/133 "2012-07-11T12:25:42Z")
> [@Lissla\_Lissar](#): > > Dear MMP, > > Anyone want to borrow my kids for twenty-four hours so I can sleep and get some things done, or should I have thought about these problems before I had 'em? > > Very Tired > (But I’m eating pecan pie for breakfast, which improves life a bit, I must say) Dear Very Tired, We wish not to borrow your progeny for twenty-four hours. However, since we are in the business of providing helpful advice, we shall pass along a tidbit of parenting advice we have learned. Valium crushed and combined with a juice of choice or oatmeal may provide a welcome relief to the harried mother. It is, of course, up to said mother whom she sedates, herself or her children. Hugs and Helpfulness, The MMP ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/134 "2012-07-11T13:15:28Z")
Dear MMP: Who put the bop in bop-shebop? Who put the ram in ram-a-lama-ding dong? Tone Deaf in MerryLande ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/135 "2012-07-11T14:07:55Z")
Dear Tone-Deaf: We aren’t sure, but we go together like rama, lama, lama. The MMP. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/136 "2012-07-11T15:10:05Z")
Dear MMP, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, what do I do? I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, what do I do? Will subtle innuendoes follow? Ms Ant ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/137 "2012-07-11T15:13:29Z")
Dear MMP - Why oh why do I always get the slice of tomato with the nasty chunk of yellow core in the center? Why, when a bunch of us go out for burgers, everyone else gets beautiful red slices glistening on a bed of lettuce and I get the evil eye, staring at me inedibly from my plate. Signed, It’s Obviously a Plot Against Me ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/138 "2012-07-11T15:21:07Z")
Dear MMP, Why do the maniacs insist on waking me up early on my day off just so they can fall back asleep 5 minutes later, but on the couch? Why are they even more persistent on the mornings I already lost sleep because I had to help Sweetie finish packing and be off at an ungodly hour? Signed, SleepyDwarf ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/139 "2012-07-11T15:21:41Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Dear MMP, > > I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, what do I do? > > I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, what do I do? > > Will subtle innuendoes follow? > > Ms Ant Dear Ant: If you also are not into recreational pharmacy, then what you do is lead a very dull life. The MMP ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/140 "2012-07-11T15:23:09Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Dear MMP - > > Why oh why do I always get the slice of tomato with the nasty chunk of yellow core in the center? Why, when a bunch of us go out for burgers, everyone else gets beautiful red slices glistening on a bed of lettuce and I get the evil eye, staring at me inedibly from my plate. > > Signed, > It’s Obviously a Plot Against Me Dear Plottee: Think of it as a cosmic stinkeye. The MMP [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685.md?page=8)