# Ask the MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [July 9, 2012, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685 "2012-07-09T09:41:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/141 "2012-07-11T15:24:23Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Dear Ant: > > If you also are not into recreational pharmacy, then what you do is lead a very dull life. > > The MMP Or you get psycho dogs. Then you wont have time for drinking or smoking or recreational pharmacy but you will wish for all 3 on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/142 "2012-07-11T15:24:58Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > Dear MMP, > Why do the maniacs insist on waking me up early on my day off just so they can fall back asleep 5 minutes later, but on the couch? Why are they even more persistent on the mornings I already lost sleep because I had to help Sweetie finish packing and be off at an ungodly hour? > Signed, > > SleepyDwarf Dear Sleepy: Because they can. The MMP ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/143 "2012-07-11T15:25:47Z")
Oh yeah. I forgot about that. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/144 "2012-07-11T15:32:17Z")
Gin also works on children. Not saying from _personal experience_ or anything. I think I’ll sedate everyone, just for good measure. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/145 "2012-07-11T15:46:33Z")
> [@ems](#): > > This week I will be mostly in Arkansas. I will also be trying not to slap the person I have to spend tomorrow with. I am thinking happy thoughts. Happy shiny thoughts. 😃 Do those shiny happy thoughts consist of slapping them? Or do you get more creative when daydreaming? 😃 > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Will subtle innuendoes follow? Innuendos, subtle and unsubtle, always follow. Apparently one of my job duties is now nag. I’m not a very good nag. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/146 "2012-07-11T15:54:27Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Dear MMP: > > Who put the bop in bop-shebop? Who put the ram in ram-a-lama-ding dong? > > Tone Deaf in MerryLande Dear Tone Deaf, Upon further research we have determined that [The Lady Chablis](http://clubone-online.com/lady-chablis/) put the bop in bop-shebop and that [Lord Rama](http://www.myguru.in/Deity-Lord-Rama.htm) put the rama in ramaalamadingdong. Regards, The MMP ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/147 "2012-07-11T16:19:37Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob] [LIST] [li]The previously reported tale of me moving an ambulance 40 feet to unblock a driveway. Got my butt royally chewed for that, my sin was “You Are Not A Driver”. [/li][/QUOTE] Like what \*\*Mom \*\*said - you may have a chauffeur endorsement, but you’re not \*their \*chauffeur, and no amount of qualification and certification to be able to drive a 57 foot long articulated ladder truck (or whatever else you have been qualified on) will qualify you in their eyes to dare drive their ambulance, which is probably just a box on an F450 pickup chassis. Their loss, certainly, but on the domestic front, I’m sure \*\*VWife \*\*won’t miss hearing those tones. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/148 "2012-07-11T16:33:03Z")
:mad: and :mad: :mad: The first: I spent an hour and a half writing a training plan for a new person comin’ on board. It was a masterpiece as are all my training plans. I get to the end. I hit “save”. I get, “your session has timed out” so nuttin’ is saved. I had to do it all over again. :mad: The second: How the \*#$% did a cockroach get in a refrigerator!!! I say somebody brought it in in sump’n. It scurried out when I opened the door. My **N.O.L.** was in there. I threw it out because well, there was a \*#&% COCKROACH IN THE REFRIGERATOR!!! EEEEEEWWW!!! ICK!!! ICK!!! I’m eatin’ pretzels. Thus endeth the rant. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/149 "2012-07-11T17:12:30Z")
Aw, **swampy** , don’t look at it as a cockroach - look at it as a protein supplement… 😛 ick I took my trivets over to the store. The owners weren’t there, but I met 2 employees (?) and turned over my trivets to one of them. While I was in there, a customer came in and was saying how she’d bought some of my pottery and she was going to come back and buy some more. yay! I need to find out when they pay - I know I have a few dollars coming to me now. Guess it’s time to go clean up the studio. I don’t wanna clean up the studio. I wanna nap. _\_ ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/150 "2012-07-11T17:12:55Z")
Dear MMP: Why are the young folks around me still shooting off fireworks?! Get offa my lawn!! Wasn’t the fourth of July last week?! signed, hurting ear drums (plus scared person who nearly jumped out of their skin several times!) LOL Yes, they are still setting off fireworks here - where they should not have been doing practically any of them because it’s been so dry! The whistling ones are the worst for me, that whistle sound is very shrill and hurts my elderly ear drum. 😉 I heard about that train crash near Columbus OH and am hoping that **GT** isn’t affected - they said that they had evacuated people within a couple of miles of the crash and subsequent fire, and last I heard it was still burning. ☹ Prayers for all those affected. Last day of cooler temps here, but at least it has been raining. Some. LOL It’s still very dry here. I cannot believe it, but they are actually going to lift a lot of the restrictions but I guess folks are going to light camp fires, etc. anyway, especially in the summer time during vacations. I still cannot believe how many folks in NM still smoke, or at least it seems that way to me. LOL Probably the former smoker in me finally noticing or something like that! Ah well, happy Hump day all. And **LiLi** , I totally empathize with you and the kids are just so cute, all of them. Wish I could help spell you some! Sending good thoughts your way … soothing thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/151 "2012-07-11T17:32:01Z")
Down near the cafeteria, there’s a shop that does nails and hair. I hesitate to call it a beauty parlor or even a salon, but it exists. They put up a new sign today, skillfully printed on regular office paper and artfully taped to the front counter. It screams in 72-point type: _**WE NOW HAVE A “BARBER” HERE**_ When will people ever learn punctuation and quotation marks? (And if they insist on using Comic Sans, to at least not set it all caps?) And what’s with the red? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/152 "2012-07-11T19:04:31Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > (And if they insist on using Comic Sans, to at least not set it all caps?) And what’s with the red? Technically, using Comic Sans in all caps would be more correct than mixed case, as comics, including the comics that the so-called designer of Comic Sans used as inspiration (and I use the term loosely), are traditionally all caps. Admittedly that doesn’t change the following facts, in no particular order: Comic Sans is horribly designed; using a comic style font does not mean whimsy; there are much much much better comic style fonts, for free even; and, ignoring the rest, Comic Sans is horribly overused and thus, like all overused fonts, should be used sparingly if at all. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/153 "2012-07-11T19:20:23Z")
When someoneused comic sans in email, I understand that they give the same importance to my communication as they do to the Sunday funnies. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/154 "2012-07-11T20:09:41Z")
**gotti** , what do you have against “BARBERS”??? Are you some kind of snob??? 😛 And I happen to like comic sans, so you’re all wrong. 😛 Laundry is in, studio is sorta tidy, I made a mini-brick BBQ out of clay, and \*\*FCD \*\*and I are going out to supper later. So no cooking for me - yay! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/155 "2012-07-11T20:13:37Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > And I happen to like comic sans, so you’re all wrong. 😛 I’m sorry, I can’t quite make that out… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/156 "2012-07-11T21:41:17Z")
Howdy Y’all! Home from irk and dindin has been made and et. Easy one of chikin 'n dumplins and butterbeans. Simple, yet nutritious. Personally I’d be very afraid to let a “BARBER” near my haid. :eek: > [@herbs](#): > > Dear MMP: > > Why are the young folks around me still shooting off fireworks?! Get offa my lawn!! Wasn’t the fourth of July last week?! > > signed, > hurting ear drums (plus scared person who nearly jumped out of their skin several times!) Dear [del]skitish old fart[/del] Hurting Ear Drums, It’s because they’re a buncha whippersnappers that walk around showin’ their underwear, ridin’ skateboards, dyin’ their hair green and probably kick puppies! Snuggles, The MMP ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/157 "2012-07-11T22:15:32Z")
Dear Hurting Ear Drums, Small arms fire will go unnoticed during the adjacent noise. Regards, The MMP. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/158 "2012-07-11T23:07:15Z")
Supper at Kevin’s was good. I’m going to assume the position now. Laterz!!! ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/159 "2012-07-11T23:41:47Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Dear Hurting Ear Drums, > > Small arms fire will go unnoticed during the adjacent noise. > > Regards, > > The MMP. Thank you! I wanted to say this but could not find the right words. In other news, today is a total waste of me. I am doing nothing, besides using up yummy top round to make stew. Otherwise, I might as well have stayed in bed. All this coffee for nothing! ---
**Author:** ![Buttercup\_Smith](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buttercup_smith/32/473_2.png) [@Buttercup\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buttercup_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685/160 "2012-07-11T23:54:05Z")
Dear MMP What doesn’t anyone love me? My back feels as if it is broken due to the plush mattress I bought last year online because there ain’t a mattress store within 150 miles. $1600 down the crapper. Must get a new mattress forthwith. I asked hubby to stop by the store for something for dindin and suggested something easy. Like burgers. He came home with whole chicken, butterpeas and corn on the cob. Guess who is cooking all that at 8PM? With my aching back. I guess he had a gnawing and a cravin for something not so easy. I heard the report of the train derailment on the radio as I was driving in to irk and thought of GT. I would like to buy some of those trivets Mooomm. Do you ship to Florida? Best to all. Rosie’s sig to all. Mumper wannabe. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-mmp/627685.md?page=9)