# Ask the next poster to do something naughty to you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804 "2005-09-28T04:26:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/1 "2005-09-28T04:26:56Z")
Please fondle my bum. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/2 "2005-09-28T05:15:59Z")
I will, but I’d prefer you called them Hobos. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/3 "2005-09-28T05:20:39Z")
Taste my Rainbow. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/4 "2005-09-28T05:25:41Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Taste my Rainbow. If I do this do you promise to tell me who’s stealing my water? Will you write profanity on the my walls? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/5 "2005-09-28T05:36:58Z")
If ever the location of the second poster was optimal, it’s now. Oh, and if you wouldn’t mind, could I have a quick shrimping please? ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/6 "2005-09-28T05:48:46Z")
… deviled shrimping , boiled shrimping, shrimping Jambalaya, fried shrimping, boiled shrimping, shrimping BBQ, shrimping stew, shrimping soup, stir fried shrimping, sweet and sour shrimping, shrimping cocktail, shrimping skewers, shrimping scampi…well that’s 'bout it! Anyway you want it! That’s the way you need it! Any way you want it! Dirty my Sanchez, please? ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/7 "2005-09-28T05:57:31Z")
Make me walk the plank, ya scurvy dog! ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/8 "2005-09-28T05:59:33Z")
Buckle my swashes! ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/9 "2005-09-28T06:04:03Z")
Aye, as you like it! Me peg will ye have?! Bend over, Wench! Jolly me Roger! ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/10 "2005-09-28T06:07:56Z")
Shave my testicles. After that you can massage my taint. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/11 "2005-09-28T06:13:57Z")
Shave and a haircut, Two bits! crunch my frog. ring my tone. ---
**Author:** ![Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Buckler\_of\_Swashing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buckler_of_Swashing)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/12 "2005-09-28T08:46:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by CynicalGabe > > Buckle my swashes! That offer is not available in your area! ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/13 "2005-09-28T13:28:39Z")
Beat me…Whip me… Make me right Bad Checks… ---
**Author:** ![DrMemory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DrMemory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrMemory)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/14 "2005-09-28T13:29:44Z")
Beat me…Whip me… Make me write Bad Checks… sorry for the almost double post ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/15 "2005-09-28T13:32:17Z")
> [@DrMemory](#): > > Beat me…Whip me… Make me right Bad Checks… Take THAT _smack_ and THAT! _lash_ Now you fix up these checks or there’ll be more where that came from! ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/16 "2005-09-28T13:33:21Z")
Oh, wax my bikini line. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/17 "2005-09-28T13:59:49Z")
Ok, but I’ll need to strip it before waxing. Gets out floor stripper. Squeeze my Charmin. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/18 "2005-09-28T14:04:46Z")
Charmed, I’m sure… whoops. Well, there you go. My apologies. Lick my doringos. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/19 "2005-09-28T14:18:29Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > Charmed, I’m sure… whoops. Well, there you go. My apologies. > Lick my doringos. I’ll lick your Doringos if some one will tighten my stanchions. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/20 "2005-09-28T14:23:00Z")
> [@marque elf](#): > > I’ll lick your Doringos if some one will tighten my stanchions. Give me the spanner and stand back! Kiss my grits! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804.md?page=2)