# Ask the next poster to do something naughty to you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804 "2005-09-28T04:26:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/41 "2005-09-28T23:25:37Z")
OoooooooOOOOooOOooooooooooo. That’s good name. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/42 "2005-09-28T23:39:40Z")
Light my fire. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/43 "2005-09-28T23:48:49Z")
Touch my monkey. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/44 "2005-09-28T23:50:57Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Touch my monkey. Consider it touched. Now, bang my gavel. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/45 "2005-09-28T23:53:26Z")
Please 6 my 9. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/46 "2005-09-29T00:20:19Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > Please 6 my 9. Only if you 4 my 2. So, who wants to toss the old salad? ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/47 "2005-09-29T00:25:28Z")
Butter my muffin. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/48 "2005-09-29T00:30:41Z")
tongue jack my shitbox. i win. either that or “tongue polish my turd cutter” either way, i still win. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/49 "2005-09-29T02:21:59Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#): > > i win. Look again, scooter. I beat you by two posts. I don’t know what you think you’ve won anyway. A shift key for your keyboard perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/50 "2005-09-29T02:24:34Z")
Hey, Betsy - fuck me. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/51 "2005-09-29T02:28:20Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > I don’t know what you think you’ve won anyway. A shift key for your keyboard perhaps? Maybe he’s possessed by the spirit of e e cummings. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/52 "2005-09-29T03:31:49Z")
nope. shift key works just fine. i opt to neglect it with any form of internet communication. and besides, i painted the picture much more vividly. i hope i won me a plate of chocolate chip cookies. i could go for some cookies right now ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/53 "2005-09-29T03:40:59Z")
Look at my etchings. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/54 "2005-09-29T03:43:14Z")
Are you lookin’ at my bum? Bum looker! Cheeky monkey! Do that again. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/55 "2005-09-29T03:52:44Z")
Paint my dick red and call me lipstick! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/56 "2005-09-29T04:33:18Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#): > > nope. shift key works just fine. i opt to neglect it with any form of internet communication. > > and besides, i painted the picture much more vividly. > > i hope i won me a plate of chocolate chip cookies. > i could go for some cookies right now Someone needs to shift his key alright. Please, won’t someone frost my preserves? ---
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/57 "2005-09-29T06:11:33Z")
Sit on my face and tell me you love me. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/58 "2005-09-29T11:15:48Z")
> [@Catalyst](#): > > Sit on my face and tell me you love me. I’ll sit on your face, and tell you I love you. Oh I love the way that you moralize… Sorry In the meantime, could you toss my salad? ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/59 "2005-09-29T14:48:33Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > In the meantime, could you toss my salad? Certainly, I’ve got these enormous wooden utensils with your name written all over them. Really. It says right there in red crayon, “Shib…O…Lef…” What? Oh, erm…right. Won’t someone puh-leeze play with my perineum? ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804/60 "2005-09-29T14:50:36Z")
Only if you’ll diddle my uvula in return. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-next-poster-to-do-something-naughty-to-you/323804.md?page=4)