# Ask the nude sleeper anything! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2010, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323 "2010-10-16T07:16:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/81 "2010-10-20T01:23:04Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > Joke all you want sweet pea, it’s tiny flecks of shit and sweat for you, too Speak for yourself. If you spray shit when you fart, it sounds like a dietary problem. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/82 "2010-10-20T01:44:52Z")
_“In the winter, I’m a Buddhist; in the summer, I’m a nudist!”_ -Joe Gould I do wear pajamas in cooler weather to retain body heat. Warm weather requires shedding it; both in the interest of good sleep. I recall reading that it’s better for young males to sleep naked, to prevent their nocturnal erections from developing into permanently bent. “Johnny - you take those off before you get in bed. Do you want to have to wear a brace?” Also, reading this thread, I realize I’m odd in that I change my sheets daily. It’s not a necessity, but an inexpensive indulgence: I dry them on the line so it’s not like they dissipate into the dryer’s lint trap. Speaking of dirty sheets, Dylan Thomas would take to his bed for chocolate & wiskey benders, and awaken a day or so later after shitting the bed. ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_Elliot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jane_elliot/32/6166_2.png) [@Jane\_Elliot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_Elliot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/83 "2010-10-20T02:02:21Z")
I stopped sleeping in the nude when I realized that I sleepwalk at random times. I have been known to cook breakfast, have sex and carry on conversations when asleep. Since I don’t bother to put on clothes when I sleepwalk I sleep in pajamas. ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/84 "2010-10-20T02:07:07Z")
> [@Jane\_Elliot](#): > > I stopped sleeping in the nude when I realized that I sleepwalk at random times. I have been known to cook breakfast, have sex and carry on conversations when asleep. Since I don’t bother to put on clothes when I sleepwalk I sleep in pajamas. I did that too; shortly after my divorce (20 years ago), I was having chronic nightmares and was once found wandering the streets, naked, at 3:30 a.m. That’s ended, thankfully. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/85 "2010-10-20T14:35:33Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Speak for yourself. If you spray shit when you fart, it sounds like a dietary problem. from the post you’re responding to, > [@](#): > > Joke all you want sweet pea, it’s tiny flecks of shit and sweat for you, too ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/86 "2010-10-20T14:43:01Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > But what it comes down to, whole bean, is that I have never woken up in my own vomit, so I don’t have to take the extra precaution of wearing jammies. What on earth could you be referring to? I’ve never woken in my own vomit either. [QUOTE=Muffin] In any event, most folks launder as is reasonable to maintain clean bedding, jammies, undies, etc., so this whole beaness of sheets somehow being less clean than jammies is a blind alley. Don’t wash the sheets frequently enough? Yuck. Don’t wash the PJs frequently enough? Yuck. Don’t wash the underwear frequently enough? Yuck. [/QUOTE] Jesus, this is a challenge. The point is that most folks don’t launder their sheets with the same frequency that they launder their underpants, _i.e._, after one use, yet a nude sleeper exposes his sheets to the same thing, _i.e._, ass, with no less frequency. [QUOTE=OpalCat] I shower at night, I use a bidet, and I don’t rub my asshole on my sheets. I sleep nude and my sheets don’t smell bad. [/QUOTE] What a cliche. I bet you only drive an SUV to pull a horse trailer and always obey traffic laws when riding a bicycle. How do you feel about declawing cats? ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/87 "2010-10-20T16:51:33Z")
Where do you get these sheets that you tie around your ass like a diaper? ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/88 "2010-10-20T17:06:50Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > Where do you get these sheets that you tie around your ass like a diaper? I assume your question is directed at the folks who treat a sheet like a diaper. The sheets I get are either flat or fitted. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/89 "2010-10-20T17:41:23Z")
So, for those of you who\* don’t\* sleep naked, if you have sex at bed time do you then get up and put some PJ’s on? Personally, I like to roll over and fall asleep. Oh, and you can count me and the Mrs. as naked sleepers who’s bed doesn’t smell like ass. In fact, I often wonder why it’s even necessary to change the sheets weekly, but she insists. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/90 "2010-10-20T18:50:25Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > I assume your question is directed at the folks who treat a sheet like a diaper. The sheets I get are either flat or fitted. No, it’s directed at you, the person who seems to think that sheets slept in naked are just as dirty as underwear worn multiple days without washing. Underwear is worn under another layer of clothes, in a constrictive and sweaty environment. I don’t know about you, but my sheets aren’t wrapped around me anywhere close to as tight as underwear and they certainly don’t travel up the crack of my ass as underwear sometimes will. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/91 "2010-10-20T19:49:36Z")
> [@Jane\_Elliot](#): > > I have been known to cook breakfast, have sex and carry on conversations when asleep. All three at once? ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/92 "2010-10-20T21:43:01Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > No, it’s directed at you, the person who seems to think that sheets slept in naked are just as dirty as underwear worn multiple days without washing. Underwear is worn under another layer of clothes, in a constrictive and sweaty environment. I don’t know about you, but my sheets aren’t wrapped around me anywhere close to as tight as underwear and they certainly don’t travel up the crack of my ass as underwear sometimes will. I wear boxer shorts under loose trousers. I am a lawyer, not a pipe-fitter. I don’t usually sweat during the day. My underwear do not stink from afar after a day, probably wouldn’t even after two (I’ve never tried and have no plans to do so). If you sleep naked, after a week, you sheets are bound to smell of ass. Not what-died-in-here ass, but ass nonetheless. After a week, mine smell of a mixture of cologne, shampoo/conditioner, fabric softener, and dedorant. A question to the nude sleepers. Do you at least use a flat top sheet as a buffer between your genitals/ass and your top layer (whether it be a blanket or a comforter)? ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/93 "2010-10-20T21:47:39Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > Oh, and you can count me and the Mrs. as naked sleepers who’s bed doesn’t smell like ass. _In fact, I often wonder why it’s even necessary to change the sheets weekly, but she insists_. That’s just fucking dirty, especially if you’re rubbing your post sex junk all over the sheets. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/94 "2010-10-20T22:23:13Z")
> [@whole\_bean](#): > > I wear boxer shorts under loose trousers. I am a lawyer, not a pipe-fitter. I don’t usually sweat during the day. My underwear do not stink from afar after a day, probably wouldn’t even after two (I’ve never tried and have no plans to do so). If you sleep naked, after a week, you sheets are bound to smell of ass. Not what-died-in-here ass, but ass nonetheless. After a week, mine smell of a mixture of cologne, shampoo/conditioner, fabric softener, and dedorant. > > A question to the nude sleepers. Do you at least use a flat top sheet as a buffer between your genitals/ass and your top layer (whether it be a blanket or a comforter)? Why _wouldn’t_ we use a flat top sheet? I mean, it comes with the set when you buy the pillowcases and fitted sheet. Whaddamigonna do, leave it at the store? ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_Elliot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jane_elliot/32/6166_2.png) [@Jane\_Elliot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_Elliot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/95 "2010-10-20T22:52:23Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > All three at once? I’m not coordinated enough to do all three at once when I’m awake, let alone when I’m sleepwalking. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/96 "2010-10-20T22:52:23Z")
Wow, whole bean, you’re being awfully aggressive and inciteful for such a light- hearted topic. Is this a sore subject for you? As to my question for the OP, do you take naps in the nude too? ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_Elliot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jane_elliot/32/6166_2.png) [@Jane\_Elliot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_Elliot)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/97 "2010-10-20T22:59:21Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > I did that too; shortly after my divorce (20 years ago), I was having chronic nightmares and was once found wandering the streets, naked, at 3:30 a.m. > > That’s ended, thankfully. I found out that I sleepwalk when I was a freshman in college. 30 years later, I still do it. As far as I can tell, it’s not stress induced. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/98 "2010-10-20T23:08:21Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > As to my question for the OP, do you take naps in the nude too? Personally, I root around for yesterday’s underwear and put that back on for napping. ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/99 "2010-10-20T23:09:04Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Wow, whole bean, you’re being awfully aggressive and inciteful for such a light- hearted topic. Is this a sore subject for you? > > As to my question for the OP, do you take naps in the nude too? Great question! WholeBean ~ why so much angst? It is _just_ bodily fluids – why does this disgust you so? ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323/100 "2010-10-20T23:26:35Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Why _wouldn’t_ we use a flat top sheet? I mean, it comes with the set when you buy the pillowcases and fitted sheet. Whaddamigonna do, leave it at the store? You can buy them seperately. As for the “why are you so het up?” folks, I’m not. Not really. I detected condescension early in this thread from the nudies (‘ever heard of bathing’) and just felt like taking 'em down a notch. I could care less is somebody’s little corner of tract housing paradise has ass-scented sheets. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-nude-sleeper-anything/557323.md?page=6)