# Ask the old person **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505 "2011-10-04T01:44:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/1 "2011-10-04T01:44:35Z")
It’s obvious from [threads like this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=626535) that many of you young whippersnappers are interested in how old people function, but either don’t know one well enough to ask, or are afraid we’ll beat you with our canes. So here’s your chance to ask anything. I’m not that old – although I can tap into my IRA without a tax penalty – but old enough to understand and try to explain it. Go ahead, ask away. No need to shout, this is a message board. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/2 "2011-10-04T01:47:10Z")
Do you mentally or emotionally “feel” old? For example, do you sometimes wish to participate in some feat of physical prowess you were able to manage in your 20s but then stop and remember your age and current physical abilities? Or worse yet, attempt said feat of physical prowess and end up hurting yourself or spending the next week in a warm bath to soothe the muscles? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/3 "2011-10-04T01:52:43Z")
Do you cough and fart at the same time? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/4 "2011-10-04T01:56:44Z")
When the doctor asks for a sample of urine, stool and semen, do you just give him your shorts? Do you ever risk letting a fart go anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/5 "2011-10-04T02:04:34Z")
Yes, if you define “physical prowess” as something like lifting a heavy box. Coming to grips with a gradually declining physique is one of the first signs of aging. In some respects, I’m actually in better shape than I was, say, ten years ago, but the muscles and joints have definitely lost something over the years. As for emotional and mental states, it’s not so much as that I’m “old” as that I’ve experienced a lot of things, so I’m in the stage of looking forward with a sense of deja vu. > [@](#): > > Do you cough and fart at the same time? Yes, but I did that when I was young. > [@](#): > > Do you ever risk letting a fart go anymore? I have no problems in that area, sonnyboy! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/6 "2011-10-04T02:08:04Z")
Do you insist on paying with exact change? Do you agree with the way young people do things these days, with the having of the babies before marriage and the living together? Do you have a political party, and has it changed since you got old? When are you going to join your brethren and retire to Arizona, so you can go 30 on the main artery in the left lane at rush hour with your turn signal on? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/7 "2011-10-04T02:09:40Z")
Why is your lawn so appealing to young folks? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/8 "2011-10-04T02:10:34Z")
Why do old people drive _huge_ cars? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/9 "2011-10-04T02:10:37Z")
> [@](#): > > When are you going to join your brethren and retire to Arizona, so you can go 30 on the main artery in the left lane at rush hour with your turn signal on? Don’t you still live in Tucson? Why are you trying to get more people to live there and drive too slowly while in front of you on the road? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/10 "2011-10-04T02:11:38Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Why is your lawn so appealing to young folks? Easy, no obligations other than to take care of the lawn and make it feel soooo good against your bare feet. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/11 "2011-10-04T02:11:50Z")
Who was President when you were born? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/12 "2011-10-04T02:12:43Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Don’t you still live in Tucson? Why are you trying to get more people to live there and drive too slowly while in front of you on the road? Oh, naive boy… it’s inevitable. They all end up here, regardless of what I want. You’ll end up here in 40 years, mark my words. _They all do_. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/13 "2011-10-04T02:18:35Z")
I see you’ve gone for a nap now. We’ll reconvene in the morning. 😃 In the mean time, why do you drive so slowly now? I’m sure you used to zip over the speed limit like the rest of us; so what happened? ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/14 "2011-10-04T02:19:49Z")
Are you baffled by technology? I’m only 40 and can’t hardly keep up anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/15 "2011-10-04T02:46:12Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Do you insist on paying with exact change? If I have exact change, I’ll use it, as I noted in the other thread. > [@](#): > > Do you agree with the way young people do things these days, with the having of the babies before marriage and the living together? My son is living with a woman. One of my nieces had two children in a non-married long-term relationship. My only concern is that all parties involved are protected legally. > [@](#): > > Do you have a political party, and has it changed since you got old? Strictly speaking, I don’t, but I lean heavily liberal and always have. > [@](#): > > When are you going to join your brethren and retire to Arizona, so you can go 30 on the main artery in the left lane at rush hour with your turn signal on? One of my friends is already in Arizona. I’ll probably stay in the Midwest, where I can use as much water as I want on my lawn. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > Why do old people drive _huge_ cars? Couple of reasons. First, they equate huge cars with being safe. Second, most of us like spongy suspensions. Third, back in the day, little cars were cheap, noisy and generally suggested it was either your second car, or you couldn’t afford anything better. > [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Who was President when you were born? Truman. [QUOTE=Leffan] In the mean time, why do you drive so slowly now? I’m sure you used to zip over the speed limit like the rest of us; so what happened? [/QUOTE] Actually, you should be grateful we drive slowly. Our reflexes aren’t what they used to be, and those really big cars don’t handle that well. > [@voguevixen](#): > > Are you baffled by technology? I’m only 40 and can’t hardly keep up anymore. I wouldn’t say I’m baffled by it, but I find that I don’t really need it. I will admit that HDTV has a really nice picture. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/16 "2011-10-04T02:52:28Z")
Do you get up before sunrise to wait for the paper? Do you try to make the early-bird special by getting to the restaurant for dinner at 4:30? Are you married to another old person and if so, for how long? If not, why not? Do you have a cell phone, and do you know how it works? Does it seem like life went by too fast for you, too slow, or just right? ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/17 "2011-10-04T02:54:44Z")
I’m getting up in age myself - do you notice changes in your body hair? I swear I don’t have to shave my once cactus -spiny legs half as much any more, and my arm hairs seem to have turned into soft, soft barely-theres. Yet the damn facial hairs are stornger than ever.:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/18 "2011-10-04T03:00:33Z")
> [@salinqmind](#): > > I’m getting up in age myself - do you notice changes in your body hair? I swear I don’t have to shave my once cactus -spiny legs half as much any more, and my arm hairs seem to have turned into soft, soft barely-theres. Yet the damn facial hairs are stornger than ever.:mad: Oo, oo, I can answer this one. The hair stops growing on top of your head, and starts growing out your ears and nose! ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/19 "2011-10-04T03:14:38Z")
I should note that since Mr. Kunilou was born during the Truman administration he’s not too much older than my dad. I hope I don’t offend him but it doesn’t feel really old to me-my grandmother is eighty-one-now that’s elderly! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505/20 "2011-10-04T03:20:14Z")
“Excuse me, sir. Do you have any spare change?” _starves to death waiting_ 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-old-person/598505.md?page=2)