# Ask the Perpindiguayan... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2015, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122 "2015-05-15T17:12:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/21 "2015-05-15T19:16:25Z")
Are Paraguayans Perpindiguayanphobes? Or do some have friends who are Perpindiguayan? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/22 "2015-05-15T19:21:13Z")
Have you found Jesus? ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/23 "2015-05-15T19:22:01Z")
How did you first become aware of being Perpindiguayan if you never knew any Paraguayans? Were you constantly being accused of being Paraguayans and developed your sense of identity in response to that? Or were you simply surrounded by other Perpendiguayans and they all defined themselves loudly and often as “oh no I’m not Paraguayan, not me”? Any possibility that a lot of them are just in the armario about it? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/24 "2015-05-15T19:30:16Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > There’s not so many Scotsman still trying to hitch-hike their way back from the 1978 World Cup as there are in Patagonia. Some of them have yet to return. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/25 "2015-05-15T19:32:43Z")
Any idea why a box I sent from Prague to Dubai went via Paraguay? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/26 "2015-05-15T19:38:34Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > Every day. Wow. One must respect that kind of dedication! ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/27 "2015-05-15T19:55:09Z")
Do you like oranges? Is your name Nelson or Felix? Do you speak Guaraní? If you answer “yes” to any of those questions you are not as Perpindiguayan as you think you are. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/28 "2015-05-15T19:57:38Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > Are Paraguayans Perpindiguayanphobes? Or do some have friends who are Perpindiguayan? There may be some who are Perpindiguayanphobes; just as there may be some Paraguayaphobes among Perpindiguayans. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/29 "2015-05-15T20:01:01Z")
Do you need a visa when you don’t travel to Paraguay? ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/30 "2015-05-15T20:03:41Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > It’s funny you should bring this up. My entire life I’ve had this unusual feeling that I’ve never been anywhere near Paraguay which somehow supports the possibility that I may be something other than a Paraguayan. > So, while I can’t for certain prove to myself or others I still feel very strongly that I may, in fact, be a Perpindiguayan. > > Is there some sort of test or certification I can have performed to determine this once and for all? > Can a doctor perform this test? > Is it discrete? In other words am I obligated to tell my spouse the results? > > Need answer fast. There’s a simple test: 1. Have you ever supported Paraguay in a soccer match? 2. Are you Scottish? If you can answer no to both these questions you are not Paraguayan. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/31 "2015-05-15T20:06:04Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > Have you found Jesus? No, I didn’t realise he was missing. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/32 "2015-05-15T20:07:41Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > Do you need a visa when you don’t travel to Paraguay? No, a Mastercard’s fine. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/33 "2015-05-15T20:10:42Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > Do you like oranges? > > Is your name Nelson or Felix? > > Do you speak Guaraní? > > If you answer “yes” to any of those questions you are not as Perpindiguayan as you think you are. You seriously trying to tell me that the bloke on top of the column in Trafalger Square was Paraguayan? ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/34 "2015-05-15T20:15:10Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > You seriously trying to tell me that the bloke on top of the column in Trafalger Square was Paraguayan? If he wasn’t he would have a normal person name, like I don’t know, Ernesto, or Meriadoc. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/35 "2015-05-15T20:15:44Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Do Perpindiguayans wear their underwear on the inside or the outside? I’m not sure. Clark Kent doesn’t sound like a typical Paraguayan name though. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/36 "2015-05-15T20:16:03Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > No, I didn’t realise he was missing. Nor have I seen his picture on a milk carton. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/37 "2015-05-15T20:34:19Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Nor have I seen his picture on a milk carton. :dubious: He was supposed to finish my yard work. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/38 "2015-05-15T21:15:31Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > He was supposed to finish my yard work. I’m pretty sure that was a different Jesus, Ancient. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/39 "2015-05-15T21:56:23Z")
> [@mascaroni](#): > > As a Perpindiguayan (i.e. someone who is not Paraguayan), I am ready to answer any questions about not being Paraguayan. > > A little background: > > I’m not Paraguayan, I don’t know any Paraguayans and I’ve never been to Paraguay. I know roughly where it is on the map, but know little of its history or culture, other than a vague knowledge of the Tripartate War, and its being a retirement home for ex-Nazis after WWII. > I do remember England beating them 3-0 in the1986 World Cup though. > > So… Any questions? Have you told your parents yet? ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122/40 "2015-05-15T22:18:14Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Have you told your parents yet? They’ve known all along. It wasn’t like having to admit to my Gooner parents that I supported Spurs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-perpindiguayan/720122.md?page=3)