# Ask the person who just clipped his toenails **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-just-clipped-his-toenails/551796 "2010-08-28T15:55:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-just-clipped-his-toenails/551796/21 "2010-08-30T20:14:03Z")
Do you have a rating system? How’d this session go for you? ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2010, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-just-clipped-his-toenails/551796/22 "2010-08-30T22:59:40Z")
Did you leave a mess of clippings on the floor, or did you clean them up? Did you clip in a private setting or a public location? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-just-clipped-his-toenails/551796/23 "2010-08-31T00:53:59Z")
_Do you file the ends?_ Nuh-uh. I never file the TNs. But if I did, I’d file them under R for Raggedy-Ass. Thanks for asking! _How close do you cut them?_ I do not remove my toes from my foot, therefore I am very close to them when I cut them. Thanks for asking! _Which one of the toenails are the hardest (the smallest one, in my case)?_ Not from where I’m sitting. It’s the Big Boys who consistently cause me the most heartache. They are tough sons of bitches. Thanks for asking! _What do you do with the designated clipping area during your off days?_ By day, it functions as a lounge area for the hound; by night…only the shadow knows. Thanks for asking! _Ever dig the goop out from under the great toenail and smell it?_ I sport no ‘goop’ under my great toenail, sir. Thanks for asking! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-just-clipped-his-toenails/551796/24 "2010-08-31T00:55:04Z")
_Have you ever pitched your toenail-clipping sessions to a network or production company as a reality TV show? If so, did you consider features like (a) Toe of the Week, (b) Crunchiest Clipping, and © Celebrity Guest Clipper?_ I have indeed considered this. As a matter of fact, I’ve drawn up an overhead projector presentation of ‘Toenail Time!’, complete with accompanying Beatles music (Day Clipper, Happiness is a Sharp Clipper, Clip Together, Why Don’t We Clip ‘em in the Road, I Wanna Clip Your Nail, and the controversial Toenail Clipper #9). Thanks for asking! _Whenever I clip my fingernails, I invariably find a need for them within an hour. Do you find the same scenario with your toenails?_ Of course. For this reason, I wait 61 minutes before sweeping them into the wind. I learned this one the hard way. Thanks for asking! _Do you have a preferred brand of toenail clipper?_ I’m no snob. As long as your clipper is nicely balance, has a bit of heft to it, and is sharper than cheddar, you’ll not hear me scoff. Thanks for asking! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-just-clipped-his-toenails/551796/25 "2010-08-31T00:56:43Z")
\*How much shrapnel was there? \* This time, but a moderate amount. There have been past sessions, however, after which one could construct a sturdy dam from the debris. Thanks for asking! \*Are you ever afraid that you might accidentally cut off a toe, or two, or ten? \* I’d be a durn lyin’ fool to suggest that this does not cross my mind from time to time. A durn lyin’ fool, I tells ya. But like anything else where there is potential danger, precautions must be followed. Protocols must be heeded. First aid kits must be well-stocked and maintained. Thanks for asking! \*Do you have a rating system? How’d this session go for you? \* Yes, absolutely. I rate my sessions on a scale from 14-37. This latest go-round rates a solid 29. Thanks for asking! _Did you leave a mess of clippings on the floor, or did you clean them up?_ As explained above, I allow 61 minutes for pangs of regret to abate; thereafter, the clippings are brushed away like cigar ashes on an ascot. Thanks for asking! _Did you clip in a private setting or a public location?_ Semi-private. My neighbors – and their guests – have visual access (of which they rarely take advantage). Thanks for asking! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-just-clipped-his-toenails/551796.md?page=1)