# ask the person who spent friday and saturday morrning in a cell in a britiish police station **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571 "2012-06-18T21:20:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/1 "2012-06-18T21:20:49Z")
I will not discuss anything about the alleged offence itself other than to note it involved importing controlled substances and all my computers were seized (hopefully not for long) so I am typing on a crappy tablet. But if you have questions about what happened at the nick go right ahead. It was my first time so I was paying attention! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/2 "2012-06-18T21:27:28Z")
Allo,allo,allo. What’s all this then? ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/3 "2012-06-18T21:32:01Z")
Are jails in the UK like jails in Philadelphia, where you are advised to proclaim your knowledge of the [quart of blood technique](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsl6Du-vJks) as a deterrent to other detainees who may seek to harass you? ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/4 "2012-06-18T21:32:04Z")
Did you get a free phone call? Or is that only in the US or a myth? ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/5 "2012-06-18T21:33:13Z")
Well, as a valued customer of the British criminal justice system how did you find it? Is there anything we can do to improve your satisfaction and comfort during your next stay? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/6 "2012-06-18T21:35:07Z")
How were the free fish n chips? ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/7 "2012-06-18T21:42:50Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > Did you get a free phone call? Or is that only in the US or a myth? I was allowed one but declined the offer. It seems there was a right to have someone be told but the phone call was at the discretion of the custody seargent. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/8 "2012-06-18T21:49:43Z")
> [@Disposable Hero](#): > > Well, as a valued customer of the British criminal justice system how did you find it? > > Is there anything we can do to improve your satisfaction and comfort during your next stay? 😉 I found it much nicer than I expected. The cell was pretty big if barren, there was a “library” in the sense of books and magazines (I now know too much about canal boats); there were three alright meals a day and even more oddly a kind of room service - you could press a button and someone would be around to bring you a drink. The only thing is if the toilet was flushable I couldnt see how. Additionally everyone I spoke to was not only polite - they were actually NICE. Put it this way if all custody suites are like that there are absolutely no need for any more criminal rights. It would have been nice to keep my belt though! ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/9 "2012-06-18T21:55:56Z")
To be clearobviously the toilet could be flushed somehow but I wasnt sure how from inside the cell. However there was a button next to the “room service” one that probably did it; I did not press it in case it was a panic button or somehhing though. Out of interest Disposable Hero what is it you do? I was thinking of writing a letter to the police to say thanks (it was a customs led investigation so hopefully it wouldn’t look like todaying) is there any reason I ought not to? ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/10 "2012-06-18T22:03:40Z")
> [@Confused dart cum](#): > > Out of interest Disposable Hero what is it you do? I was thinking of writing a letter to the police to say thanks (it was a customs led investigation so hopefully it wouldn’t look like todaying) is there any reason I ought not to? I think the police in the UK aren’t appreciated for the overall good job they do, all the media and public attention seems to be focused on the minority who bring the rest into disrepute. I’m sure a letter of thanks would be very much appreciated, it would make a nice change from the wave of mostly unfounded complaints that wing their way. btw coincedentally enough I’m currently reading ‘Wasting More Police Time’ by David Copperfield, an up-to-date collection of insider accounts from police officers in England and Wales. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in the state of the criminal justice system in the UK today. bttw good to hear you were treated well, I would have been _very_ surprised if you hadn’t been. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/11 "2012-06-18T22:06:51Z")
It’s a fair cop but society is to blame. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/12 "2012-06-18T22:14:59Z")
> [@Confused dart cum](#): > > I was allowed one but declined the offer. It seems there was a right to have someone be told but the phone call was at the discretion of the custody seargent. Were you actually arrested? How long were you held for? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/13 "2012-06-18T22:37:56Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Are jails in the UK like jails in Philadelphia, where you are advised to proclaim your knowledge of the [quart of blood technique](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsl6Du-vJks) as a deterrent to other detainees who may seek to harass you? [off-topic] Wow! I haven’t seen that movie for years, and i never realized before that the guy standing behind Eddie Murphy was Giancarlo Esposito. He was so young! [/o-t] ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/14 "2012-06-18T22:41:27Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > Were you actually arrested? How long were you held for? Yes I was arrested and held roughly thirty hours. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Linctus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Simple\_Linctus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Linctus)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/15 "2012-06-18T22:49:07Z")
> [@Disposable Hero](#): > > bttw good to hear you were treated well, I would have been _very_ surprised if you hadn’t been. I would have been very surprised to be treated actually _badly_ too but what I meant is everyone involved went beyond just calling me sir and talking from a script while looking surly, as you would get at say the passport office; everyone was genuinely _nice_ ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/16 "2012-06-19T00:58:44Z")
Totally serious question: in addition to the 3 daily meals, were you offered afternoon tea? ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/17 "2012-06-19T01:03:49Z")
Were you ever asked to choose between cake or death? ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/18 "2012-06-19T01:30:40Z")
In the USA, we are read/shown our Miranda rights if we are arrested - You have the right to remain silent, etc. Is there an equivalent in Britain? -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/19 "2012-06-19T01:46:44Z")
Were you housed with any current or former Ministers of Parliament? Can you apply for some kind of Royal Pardon? (Just a guess, but I bet the little princes need a reliable supply). 😛 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571/20 "2012-06-19T01:47:55Z")
If you tell me they provide free broadband I’m there. What crime should I commit? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-person-who-spent-friday-and-saturday-morrning-in-a-cell-in-a-britiish-police-station/625571.md?page=2)