# Ask the polydimensionally motile intergalactic alien.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 11, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101 "2005-03-11T22:07:45Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/1 "2005-03-11T22:07:45Z")

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You shall refer to me as a PMI Alien, if it pleases you.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like being a PMI Alien, I can help.

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**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/2 "2005-03-11T22:17:33Z")

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What the hell happened to that cat I put in the box?

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/3 "2005-03-11T22:22:30Z")

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Do you know a guy named Ben?

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/4 "2005-03-11T22:23:24Z")

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He/She/It’s still in there. You must believe this.

Would you like me to teach you how to move in many dimensions?

Stand up. Walk forward & backward. Now walk left & right. Now ho up & down. Now wait…  
There. That’s 4. The rest require other means which you possess but can’t understand how to use. It’s kind of like those odd but unuseful buttons on your TV remote controls.

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**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/5 "2005-03-11T22:52:17Z")

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You shall never do anything. You will. I shall.

I imagine you commit all sorts of crimes just so you can astound people by escaping via the fourth dimension. Is that so?

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/6 "2005-03-11T23:31:53Z")

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As a tri-dimensional motile intergalactic alien, I’m interested in the answers this thread generates to see how they correlate with my own experiences.

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/7 "2005-03-11T23:36:38Z")

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:: Hiss ::  
_Strinka_! Arch nemesis of the Hallicot Revision! Always you will have been troubling the repartition and now I find you have excised the trimfodlator frome your metascapulae! A throlge upon you I curse thy slexidesicourse from the end of eternity to it’s pseudopositivistic blink!

SUCK HOT PLASMA, VILLIAN SLIDER!

:: fires a blast from an oddly new-looking 1920s Style Death Ray in **Strinka** ’s direction ::

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**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/8 "2005-03-11T23:37:49Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> As a tri-dimensional motile intergalactic alien, I’m interested in the answers this thread generates to see how they correlate with my own experiences.

Sheesh. Can’t have one fucking thread on the SDMB without you fucking trimias coming in acting like you’re all special because of your deviant planar existences.

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**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\
**Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/9 "2005-03-11T23:39:37Z")

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I wish to perform brain-surgery-from-a-distance; I just don’t feel like getting out of my chair, and a craniotomy is messy business. I’m told movement in a 4th spatial dimension will allow me to meet my goal whilst satisfying the above conditions. You say higher-dimensional motility is within my grasp, if only I could understand.

I want to understand. I’m willing to put in the time (heh). Show me, oh Pmnimotile One, and I shall dupe my fellow humans (as if that were difficult) by telling them you are the One True God. Oodles of cash and all the weird sex you crave is but a sampling of the rewards that await you if you grant me this one request.

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/10 "2005-03-12T00:05:39Z")

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Ah yes, Brain Surgury From A Distance. Pretty simple, really, once you realize that the metabrain shared by all of your species is within your grasp–no tools necessar, and no mess at all once you’re inside the megacranium of the ur-human. Of course it is vitally important that you know exactly which part of the brain you wish to pester and what the desired outcome is. Once you’ve got that down, however, you will find that, upon your return, you will have all the cash you need and weird sex will define your very existence for the next 27 hours, which you can always slide back to whenever the mood strikes you and, since it’s a quantum world after all, will consist of an infinity of weirdness, different every time, and yet always familiar because you’ve always been there.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/11 "2005-03-12T00:10:09Z")

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> [@Marley23](#):
>
> Do you know a guy named Ben?

Anything, **Inigo**? I wasn’t kidding.

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**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/12 "2005-03-12T00:11:10Z")

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Does your race have bilateral symmetry, or do you wear F shirts?

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/13 "2005-03-12T00:14:46Z")

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> [@Marley23](#):
>
> Anything, **Inigo**? I wasn’t kidding.

(For reals? I know two guys named Ben. Different people, even. Why?)

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/14 "2005-03-12T00:18:45Z")

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> [@bluethree](#):
>
> Does your race have bilateral symmetry, or do you wear F shirts?

Bilateral symmetry only by chance, and not for long. It totally depends on where I(we) are(were) at the time of observation, and on the observer’s perspective, of course. Noticeable symmetry breaks down pretty quickly once you start looking at things from the inside.

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**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/15 "2005-03-12T00:18:47Z")

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So, if rather than being only intergalactic, you were a polydimensionally motile space alien, then you’d be a PMS Alien.

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/16 "2005-03-12T00:20:00Z")

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Exactly. And I’m divorcing that. For now.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/17 "2005-03-12T00:22:34Z")

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> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> (For reals? I know two guys named Ben. Different people, even. Why?)

I knew one who was something like a polydimensionally motile intergalactic alien and I wondered if you’d crossed paths.

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/18 "2005-03-12T00:33:27Z")

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> [@Marley23](#):
>
> I knew one who was something like a polydimensionally motile intergalactic alien and I wondered if you’d crossed paths.

:rolleyes:

Here. Hold this.

:: hands **Marley23** a bowl of petunias ::

:: casually urinates into an electrical outlet ::

:: **Marley23** drops the bowl of petunias and falls to the floor grasping own urethra ::

:: Bowl of petunias mutters something unintelligible and then shatters on the floor ::  
Get it? Outside of your measly 3 spatial dimensions we not only cross each other’s paths, we walk the same paths as the same individual. Don’t try that trick on your own, ok Marley? Not without the correct bowl of petunias anyway. 😉

Except for **Strinka**. **Strinka** ’s different. Filthy Slider…

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/19 "2005-03-12T00:37:02Z")

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> [@Inigo Montoya](#):
>
> Get it? Outside of your measly 3 spatial dimensions we not only cross each other’s paths, we walk the same paths as the same individual. Don’t try that trick on your own, ok Marley? Not without the correct bowl of petunias anyway. 😉

So you have many dimensions but have trouble with metaphors, eh? 😉

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-polydimensionally-motile-intergalactic-alien/294101/20 "2005-03-12T00:38:10Z")

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: ahem :

:smack:

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