# Ask the Psychic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953 "2006-05-01T14:20:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/21 "2006-05-01T16:34:55Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > You have me confused with a fortune teller. What’s the difference between a psychic and a fortune teller? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/22 "2006-05-01T16:41:10Z")
He’s a fake, folks. I can stump him. _cracks knuckles_ OK, Mr. Psychic: 1. What’s the square root of a million? 2. What are the lyrics to Louis Louis? 3. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? 4. What has it gots in its pocketses, precious? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/23 "2006-05-01T16:42:53Z")
Sorry, didn’t mean to imply those were the only options. Just the first things that came to mind. Personally, I don’t go for tarot either, I find candles or other fire in general to help me focus my mind better. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/24 "2006-05-01T16:49:47Z")
> [@fishbicycle](#): > > What are next week’s lottery numbers? Hey, that’s easy! For the MA Megabucks, the lottery numbers will be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, and 36. Don’t spend it all in one place. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/25 "2006-05-01T17:05:03Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > You know that thing I saw in the place the other day? Tell me why I didn’t do what I thought about doing with it, and was that a good idea not to? You changed your mind. Was it a good idea? What do you think? > [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Someone close to me recently passed or may pass soon. She is an older woman…possibly a relative or friend. She has either a T or an H in her name. She wants me to know that she’s fine and that I shouldn’t worry. > > Who is she? John Edward I ain’t. > [@fishbicycle](#): > > What are next week’s lottery numbers? If I knew them, you think I would share them with you? Wouldn’t that ruin my chances? 😉 > [@MissMossie](#): > > What’s the difference between a psychic and a fortune teller? I probably should’ve been more clear. It’s a distinction I make between the real and the fake. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/26 "2006-05-01T17:07:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > He’s a fake, folks. I can stump him. > > _cracks knuckles_ > > OK, Mr. Psychic: > > 1. What’s the square root of a million? 1,000. > [@](#): > > 1. What are the lyrics to Louis Louis? [http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/louielouielyrics.html](http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/louielouielyrics.html) > [@](#): > > 1. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Three. > [@](#): > > 1. What has it gots in its pocketses, precious? Either the One Ring or some pocket link. Possibly some change and maybe some breath mints. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/27 "2006-05-01T17:08:11Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > Sorry, didn’t mean to imply those were the only options. Just the first things that came to mind. Personally, I don’t go for tarot either, I find candles or other fire in general to help me focus my mind better. I like candle meditations. I agree, they do help to focus the mind. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/28 "2006-05-01T17:32:45Z")
Damn! You’re the real McCoy, alright. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/29 "2006-05-01T17:38:56Z")
How do you know you are psychic? Are you going to claim your $1,000,000 from the Randi Foundation? ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/30 "2006-05-01T17:45:06Z")
How many Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb? ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/31 "2006-05-01T18:11:56Z")
I’ve been trapped near the inner circle of fault. The Red Zone and the Green Zone of the Matrix, once divided, intersected while I wasn’t looking. A baker’s dozen of Synapse Rhythms distracted me from my battle with Werdna, and while I’ve holed up in the XYZZY area of Pequod Caverns, the Searchers know where I am, I can hear their motorcycles and birdsong overhead. Normally, I’d activate my Discipline of Celerity and teleport out of this mess, but the wormhole between Cyrodill and Vvarndfell doesn’t work anymore. And I haven’t even mentioned the Cyberdemon that’s guarding the blue key. Now, my question is… …does this have anything to do with the time my best friend Joey stole my lunch money in first grade? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/32 "2006-05-01T18:22:40Z")
> [@glee](#): > > Are you going to claim your $1,000,000 from the Randi Foundation? Nope. I’m a firm believer in not using one’s powers for personal gain. > [@Kotick](#): > > How many Buddhists does it take to change a lightbulb? I suppose that would depend on how many ohms they can chant. (Okay, that’s lame, but I don’t remember the punchline to that one.) > [@KGS](#): > > I’ve been trapped near the inner circle of fault. The Red Zone and the Green Zone of the Matrix, once divided, intersected while I wasn’t looking. A baker’s dozen of Synapse Rhythms distracted me from my battle with Werdna, and while I’ve holed up in the XYZZY area of Pequod Caverns, the Searchers know where I am, I can hear their motorcycles and birdsong overhead. > > Normally, I’d activate my Discipline of Celerity and teleport out of this mess, but the wormhole between Cyrodill and Vvarndfell doesn’t work anymore. And I haven’t even mentioned the Cyberdemon that’s guarding the blue key. Now, my question is… > > …does this have anything to do with the time my best friend Joey stole my lunch money in first grade? Indeed, it does. His guilt over having stolen from his best friend has caused his greatest fears to manifest themselves, hence the cyberdemon. The only way to vanquish the demon and capture the blue key is for you to let go of the anger and hatred you’ve harbored against him since the incident. Once he truly believes all is forgiven, you will find the path to the blue key open. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/33 "2006-05-01T18:30:15Z")
The Swedish Swimsuit Team is here. They’re all horny and I’m the only man around. I have a couple of hours to kill. What should I do? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/34 "2006-05-01T18:38:21Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > The Swedish Swimsuit Team is here. They’re all horny and I’m the only man around. I have a couple of hours to kill. > > What should I do? Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/35 "2006-05-01T18:49:05Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers? Sorry. Allow me to clarify: _Which_ should I do _first_? Inga or Hanna? ---
**Author:** ![lucasthegray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@lucasthegray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lucasthegray)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/36 "2006-05-01T19:41:39Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Nope. I’m a firm believer in not using one’s powers for personal gain. Okay, then claim the $1,000,000 and give it to your favorite charity. Couldn’t they use the million bucks? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/37 "2006-05-01T19:50:28Z")
> [@lucasthegray](#): > > Okay, then claim the $1,000,000 and give it to your favorite charity. Couldn’t they use the million bucks? I could. Inga and Hanna have expensive tastes. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/38 "2006-05-01T19:57:02Z")
What is it about you that convinces you that you are psychic? Specifically, what abilities do you have? I second **lucasthegray’s** comment. Surely someone somewhere could benefit from the million. Those folks over in Darfur could use all the help they can get. I might go so far as to suggest that if you can easily and legally get your hands on a million dollars that you have no use for, there might be some moral obligation attached to doing so. At the very least, it would be a good thing to do. Passing the JREF challenge would be a big deal in the scientific community as well. You might well usher in a new and wonderful era in human development. Why do you want to keep this for yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/39 "2006-05-01T20:01:44Z")
I’m on my college campus. What unexpected thing just happened to me? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953/40 "2006-05-01T20:10:03Z")
> [@fetus](#): > > I’m on my college campus. What unexpected thing just happened to me? You posted a question to a supposed psychic. Gack! Sorry, **Lord Ashtar**. Didn’t mean to step on your toes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-psychic/354953.md?page=3)