# Ask the Senior Obama Campaign Aide **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [February 25, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985 "2012-02-25T19:10:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/41 "2012-02-28T22:05:28Z")
According to Robert Caro’s biography of Lyndon Johnson, early in his political careeer, LBJ asked his campaign manager to start the rumor that Johnson’s opponent had had caral relations with a sow. The manager reportedly said, “Lyndon! You can’t call the guy a pig fucker and expect it to stick!” LBJ’s reply was, “I don’t want to prove it. I just want to make the son of a bitch deny it!” Assuming Romney is the nominee, what sort of animal do you plan to accuse him of having carnal relations with? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/42 "2012-02-29T02:05:03Z")
One more thing, Mister Senior Campaign Aide, don’t try to weasel out of these questions by playing the Race Card. I get along with Negroes just fine, thank you. When I was at the Citadel, one of my best pals was Leon Jenkins, a colored boy about fifty years old. He used to mow the lawn, clean the toilets, take out the trash, that sort of thing. Slip him a twenty, and he’d put on some red lipstick, and give you the best hummer you ever had. He used to call us “macadamias” cause we were white and had small nuts. Damn! If my good Christian wife could give me a hummer like that once in a while, I wouldn’t have to molest interns. So you Obamunists keep all that racial stuff to yourselves. We don’t have time for it. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/43 "2012-02-29T02:11:44Z")
> [@Labdad](#): > > Assuming Romney is the nominee, what sort of animal do you plan to accuse him of having carnal relations with? Let’s see, what’s the most bland, boring thing on four legs? A basset hound? A sloth? ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/44 "2012-02-29T03:00:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Let’s see, what’s the most bland, boring thing on four legs? an IKEA coffee table. But that wouldn’t be bestiality for Romney, that’d be masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/45 "2012-02-29T03:56:47Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > Where do you stand on the political spectrum? Progressive? Moderate? Reagan Republican, like the President? I’m a progressive Democrat. On the record, I agree with the President completely on every issue. Off the record, I agree with him about 90% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/46 "2012-02-29T03:57:58Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Be honest: Well before August, Biden’s going to a farm upstate, isn’t he? If it were up to me, off the record (“OTR” hereafter), yes. He’s been a disaster as VP. He only seems to be in the news when he says something stoopid and we all have to scramble to explain what he really meant to say. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/47 "2012-02-29T03:59:03Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > Doesn’t Obama have more than one senior campaign aide? > > If so, will you be the first to confirm that Obama has _ **aides** _? :eek: He’s got many senior campaign aides. I’m the only Doper that I know of. Your second question isn’t worth wasting electrons on. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/48 "2012-02-29T04:00:34Z")
> [@Labdad](#): > > According to Robert Caro’s biography of Lyndon Johnson, early in his political careeer, LBJ asked his campaign manager to start the rumor that Johnson’s opponent had had car[n]al relations with a sow. The manager reportedly said, “Lyndon! You can’t call the guy a pig fucker and expect it to stick!” LBJ’s reply was, “I don’t want to prove it. I just want to make the son of a bitch deny it!” > > Assuming Romney is the nominee, what sort of animal do you plan to accuse him of having carnal relations with? The 44th President isn’t the 36th, and thank God for that. This issue won’t be coming up. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/49 "2012-02-29T04:39:28Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I’m a progressive Democrat. On the record, I agree with the President completely on every issue. Off the record, I agree with him about 90% of the time. Now sir, you are no progressive at all if you agree with Obama 90 percent of the time. He has been a shameless tool for the big banks, just as much as the lowliest Republican, shoving them trillions in bailouts with no strings attached, and ignoring all the fraud that went down. Obama has done nothing to lessen the gap between rich and poor in the US, he has been the 1 percent’s man as President. I was going to ask what kind of hypocrisy you had to indulge in as an Obama campaign manager, what kind of shabby deals you have to make with your conscience to be an Obama campaigner, but I see you are simply engaging in a massive case of cognitive dissonance. Question answered! ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/50 "2012-02-29T06:32:53Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > Doesn’t Obama have more than one senior campaign aide? > > If so, will you be the first to confirm that Obama has _ **aides** _? :eek: Very likely. After all, his father was a _homo sapiens!_ :eek: And his mother could have been a _thespian!_ ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/51 "2012-02-29T14:23:54Z")
Does Obama hire people who naturally have no sense of humor or is it just forcibly removed from you somewhere on the campaign trail? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/52 "2012-02-29T15:08:39Z")
Axelrod tells all the jokes around here. I do my best to keep up. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/53 "2012-02-29T18:21:28Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Does Obama hire people who naturally have no sense of humor or is it just forcibly removed from you somewhere on the campaign trail? The latter, always, I should think. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/54 "2012-02-29T20:09:47Z")
Which particular Koran will Obama be sworn in on if he wins? ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/55 "2012-02-29T20:14:12Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Which particular Koran will Obama be sworn in on if he wins? Jefferson’s Koran, I’d presume. (well, maybe not Obama, but when we get our first openly Muslim Prez I suspect that’s what he’ll use). Obama will be sworn in on a copy of the Necronomicon concealed in a Bible’s binding. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/56 "2012-02-29T21:33:15Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Jefferson’s Koran, I’d presume. (well, maybe not Obama, but when we get our first openly Muslim Prez I suspect that’s what he’ll use). Obama will be sworn in on a copy of the Necronomicon concealed in a Bible’s binding. You peeked! No, it’ll probably be the Lincoln Bible again, same as in 2009, if we’re lucky. ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/57 "2012-03-02T02:11:31Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > **Always** Ecstasy before meth! Why, where wuz you raised?! You know the old saying: “X and then Meth: sudden death; Meth and then ecstasy: no telling what the effects could be.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/58 "2012-03-02T16:41:04Z")
Romney’s gaffes are accumulating almost as fast as his policy shifts: [http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/02/politics/romney-gaffes/index.html?hpt=hp\_t3](http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/02/politics/romney-gaffes/index.html?hpt=hp_t3) ---
**Author:** ![danceir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@danceir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceir)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2012, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/59 "2012-03-03T02:16:24Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > OK, I’m not really, but I’m willing to pretend. > > So… my White House gig was fun, but now it’s good to be back in Chicago, working on the reelect. Romney and Santorum are busily tearing each other down, the economy is improving a bit, the President’s numbers are up, and at this point things are looking pretty good for November (not that there are any guarantees, of course). > > What’s on your mind? If Mr. Obama is in for four more years at what point could we stop calling it the white house? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985/60 "2012-03-03T03:18:56Z")
How about never? Does never work for you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-senior-obama-campaign-aide/613985.md?page=4)