# Ask the "straight" guy **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 10, 2000, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820 "2000-03-10T15:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/41 "2000-03-10T20:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by pashley: > > Duh, and I said what are the stats for homos molesting boys? Read better yourself! I said - less than 7%. You have yet to prove to me that I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable letting those sick heterosexual men anywhere near my daughter. > [@](#): > > You can’t watch a night of TV without a reference to sex. Yeah, you heterosexuals really are obsessed with it. > [@](#): > > And we don’t care so much about what goes on in your bedroom… Really? Then could you please explain the existence of sodomy laws to me, then? Yes, I’m aware of all those “findings”. What you don’t know is that the APA caved into the liberal gay agenda on the re-definition. Psychologists can’t even suggest nowadays that Homosexuality can be treated, lest they be chastised. Even reparitive therapy, which the militant gay agenda won’t tolerate, is under attack. [/QUOTE] Wow, pretty strong accusations - not only are you claiming to be more knowledgable than the American Psychological Association and every other major mental health authority in the United States (let alone the rest of the world), but you’ve got some insider info on the subjugation of said organizations. Tell me, do you hoarde guns in your basement? > [@](#): > > What’s wrong with a homosexual, who’s suffering in his sexuality, wanting to get help? Nothing, exept that any reputable psychologist will tell him he needs to work on self-acceptance rather than changing the very nature of his biology. That kind of help is good help. > [@](#): > > Esprix wrote: Oh, you mean heterosexual relationships are based solely on sexual intercourse and procreation? Wow, they’re more shallow than I thought - how sad for them! > > Pashley wrote: No, but homosexual ones are. But your defense of heterosexuality seems to rest entirely upon some biological sexual/procreational cornerstone - seems pretty clear-cut to me that that is all you’re concerned about (which also contradicts what you said earlier about not approving the flaunting of your heterosexual lifestyle). My, you’re just full of contradictions. > [@](#): > > It’s well known the homosexual lifestyle is inherently selfish and self-gratifying. It is based on narcissism and self-obsession. The argument of “I have no choice” is pure nonsense. Even in gay society monogamy is NOT the norm, it is the exception. Commitment is not a word included in homosexual vernacular, yet sanctioned unions are now at the top of their agenda along with the right to have children. [ul][li]You seem to know an awful lot about homosexuals. Are you one yourself? Do you know any?[/li][li]I thought you were going to use this thread to defend your sexually-obsessed, morally-questionable heterosexual tendencies, not your homosexual ones?[/li][li]You have no authority to speak of the nature of homosexual relationships as you have never been in one (as far as we know). All of my relationships have been based on love, respect and friendship. Oh, and monogamy, too.[/li][li]You say commitment isn’t in our vocabulary - then why are we fighting so hard for domestic partnerships and same-sex marriages? Once again, you contradict yourself. Seriously, you should get that looked at.[/li][li]Last time I checked, I maintain the biology to have children - I could adopt, or artificially inseminate a woman, and that child would still be mine, biologically. And as far as I know, the government hasn’t yet gotten around to legislating procreation - I can do it any time I like, and raise that child any way I like. And, actually, this actually works alongside your argument for procreation among heterosexuals, so I guess we are just the same, aren’t we?[/ul][/li] Wow, I’m learning so much about your mysteriously deviant lifestyle - it’s shocking, yet fascinating! It must be so hard to live your life this way - I hope someday you can change for the better. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/42 "2000-03-10T20:12:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by cleosia: > > Oh, and NAMBLA really isn’t about child molesting. [sarcasm] They just want to revive the traditional Greek way of life. [/sarcasm] Oh, that wasn’t even remotely funny… ☹ Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/43 "2000-03-10T20:15:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by pashley: > > It was a joke, lighten up. Would you tell the same joke if it were derogatory towards women? Blacks? Jews? Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/44 "2000-03-10T20:18:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by pashley: > > I’ll go on record as saying that I don’t believe that position, that gays necessarily are more prone to molesting boys. > > It’s sad it happens at all. I HOPE we all agree on that at least. Wait, Pashley, you’re not going to let the facts stand in the way of your beliefs, are you? If you can accept this, then why can’t you accept the experts’ opinions on the nature of homosexuality not being a choice? Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/45 "2000-03-10T20:20:00Z")
resevoirdog: > [@](#): > > "If you believe that homosexuality is a sin, you believe that homosexuals are going to hell. If you hate homosexuals, why are you trying to save them? " This is the third time I’ve said it. I don’t hate the person, I hate the sin. I ask them to just take a look at the behavior. If someone where cutting their arm mindlessly with a razor blade, would you not try to stop them, or at least question them? [qutoe]“If your God exists, and He truly judges the souls of His people based upon goodness, purity, kindness, and love, you will likely find yourself in the very place to which you would like these others condemned, while those you hate and fear will live forever in happiness.” [/quote] God is a loving God, but a just God. Ultimately God will judge me and everyone else. I don’t have any fears. > [@](#): > > "In other words : I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL. And you call ME hateful? I think you’re angry because I somehow have threatened you. Are you subconciously validating me, thus causing conflict in your psyche between what you do, and what you know you shouldn’t do? That’s your problem, pal.You’re acting like a spoiled brat. * * * Patrick Ashley ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ -Edmund Burke ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/46 "2000-03-10T20:20:00Z")
resevoirdog: > [@](#): > > "If you believe that homosexuality is a sin, you believe that homosexuals are going to hell. If you hate homosexuals, why are you trying to save them? " This is the third time I’ve said it. I don’t hate the person, I hate the sin. I ask them to just take a look at the behavior. If someone where cutting their arm mindlessly with a razor blade, would you not try to stop them, or at least question them? [qutoe]“If your God exists, and He truly judges the souls of His people based upon goodness, purity, kindness, and love, you will likely find yourself in the very place to which you would like these others condemned, while those you hate and fear will live forever in happiness.” [/quote] God is a loving God, but a just God. Ultimately God will judge me and everyone else. I don’t have any fears. > [@](#): > > "In other words : I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL. And you call ME hateful? I think you’re angry because I somehow have threatened you. Are you subconciously validating me, thus causing conflict in your psyche between what you do, and what you know you shouldn’t do? That’s your problem, pal.You’re acting like a spoiled brat. * * * Patrick Ashley ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ -Edmund Burke ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/47 "2000-03-10T20:25:00Z")
Here’s something that was sent to me. I will pre-emptively deny that I made it up, I didn’t. [qutoe] I just read letters on your web site relating to the question of homosexuality. I would like to add my experience on the subject, as I am one of the silent minority who made choices in my life in direct opposition to the homosexual agenda. I want to challenge the myth that you are born one way the other And that there is nothing you can do about it. When I was 16 years old I became sexually involved with my best friend (I am female) and this relationship lasted for about a year. Having been raised in a moral, church-going family, I knew in my heart and mind that what I was doing was wrong. Because I was acting in direct opposition to my own religious beliefs, I was miserable. I was the one who terminated the relationship and have CHOSEN to refrain from homosexual acts for the past 25 years. I cannot say that I don’t have feelings or desires that present themselves in that direction sometimes, but I choose not to act on them because I don’t believe I am here on this earth to fulfill my every sexual desire. In fact, one of the reasons I am here is to learn how to control unrighteous urges that would destroy my own happiness or that of others. I have been happily married for over 10 years and have a family. I refuse to allow the past to dictate who I am now. I am whomever I choose to be, and I choose to live a moral, righteous life and be my kid’s mom. Thanks for standing up for the family. R.M. [/quote] * * * Patrick Ashley ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ -Edmund Burke ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/48 "2000-03-10T20:28:00Z")
{sigh} (Please note I don’t do this often…) Reservoir, I take exception to your words. As much as I disagree with Pashley and other like-minded anti-homosexual Christians, not only do I understand _why_ they do what they do and feel as they do, but I would certainly never wish them eternal damnation by their, my or any other God. The Bible calls upon Christians to spread the word of Salvation. In order to obtain Salvaation, the sinner has to be aware that what they do is sinful, repent, and accept Jesus as their Savior. It is not enough to accept that another person does not believe in Christ - they must do their utmost to persuade that person that they are wrong not to, for the very reason that if they don’t, they will end up in Hell. In their mind, they really _do_ care for the sinner, because they _don’t_ want them to end up in Hell. This is the nature of faith. Additionally, if a Christian sees someone committing sin and doesn’t try to do something about it, their God sees that in itself as a sin, and for that alone they could end up in Hell. No Christian’s heart could fill with joy knowing that they didn’t do their best to save someone from eternal damnation. Christianity, as oxymoronic as it sounds, does **not** mean being in a state of moral superiority. Now, do I agree with this theology? No - I think God would be angrier with people who held hate in their hearts and spread unhappiness in life. Then again, my God also forgives everyone, no matter what they’ve done, and I hope that I will be able to someday, too. BTW, Orion’s a different story - he’s not doing anything in the name of his religion or Jesus, he’s just doing it because he’s a bigot. Him, he’s on his own. Now I thought this was a thread about heterosexuality? 🙂 Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/49 "2000-03-10T20:29:00Z")
…and this one: > [@](#): > > I am “ex-gay” for lack of a better term. I’ve thought several times about writing to you, and your recent comments regarding pedophilia, the APA and contingent issues has encouraged me. > > I had always felt “that way”. I grew up and knew that something was different. I felt somehow unique from other boys. This was not something I had planned or chosen. I was deeply troubled. Was God unjust or was religion a farce? > > I sought the help of different therapists and counselors. To no avail. My homosexual orientation seemed constant and no one seemed able to help me. I turned more fervently to God for answers. > > Finally one day I was led to a group of men who were seeking to heal themselves of homosexual tendencies. This group used materials provided by NARTH and other support groups from around the nation. I attended a conference they had sponsored. To my astonishment, the therapists and men actually had answers. As a quiet listener I was able to relate with everything they discussed. I became keenly aware of hidden issues underlying my homosexual tendencies. The root became clear. > > Soon I was able to find a counselor who had studied NARTH’S literature. The recovery process was slow and gradual. I was surprised that much of therapy was not a direct attempt to change the orientation. In fact, as I continued through the process a gentle shift in orientation occurred all on its own. Homosexual tendencies slowly diminished as heterosexual one replaced them. > > Ten years later I am a married man with two beautiful children. My wife knows my past and has supported my recovery process. “Born that way”, is a lie. **When the APA removed homosexualty from the DSM for political reasons, they did a great injustice to us. By making therapy politically incorrect, those of us who would benefit from it are less likely to receive it.** I thank God for those who have helped me know the truth and apply it in my life. I’m also grateful for the men who shared their stories with me and gave me hope. Thousands of men have changed. Most of the public is unaware of the many groups dedicated to helping. They include such organizations as NARTH, Evergreen, Exodus, Living Waters, Desert Stream Ministries, Freedom & Recovery, Homosexuality Anonymous, or the International Healing Foundation. > > Suddenly the adage “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free,” has new meaning for me. Because I did not succumb to political correctness, I learned the truth about homosexuality. Consequently, I have been freed of its awful tentacles. > > Sincerely, > > S.A. Ok, do i need to provide anymore testimonials from former homosexuals that “couldn’t change their biology?” * * * Patrick Ashley ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ -Edmund Burke ---
**Author:** ![Sake\_Samurai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sake\_Samurai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sake_Samurai)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/50 "2000-03-10T20:33:00Z")
pashley, so you cut me to the quick? You saw through my thin subterfuge and raised the veil of lies and confusion that was festering beneath my mask of religious questing and moral isolation! I am kidding no one now, am I? But know this, pashley! I know you as well, and your fell masquerade! There is nothing ‘straight’ about you. You are as crooked as the sinners in Sodom and as twisted as Christ’s Betrayer! Your ignorance and intolerance makes you ugly in the eyes of God. Even through a continent seperates us, I can hear the serpent in your voice as surely as he was in mine ear. I cast you out and leave you to die with the swine in the Final Judgement. * * * Yet to be reconciled with the reality of the dark for a moment, I go on wandering from dream to dream. ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/51 "2000-03-10T20:40:00Z")
You guys are right. I really had no business saying those things, as I am not a religious person, and I should have known better. I felt angry, and allowed it to dictate my word choice – that is my problem. Apologies all around. Allow me to rephrase: I believe that there is nothing inherently wrong about homosexuality, and that those that nurture fear and the hatred that fear creates are those that need help. I truly bear no ill will toward anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/52 "2000-03-10T20:40:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I was the one who terminated the relationship and have CHOSEN to refrain from homosexual acts for the past 25 years. I cannot say that I don’t have feelings or desires that present themselves in that direction sometimes, but I choose not to act on them because I don’t believe I am here on this earth to fulfill my every sexual desire. This is hardly news, pashley - we’ve been talking with Flinx about this for months now. I will point out that this person freely admits that her sexual _orientation_ has not changed, only her sexual _behavior_ has. If I _really really_ wanted to, I could have sex with a woman, too (yuck) - it wouldn’t make me any less homosexual. I would also maintain that this person is most likely bisexual to a greater or lesser extent. > [@](#): > > I have been happily married for over 10 years and have a family. I refuse to allow the past to dictate who I am now. I am whomever I choose to be, and I choose to live a moral, righteous life and be my kid’s mom. Thanks for standing up for the family. I support every person’s right to live whatever life they choose to live, and if she feels this was the right thing to do for her, then more power to her. The important thing, tho, is that even if I did disagree with her, I don’t think I would go out of my way to not only beat her over the head with my disapproval, but I wouldn’t try to pass laws that rate her second-class or deny her equal rights. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/53 "2000-03-10T20:42:00Z")
Esprix: Wow, you really surprised me, happily with that last post. Seriously. You got it right. I don’t mean to beat on you, brother. I just like to point out things when I see them, that’s all. If you want to continue doing what you are doing, well, there is not much I can do, and that’s that. Perhaps we should reach out hands, and cool it? 🙂 * * * Patrick Ashley ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ -Edmund Burke ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/54 "2000-03-10T20:46:00Z")
Esprix, I meant the post before the one you just posted, we posted close together, I guess. I’m glad to see ResevoirDog also chilling out. I guess the Holy Spirit is whipping all of us into compliance! I think I’m about done with this thread. (I heard all that rejoicing! That’s not polite!) 😃 * * * Patrick Ashley ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ -Edmund Burke ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/55 "2000-03-10T20:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by pashley: > > Ok, do i need to provide anymore testimonials from former homosexuals that "couldn’t change their biology? Pashley, this is a mastrabatorial endeavour - for every one ex-gay testimonial you post, I can post you ten **ex** -ex-gay ones, and a hundred from happy, healthy, productive homosexuals. You’re still tilting at windmills. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/56 "2000-03-10T20:52:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by pashley: > > Wow, you really surprised me, happily with that last post. Seriously. You got it right. I don’t mean to beat on you, brother. I just like to point out things when I see them, that’s all. If you want to continue doing what you are doing, well, there is not much I can do, and that’s that. I do have one question for you, though. Since we know that every man is a sinner, and every man sins, shouldn’t you be more concerned about cleaning up your own sins than worrying about forcing someone else to clean up theirs? Not to be too trite, but the old “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” comes to mind. (And I don’t mean this to be inflammatory - it’s one thing to believe something and express that belief to others, but you really do seem to be virulent in your righteousness.) > [@](#): > > Perhaps we should reach out hands, and cool it? 🙂 Personally, I never really held any grudge against you, except when you patently ignore things that are posted directly to you. But, in the spirit, sure - I have no beef with ya. {shakes hands} Esprix, who finds it hard being a UU sometimes… * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/57 "2000-03-10T20:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I do have one question for you, though. Since we know that every man is a sinner, and every man sins, shouldn’t you be more concerned about cleaning up your own sins than worrying about forcing someone else to clean up theirs? Not to be too trite, but the old “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” comes to mind. (And I don’t mean this to be inflammatory - it’s one thing to believe something and express that belief to others, but you really do seem to be virulent in your righteousness.) Perhaps, I will take this under advisement. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to shut my mouth when i see someone doing something wrong (like slapping a 4 year old in the face, hard). ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/58 "2000-03-10T21:03:00Z")
Pashley, Please don’t leave yet…I haven’t had my many questions about straight men answered. The first was “why do men rape?” The second is “why are so many straight men so concerned about other person’s sex life (straight or gay, male or female)?” The third is “why do so many straight men, who profess disgust at gay behavior, always ask us women if we have a girlfriend who might be interested in a threesome?” The forth is “why do so many striaght men, who profess disgust at gay behavior, want to have anal sex with their wives/girlfriends?” (These last two are so common that they are a “women’s lockerroom” joke). ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/59 "2000-03-10T21:17:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by pashley: > > I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to shut my mouth when i see someone doing something wrong (like slapping a 4 year old in the face, hard). Well, I wouldn’t expect you to, but, although in a Christian’s eyes one sin is very much equal to another, I would hazard to say that there is a difference - there is measurable, physical abuse going on in the hitting of a small child (who no doubt did not consent to being smacked), whereas a homosexual relationship is only _perceived to be sinful_ by you, and not to the willing participants. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![pashley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pashley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pashley)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820/60 "2000-03-10T21:31:00Z")
Dangerosa: > [@](#): > > The first was “why do men rape?” Why? I’m not a expert on that issue, sorry, but my understanding is, it’s a power issue, more than a sexual issue. Seems plausible. > [@](#): > > "The second is “why are so many straight men so concerned about other person’s sex life (straight or gay, male or female)?” I think sex, for males in general, is a prime concern, a preoccupation. I think psychology has shown that. If you are asking more specifically why they focus on orientation, I, as a guy, don’t see much of a difference between gals and guys on that. They both seem to focus on the person’s orientation equally. > [@](#): > > "The third is “why do so many straight men, who profess disgust at gay behavior, always ask us women if we have a girlfriend who might be interested in a threesome?” I think they profess disgust at gay behavior, not lesbian, unless it’s ugly lesbians. I think the cause of the fascination with the beautiful lesbian fantasy you might be referring to is due to porn. You see a lot of that there. You NEVER see ugly lesbians in porn, even average looking lesbians are kinda rare, from what i’ve seen. Personally, I think it’s exciting, on a superficial level, but deep down, I want my wife and I to be alone. Some things should stay in the fantasy realm. I also believe that women have desires to be with other women, moreso then men do. I don’t have any stats on that, just a personal feeling. > [@](#): > > "The forth is “why do so many striaght men, who profess disgust at gay behavior, want to have anal sex with their wives/girlfriends?” I don’t see many guys into that either. I’ve tried it, didn’t really like it (neither did she!). Again, I think alot of that comes from porn. Alot of junk comes from porn, I believe. And i’d venture that about 80% of heterosexual males between 18 and 40 look at it on a weekly basis, if not every other day. We guys are very visual… * * * Patrick Ashley ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ -Edmund Burke [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-guy/17820.md?page=4)