# Ask the straight, white, married, employed guy **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [April 18, 2001, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428 "2001-04-18T14:41:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/41 "2001-04-22T06:36:33Z")
One Cell wrote: > [@](#): > > If you want to find a wife, there are hundreds of outfits that cater to SMEs looking to add a W to their title. Now **that** would be pretty impressive! I think the only person who’s succeeded in adding a W to their title thus far is Michael Jackson. 😉 (But seriously, folks, I _have_ looked into on-line dating services. And off-line dating services, for that matter. Part of the problem is I live in the Silicon Valley, which has a guy-to-gal ratio of, oh, around 75000 to 1.) ---
**Author:** ![One\_Cell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@One\_Cell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_Cell)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/42 "2001-04-22T09:21:47Z")
**Elvis:** You asked \*\* And how is it that you’re having so much more fun with your own chosen lifestyle that you’re spending Saturday night cruising Internet message boards? Where’s that “lively and fun non-SWME party” you mentioned? \*\* The answer is that she is right now in the bathroom preparing her pussy to make love, and that is the only time I have to even bother to talk to losers like you. Hey, let’s get back to the OP’s point. The OP challenged anyone to ask him a question, and I did. What is your two cents at the middle of all this? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/43 "2001-04-22T09:37:13Z")
Shouldn’t this thread be titled: Ask The Patriarchal Oppressor? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/44 "2001-04-22T15:30:07Z")
> [@](#): > > Hey, let’s get back to the OP’s point. The OP challenged anyone to ask him a question, and I did. What is your two cents at the middle of all this? Well, my two cents, though I’m not a SWME is that your question isn’t worthy of discussion, as it depends on assumptions that are wrong, and you’re being insulting as well. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/45 "2001-04-22T15:55:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > \*\*Shouldn’t this thread be titled: Ask The Patriarchal Oppressor? 😉 \*\* That one made me inhale my nicotine gum. ---
**Author:** ![One\_Cell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@One\_Cell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_Cell)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/46 "2001-04-23T01:22:37Z")
**Elvis:** First of all, I’d like to apologize if I inadvertently called the SWME people a bunch of losers. I was too drunk when I said that, and I am sorry if it insulted anyone. But please give me a credit that, at least, I was cruising the Internet rather than driving under influence. Now that I have some of my faculties back together, I’d like to answer your rightful question: What are YOUR attributes that make you so special and fascinating to others? 1- I do not believe I am an egocentric. Most SWMEs I’ve met seem to be proud of the fact that they sold their high-tech NASDAQ stocks when it was at 5,000 and diverted their portfolio into bonds or money market funds. They seem to have contempt for those who were not as “smart”, let alone us little non-SWMEs who were never interested nor could afford to buy stocks during the boom years. Does that mean I am envious of the SWMEs? Hell, no. They have bigger problems to face next time when they won’t be so lucky. 2- When I give a party or go to someone else’s party, I try to find out who is going to be there and what are their tastes in music, food, favorite subjects, etc. In preparation for the occasion, I spend tens of hours taping or burning a custom-built CD as background music, or preparing delicacies made to the taste of that specific audience. Most SWME’s I know, would think that a mere bottle of Mois-Chandon champagne would suffice. 3- If the party is at my place, there are candles and flowers galore, let alone the custom-built music for dance, and the food-made-to-the taste of-invitees and intellectually stimulating topics for discussion. If I cannot afford that, everyone will be at the beach or the local lake with firewood, and sandwiches from your local Submarine franchise. But, I’d make sure that there is a heater canister for that thin little lady who is an interesting personality , but gets cold easily. Most SWME’s I know, either think that everyone is responsible for their own wellness, or at most, the SWME is merely prepared to pay the bill. They simply don’t give a shit about other people’s special needs, let alone the needs of Africa. 4- So, SWME’s are not materialistic? If they are not, who is? One of the nice attributes of non-SWME’s is that they are generally free – mentally. Most SWMEs are not even aware why $300 billion of everyone’s tax dollars in the US are going to defense (to serve what purpose?). If it is to get rid of Saddam Hussein, Bin-Lada, Ayatollah Khamanei, or Gaddafy, we could hit them with our Precision Weapons guided by satellites at any second. It makes me shiver to see the absolute ignorance of the SWME’s about the world affairs. And though, the same ass-holes are the board members of the fortune 500 corporations in the United States and other “1st world” countries. 5- And, of course, there is that God and religion thing. I believe the majority of the SWMEs are either into that , or they like to see the none-SWMEs getting busy with that shit. After all, the M in SWME stands for marriage. And here is the latest logic statement from deductive science: 1. Marriage is love. 2. Love is blind. 3. Marriage is an institution. Therefore : Marriage is an institution for the blind." And there goes my five attributes. And I have not even touched the subject of Unions in giant corporations nor the E in SWME. Please read the recently published book: White Color Sweat Shops. Now, what are your attributes? ---
**Author:** ![Cue017](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cue017](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cue017)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/47 "2001-04-23T02:01:34Z")
Are you happy? ---
**Author:** ![One\_Cell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@One\_Cell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_Cell)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/48 "2001-04-23T02:07:00Z")
I am happy only when I do my best to make other people happy ---
**Author:** ![Cue017](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cue017](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cue017)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/49 "2001-04-23T05:17:19Z")
Insufficient answer. Again. Are you happy? ---
**Author:** ![One\_Cell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@One\_Cell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_Cell)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/50 "2001-04-23T07:28:57Z")
Happiness is something you find out about, after you have experienced it. There is no state of happiness at the time it happens, unless you are fornicating or “you’re high” (fucked?) I do not understand your insistence on the definition of “happiness” as opposed to the point: Debating the OP. Are you a mere hijacker on some kind of a dope? (Like I was, when I insulted the OP) You really should not be acknowledged as a legitimate participant in this debate, simply because you have nothing to say or add to the OP Now, since you have been a pest, insulting and hijacking further the OP, here is an illustration of happiness: If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap If you want happiness for a day, go for a picnic If you want happiness for a week, go on a vacation If you want happiness for a month, get married If you want happiness for a year, inherit wealth And if you want to know what happiness is beyond a year, you are in the wrong place. We have problems to solve – And we have no time for inquiring minds that are here with nothing to contribute except a mere “wish to know”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Pinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dr.Pinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Pinky)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/51 "2001-04-23T07:51:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lemur866 \* > \*\*You misunderstood. I have no problem with childless people getting married, I don’t have any kids myself. What I can’t understand are the people who live together, share finances and have kids together, and yet feel getting married is too much of a commitment. > > What’s up with that? \*\* Maybe they have had a bad experience with marriage in the past and would rather dog paddle through a swimming pool full of razor blades than do that again. Just a guess. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/52 "2001-04-23T19:56:49Z")
The specific needs of the SWME are not usually addressed because, in our culture, they are taken as the implied basline for any discussion of any other group. So quit whining: your privileges are acknowledged implicitly in any SDMB thread about oppression or racism or inequality or discrepancy of opportunity, etc. In any case, I have my feet in two different camps: I’m “straight appearing,” white, and employed. So I feel somewhat qualified to chime in in threads from either perspective. In addition, gay people are more qualified to contribute to discussions about the straight world because we live in the straight world; whereas very, very few straight people live in a predominantly gay world. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/53 "2001-04-23T23:25:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goboy \* > > > [@](#): > > > > quote: > > But I’m willing to bet you’ve oppressed others > > > > Where did this come from? I don’t think you’re being t&c here, and since smith was kiddin’around, why the sudden attack? > > That’s not an attack, that’s just being snide. Trust me, if I were to attack, msmith would know it. Uh oh. I better get out of here then. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goboy \* > The tone of his post semed to suggest that a) only Straight White Guys With Jobs work hard for a good life and b)that trying to redress racism and discrimination are just “bitching and moaning.” I don’t think he has any idea of the income divide in this country. Changed my mind. I’m back Goboy. I am fully aware of the income devide in this country. YOU try driving around in last years SUV while all your friends are driving brand new Porsches! Since the title of this thread is “ask the white guy” and not “bitch about all the inequalities in life”, I’ll try to answer some of your questions. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goboy \* > If you think that gay people don’t watch “Sex in the City” > and “Friends,” I envy your innocence. I’m sure they do. It’s just that the shows do not have any gay main characters. Sex in the City does have several reoccuring gay characters and is a little less conservative than Friends. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goboy \* > And why do you say, "Fortunately, there is no gay counterpart to ‘The Sopranos’?"Sounds like somebody’s prejudices are coming out. Because I don’t want to hear uncle Pussy talking about how “I was bangin’ dis dude in da ass last night”. As far as I know, the Mafia isn’t really an equal opportunity employer. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goboy \* > What do you have against Straight Black People With Jobs or > Gay White People With Jobs or Straight White Ex-Dotcommers Looking For A Job? I don’t personally know any SBPWJ’s so I can’t comment one way or the other. I don’t particularly care about gay people one way or the other. I just don’t want their gayness in my face any more than the gals at work want me throwing my sexual exploits in their face. I don’t particularly like dot-commers. Anyone who works 120 hours a week for little pay and useless stock options at a company that should never been formed in the first place deserves to be broke and unemployed if they spend those options on $1 m homes and cars before the options are exercised. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/54 "2001-04-24T00:37:14Z")
Dr.Pinky wrote: > [@](#): > > Maybe they have had a bad experience with marriage in the past and would rather dog paddle through a swimming pool full of razor blades than do that again. _I’d rather dive Into a swimming pool Filled with double-edged razor blades Than spend … one more minute … with you._ – Weird Al Yankovic, “One More Minute” ---
**Author:** ![Cue017](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cue017](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cue017)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/55 "2001-04-24T01:30:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Now, since you have been a pest, insulting and hijacking further the OP, here is an illustration of happiness Crabby aren’t you? So, I’d guess you’re not happy. The reason for the question was simple: with all that you have going for you, you are either generally happy with life or not. If not, then you screwed up somewhere. From the initial basis of your post, it seems that you have almost everything which anyone could reasonably wish for with which to live a comfortable life, but does it make you happy? To define happy as you did is to split hairs down to the molecular level, better known as being obscure or vague. I think most folks, having what you seem to have, would have instantly responded ‘yes’. Was that so difficult now? > [@](#): > > We have problems to solve – And we have no time for inquiring minds that are here with nothing to contribute except a mere “wish to know”. Funny, the whole board is filled with inquiring minds wishing to know about things, except, of course, in this particular post I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/56 "2001-04-24T05:33:19Z")
The **Gay Guy** is agog. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![ModernRonin2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@ModernRonin2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ModernRonin2)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428/57 "2001-04-24T06:26:11Z")
\ Most SWMEs I?ve met seem to be proud of the fact that they sold their high-tech NASDAQ stocks when it was at 5,000 and diverted their portfolio into bonds or money market funds. \ Well, what’s wrong with making money on an intelligent gamble? Okay, I wouldn’t term it intelligence per se, more like “ability to see the blinding obvious”. But is this really such a terrible thing, to get lucky on the stock market? \ They seem to have contempt for those who were not as ?smart?, let alone us little non-SWMEs who were never interested nor could afford to buy stocks during the boom years. \ This, in my particular WME opinion, is dumb. It took the IQ of a chimp to see the tech bubble was going to burst from the beginning. Whoop-de-do. I don’t approve of snobs who look down their noses at other people because they don’t have a brokerage account. \ Does that mean I am envious of the SWMEs? Hell, no. They have bigger problems to face next time when they won?t be so lucky. \ Bah. You’re jealous. Better lose your pretensions pretty quick, they’re wearing real thin. \When I give a party or go to someone else?s party, I try to find out who is going to be there and what are their tastes in music, food, favorite subjects, etc. In preparation for the occasion, I spend tens of hours taping or burning a custom-built CD as background music, or preparing delicacies made to the taste of that specific audience. Most SWME?s I know, would think that a mere bottle of Mois-Chandon champagne would suffice. \ Yeah, I think this one is accurate. Spending money is considered more important than spending time. Since these guys are so rich from their stock options, which is really a more valuable gift? I don’t approve of this either. \If the party is at my place, there are candles and flowers galore,\ Well, speaking strictly as a WME, candles and flowers don’t make a party for me. Generally what I want is good music and interesting people. \let alone the custom-built music for dance, and the food-made-to-the taste of-invitees and intellectually stimulating topics for discussion. If I cannot afford that, everyone will be at the beach or the local lake with firewood, and sandwiches from your local Submarine franchise.\ Ehhh… I’m gonna call you a little bit on the convo. One man’s “intellectually stimulating” is another man’s “boring as hell.” Can you converse intelligently on the architecture of microcontrollers? Or would such convo just put you to sleep? \But, I?d make sure that there is a heater canister for that thin little lady who is an interesting personality , but gets cold easily. Most SWME?s I know, either think that everyone is responsible for their own wellness, or at most, the SWME is merely prepared to pay the bill. They simply don?t give a shit about other people?s special needs, let alone the needs of Africa. \ Yeah, guilty. Most guys I know don’t like being mothered. If we’re cold we know where to get our own jacket. And since that’s how we are, we try and “do the right thing” (from our POV) to others. \So, SWME?s are not materialistic? If they are not, who is? One of the nice attributes of non-SWME?s is that they are generally free - mentally. \ Well, it’s true that I own a fancy car (which really is not mine yet - it’s still the bank’s). It’s also true that on a daily basis, I drive a beaten up old Civic. I live in a two-room apartment (“neighbors knocking on the wall” as Tom Petty said). My favorite posession is an old piece o’ crap guitar my friend gave me to try and learn on. I’m typing these words on a Pentium 90 that hasn’t been able to run Windows since 3.1 went out of style. I have a mountain bike. My mom bought it for me as a birthday present when I was still in high school. Going on 8 years old now. I do have a big TV - someone was selling their used 27" TV for $150. No cable though, it isn’t worth the money. Ain’t crap on TV, and generally never has been. No VCR or DVD player. I’d like to get a PlayStation 2, because then I can get a few games and also watch DVDs. But that will be beyond my means for a couple more months here. I didn’t have a couch for a long time, I sat on the floor. Then my parents threw out their old crappy two-seat couch and it was small enough to fit, so that’s been nice. I think the point I’m trying to make here is that you’re painting with a fairly broad brush. I’m not entirely opposed to stereotypes, so long as people keep in mind that they are stereotypes, and the stereotypes are fairly accurate. I’m not sure where you live - perhaps the white male population there is different from where I am. \Most SWMEs are not even aware why $300 billion of everyone?s tax dollars in the US are going to defense (to serve what purpose?). If it is to get rid of Saddam Hussein, Bin-Lada, Ayatollah Khamanei, or Gaddafy, we could hit them with our Precision Weapons guided by satellites at any second. It makes me shiver to see the absolute ignorance of the SWME?s about the world affairs. And though, the same ass-holes are the board members of the fortune 500 corporations in the United States and other ?1st world? countries. \ Now just one cotton pickin’ minute there, bub! First of all, the VAST majority of SWMEs do not sit on the board of Fortune 500 companies. That’s as stupid a stereotype as saying that black men are wife-beaters because you saw OJ on TV. Secondly, personally speaking, I got sodomized by the IRS this year, and I am fucking bitter as hell about it. ESPECIALLY because I know EXACTLY what that money is going towards. Roughly 30% will be used to make more bombs and do stupid shit like invading a country that did nothing to even vaguely threatening to the US. I don’t like Saddam Hussien, but he sure as hell didn’t do anything that could justify the USA invading his country. Saudi Arabia could have taken care of that themselves. No reason for us to be over there killing our young men - overwhelmingly by “friendly” fire. That sucks ass. I resent every last cent of the money that will be used to build new bombers and pull us into a new cold war with China. Fucking death! Another 30% or so will go towards social security. But not MY social security. Social Security is going down the tubes and everyone knows it. The money I pay for SS will NOT be given back to me when I retire. One need only look at Britian to see how easy it is for this to happen. The money will be LONG GONE, used to pay people who retired before me. I don’t begrude them the money, but I highly resent being FORCED to pay for something that I’m told is “for my own good” when it’s clearly NOT. Also, I am lucky - my employer CHOOSES to give me a 401k that I can invest in. I will have something to retire on. Many, many people - many of them poor and underclass - are not lucky like me. They will be TOTALLY SCREWED when SS goes belly up in 30 years. So once again the fat cats will light their cigars with $100 bills, and the poor will get fucked in the ass - with the government’s complete approval. And don’t even get me started on that incredibly stupid “let’s gamble away retirement funds on the stock market” talk those Washington shitheads are currently discussing. And, finally, the last 30% goes to things I don’t mind or actually like. AIDS research, the arts, social safety nets, etc. I had to take out a loan to pay my taxes this year. I’m getting fucked so uncle sam can build more bombers. Not know? Are you kidding?? I know and I’M PISSED AS HELL! \ And, of course, there is that God and religion thing. I believe the majority of the SWMEs are either into that, or they like to see the none-SWMEs getting busy with that shit. \ Maybe. But this SWEM hates evangelical religious types. I have a bumper sticker on my Civic - “He died in AD 33 - get over it.” (You can buy your own from [http://www.pegasuspublishing.net](http://www.pegasuspublishing.net)) I have no truck with the fucking religious right and their hypocritical attempts to brainwash kids into believing ideas with no basis in fact or logic. \ After all, the M in SWME stands for marriage. \ Actually, in my case it stands for “male.” Straight (but not narrow), White, Male, Employed. And not going to take any shit just because I was born a certain color, am a certain gender, and happen to be lucky enough to have a job. I don’t mind marriage, though I’m not terribly interested in it at the moment. I’m all for allowing same-sex or poly marriages. Far as I’m concerned, a marriage is essentially an agreement between two or more consenting adults. The government has no business saying who can or can’t be married. It is entirely up to the people involved. -Ben [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-straight-white-married-employed-guy/62428.md?page=2)