# Ask the Stripper!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 5, 2007, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904 "2007-06-05T22:07:03Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/121 "2007-06-06T16:30:29Z")

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[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus]  
How many “regulars” do you have? i remember watching “G-String Divas” on HBO or Showtime or whatever (What did you think of that show, if you saw it?) and there was one woman who really worked her regular connections. She would actually call them and ask them if they were coming, why she hadn’t seen them in a while, etc.  
[/QUOTE]

Never saw that but it sounds interesting. Some girls rely heavily on regulars, but I have never liked that kind of relationship. It always feels like you owe the guy something. And it isn’t good to become dependent on someone who might not come through for you when you need it. Your hustle gets weak when you rely on regulars too much. I keep it sharp by not relying on any one guy. Now, there are men who do come in regularly that I always dance for, but they aren’t people I’d talk to out of the club or have any kind of arrangement like some dancers do with their regs.

Regulars also have a short shelf-life. Once they realize they’re not getting sex, they find a new interest.

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**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/122 "2007-06-06T16:31:55Z")

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[QUOTE=ralph124c]  
..and that of women not? I find it weird that feminists denouce the exploitation of women (e.g. all sex is rape); and ignore the exploitation of men (via the same means)!  
Take that, Betty Friedan!  
[/QUOTE]

I didn’t know that feminists thought all sex is rape. Seems like that would be a tiny percentage of women who think that way. The women I know all enjoy sex and still consider themselves feminists.

As for exploiting men, I don’t see where that ever happens, but I’m sure it exists somewhere.

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**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/123 "2007-06-06T16:32:02Z")

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[QUOTE=ralph124c]  
..and that of women not? I find it weird that feminists denouce the exploitation of women (e.g. all sex is rape); and ignore the exploitation of men (via the same means)!  
Take that, Betty Friedan!  
[/QUOTE]

Um, which feminists say that “all sex is rape”? I’ve heard versions of that attributed to Catharine McKinnon and Andrea Dworkin, but when cites were produced the actual quotes didn’t quite match up. Turns out they were somehow misquoted by _Penthouse_.

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**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/124 "2007-06-06T16:35:33Z")

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[QUOTE=Krokodil]  
How, in your life, do you meet your romantic partners?

[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Indygrrl]  
Umm, the same way anyone else would.  
[/QUOTE]

I seldom date people I meet at work…

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**Author:** ![ForumBot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ee59a6/32.png) [@ForumBot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForumBot)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/125 "2007-06-06T16:35:49Z")

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[QUOTE=Indygrrl]

As for exploiting men, I don’t see where that ever happens, but I’m sure it exists somewhere.  
[/QUOTE]

If you just took a minute to stop undressing me with your eyes you might see it, sweetcheeks. _spank_

Just teasing

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**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/126 "2007-06-06T16:39:28Z")

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[QUOTE=Krokodil]  
I seldom date people I meet at work…  
[/QUOTE]

Right. Neither do I.

Are you implying that dancers date people they meet at work? Very few girls actually do that.

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**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/127 "2007-06-06T16:42:28Z")

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[QUOTE=ralph124c]  
..and that of women not? I find it weird that feminists denouce the exploitation of women (e.g. all sex is rape); and ignore the exploitation of men (via the same means)!  
Take that, Betty Friedan!  
[/QUOTE]

First, feminists don’t say that.

Second, it’s not a feminists “job” to worry about men. Do you get mad that gynecologists aren’t concerned about your prostate? No.

Third, feminists all pretty much agree that the patriarchy hurts men too.

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**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/128 "2007-06-06T16:46:06Z")

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[QUOTE=Omniscient]  
I know I’m not the only one ready to make a road trip, right?  
[/QUOTE]  
No, no you aren’t. Where you want to meet up?

I used to go to Indy every August, but the event I went to has been moved to Ohio. Just my lousy luck…

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**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/129 "2007-06-06T16:49:42Z")

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[QUOTE=Sgt Schwartz]  
A couple of questions, if I may:

Are the managers and bouncers sexist pricks like they are in the movies?  
Is it more about the looks, or the moves? Could an average looking and dimensioned woman succeed if she can move well, or is her body more important?

Sgt Schwartz  
[/QUOTE]

Indy, do you mind if I add my experience/answers to this thread from an “ask a former stripper” perspective? If you don’t want me to that’s cool (you can even PM me if you don’t wanna say “get the hell outta my thread” publicly LOL)

I’m gonna make this one post but then I won’t do more unless I get an OK from you, and I am not gonna try to take over and post a million replies even if you say OK–just a little here and there.

I danced (topless, not nude) from about 1991-1995, primarily at TD’s Showclub (East) in Tucson, AZ though I did do a little traveling to TX from time to time, and I did work at Ten’s in Tucson for a couple of months. At TD’s the bouncers and managers were extremely protective of the dancers. Like we were all their sisters or something. I remember one time I was doing a table dance and a guy slapped me really hard on the ass (left a mark for about an hour). Almost before I knew what was happening, his chair flew over backwards and two bouncers dragged him out of the club. They didn’t come back in for a couple of minutes. (I don’t think they beat him up or anything but I think they laid the intimidation and yelling down pretty hard). Another time I had a real asshole of a customer say some mean things to me and made me cry. The manager asked me why I was crying and I told him. He and a bouncer threw the guy out, and then the bouncer came over to me and he was really fired up and pissed off. He said “I can’t believe he said that to you! I wanted to kick his ass so bad!” They were awesome. However, when I danced briefly at Caligula XXI in Houston, TX, the bouncers didn’t seem to care at all, and were far more concerned with the customers. I danced at a couple of places in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area (Lace in Arlington, New Orleans Nights in Ft. Worth) and they barely had any bouncers on the floor at all. So it really varies from place to place.  
Oh, **BobLibDem** : I have never smoked 🙂

Indygrrl: Wow, you didn’t get to choose your own music? Ouch. We did (though the DJs knew me well enough that they knew the stuff I liked, but if I wanted a specific song I just had to let them know a few minutes ahead of time so they could get it ready. We could also bring in our own CDs if the club didn’t have the music we wanted.

Here is my question for you: What is the weirdest song you ever danced on stage to? I remember dancing to Weird Al’s “Livin’ In The Fridge” once, but it was just after we opened on a Sunday and there were like 2 customers and 10 girls there and we were all just being silly.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/130 "2007-06-06T17:02:28Z")

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You’re cool, Opal. It’s always good to get more than one perspective. What year did you quit? Just wondering because things have changed considerably in the last ten years. You wouldn’t believe it.

The music thing is no biggie. Like I said, we run three to six stages at all times and there’s no way on earth the dj could cater to everyone. The good dj’s will play what I like because I tip them well. I don’t always get to choose exact songs, but they know my basic taste and go from that. Plus, we go on stage a lot. It would take too much time to go and pick out music every time we had a set. Over the years I have learned to dance to anything and everything, even stuff I hate.

I’ve danced to _Ghostbusters_ before. I thought that was pretty funny. Our dj will also use tv theme songs as break music, so it’s not rare to hear the Sanford and Son theme or _Manamana_. Those djs think they are comedians, lol. At my first club I used to dance to _Mac the Knife_, I loved that old song.

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**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/131 "2007-06-06T17:07:03Z")

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Everyone’s heard the stereotype that strippers hate, look down on, or variously despise their customers for various reasons. How much reality is there to that stereotype? I mean, on the one hand I can see how you could get a bit jaded towards men. On the other hand, if you really hate and despise them that much why are you still a stripper?

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**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/132 "2007-06-06T17:13:16Z")

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[QUOTE=OpalCat]

Oh, **BobLibDem** : I have never smoked 🙂

[/QUOTE]

Hooray for you! Still, the second hand smoke in one of these clubs is pretty bad, so really nobody should work for many years in one.

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**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/133 "2007-06-06T17:14:15Z")

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I didn’t see this question, but I might have missed it. Please excuse me if you’ve already answered it.

How does one apply for a job as a dancer in a strip club?

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**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/134 "2007-06-06T17:15:08Z")

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[QUOTE=Indygrrl]  
…things have changed considerably in the last ten years. You wouldn’t believe it.  
[/QUOTE]

Like how?

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**Author:** ![fuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuffle)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/135 "2007-06-06T17:19:17Z")

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Is there really any difference between the regular table dance and the VIP dance? I got one of each one time from a dancer and the dances were exactly the same, except for one I was sitting on a comfier couch. It’s not that I expected hanky-panky; I just figured that paying for the special treatment, there would be something…else. More? Better? Or is the VIP really just about paying for the fantasy of being alone with the girl instead of being down on the floor with everyone else?

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**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/136 "2007-06-06T17:19:42Z")

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[QUOTE=ivylass]  
I didn’t see this question, but I might have missed it. Please excuse me if you’ve already answered it.

How does one apply for a job as a dancer in a strip club?  
[/QUOTE]

You walk in, ask to speak to the manager, and then tell him you want to work.

He will either:  
a. Say, did you bring your stuff and do you want to start tonight?  
b. Make you audition and then decide.  
c. Tell you to come back because the “hiring manager” isn’t there (code for no)

I basically walked in and got hired, no audition. Managers can pretty much tell what you look like in jeans and a tight shirt. They know from that if they want to hire you.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/137 "2007-06-06T17:21:26Z")

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[QUOTE=niblet\_head]  
Like how?  
[/QUOTE]

It used to be that if you got a private dance it would essentially be what we call an “air dance,” you know, no real contact except maybe breasts brushing your face or butt brushing your leg. Now higher contact has become standard almost everywhere. It’s just differing degrees. If it was like it is now when I first started, I never would have danced.

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**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/138 "2007-06-06T17:24:03Z")

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[QUOTE=fuffle]  
Is there really any difference between the regular table dance and the VIP dance? I got one of each one time from a dancer and the dances were exactly the same, except for one I was sitting on a comfier couch. It’s not that I expected hanky-panky; I just figured that paying for the special treatment, there would be something…else. More? Better? Or is the VIP really just about paying for the fantasy of being alone with the girl instead of being down on the floor with everyone else?  
[/QUOTE]

Well, some places you pay by the hour or half hour rather than by the song. My club only has a VIP room where we sell $20 dances. We don’t have VIP and Champagne rooms like some places, and we don’t do dances on the floor.

In other clubs it is a way for the dancer to upsell to the client. Really, it should be better than a basic dance. She should go to extra effort to make sure you are having fun, conversation, drinks, sexy flirting and dancing. That type of thing is designed to be more of an experience than just a dance. And, of course, girls make more money when they sell VIP or CR.

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**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/139 "2007-06-06T17:40:25Z")

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[QUOTE=Indygrrl]

I would suggest to her a “don’t ask, don’t tell” type of policy. The agreement would be that you only go twice a year, but you don’t tell her when and you don’t tell her the details of it. She can go merrily along and not worry that you are out in the clubs every weekend.  
[/QUOTE]

That doesn’t work for me but thanks. BTW I go to Places in DC, never get lap dances, and only get cheek kisses after their dances to thank me for tips. I’m a light drinker, heavy tipper.

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**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\
**Post date:** [June 6, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-stripper/406904/140 "2007-06-06T17:47:20Z")

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So, you only do topless, and your nipple has to be covered? Huh? What is the point of that?

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