# Ask The Supreme Leader **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503 "2001-06-28T18:12:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/21 "2001-06-28T20:22:48Z")
Fortunately for you Chef Troy, I am above petty acts of vengeance. besides, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean that counts (or that’s what girls always tell me.) ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/22 "2001-06-28T20:23:27Z")
Oh Scylla, at the risk of sounding impatient, when I know your holiness is so… patient, and perfect… do tell… do tell, dear one, do tell… 😃 Elly ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/23 "2001-06-28T20:25:40Z")
You probably need a eunuch to keep all these consorts in line. I’ll happily volunteer. (No, you don’t need to check to make sure that I’m a eunuch. Just take my word for it, and then give me the keys to your harem.) ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/24 "2001-06-28T20:31:32Z")
::::sticking out lower lip and putting on her best cooing voice::::: ::::points to LNO::::: Scylla, I don’t _like_ him. Can you do something about it, dear one? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/25 "2001-06-28T20:33:18Z")
Well, **I** , for one, am not going to stand for this tyrrany! Can’t you all see that it’s all just lies and deception?! He doesn’t want to _help_ people, he just wants the _power_! But there’s hope! I’ve done a bit of research on this Scylla guy, and finally managed to isolate a weakness! The only way to defeat Scylla is to [Post edited by the Scylla, the All-Mighty. Carry on.] ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/26 "2001-06-28T20:37:15Z")
Elenfair: I intend to place you in charge of my **Happy Fun Squads.** Your job will be restore order and goodwill to the world, by using your unique ummm… talents to track down malcontents, the disgruntled, and other overenthusiastic testosterone brains who want to stir up trouble. Once you have done that, you will then use any and all means necessary to ummm… make them very happy, and err… satisfied. Once they’ve been subdued by you and your **Happy Fun Squads** they will no longer be a threat to society. Quite the contrary I think they’ll be very grateful and happy! You of course will be more than welcome to stop by the Imperial palace anytime. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/27 "2001-06-28T20:40:01Z")
Oh my. Will you grant me all the rights to sell Viagra? I want the monopoly, dear one. As for the Imperial Palace visits, well, you’re on. Rrrroww… 😃 E. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/28 "2001-06-28T20:45:05Z")
Oh, and Scylla, do I get to use some of those testosterone-charged men as my own personal slaves? Please, kitten? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/29 "2001-06-28T20:45:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LNO \* > \*\*You probably need a eunuch to keep all these consorts in line. I’ll happily volunteer. > > (No, you don’t need to check to make sure that I’m a eunuch. Just take my word for it, and then give me the keys to your harem.) \*\* Well, actually I was looking for somebody to be in charge of the auditions for the harem. You know, try out the tens of thousands of the world’s most beautiful and exotically talented women, and see which one’s are good enough for me. Too bad your a eunuch though. I guess I’ll just have to do it myself. Don’t feel sad though. There’s a place for you in my society. I hereby proclaim you **Third Assistant Sewer Worker, Newark New Jersey.** ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/30 "2001-06-28T20:50:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Elenfair \* > \*\*Oh, and Scylla, do I get to use some of those testosterone-charged men as my own personal slaves? Please, kitten? > > 😃 \*\* I believe in a hands-off management style. You have broad powers of discretion and initiative which you should use in pursuit of your duties. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/31 "2001-06-28T21:05:59Z")
Any chance you need a cheerleader? I’ve got experience… ::puts on teeny-tiny cheerleader skirt & tight cheerleader sweater:: “Yeah Scylla He’s our man! If he can’t do it, No one can!” N.B. Please insert split jump where ever you feel it would be most appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/32 "2001-06-28T21:17:13Z")
[Here’s](http://paul.merton.ox.ac.uk/filmtv/overlord.html) some advice for Evil Overlords, but I suspect it’s not _quite_ the direction you intend to go. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/33 "2001-06-28T21:35:58Z")
I would like to apply for the position of snivelling high-level clerk. I know how it gets - there’s never enough hours in day no matter how much you bend time with your mighty powers. Sometimes, you just wish you could flood the place and start again. But have no fear - I’ll be there to deal with all those troublesome **Happy Fun Squad** expenses forms for you. I’ll be there to pick your lunch when those vegetarians blockade your path. Most of all, I’ll be there to answer your phones and politely fob people off when you’d rather be doing something else. So trust on Fran, your **all-purpose snivelling clerk** to make your days _and nights_ easier. You know it makes sense. Fran ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/34 "2001-06-28T21:41:40Z")
Well, if I was a Benevolent Tyrant, I would appoint myself **Mistress of Booze** [sub]Which I suppose could be a fancy name for wine girl[/sub]. Wouldst you be needing my services, thou wise and mighty and generous? Oh, you want a resumé? Sure. But you have to find it. It’s somewhere on my body. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/35 "2001-06-28T21:44:06Z")
This is a great thing. I now at last have the ear of the leader. I demand to be able to get paid for no work. No more meetings or projects with rediculous schedules and requirements. I will not take a pay cut. I need a government vehicle for the traveling I will be doing with the time you have most graciously given me. A government grant will be just the thing for me to study if living an opulent life adversely affects a workaholic. After you have given me the above needs I will cheerfully support your despotismness. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/36 "2001-06-28T21:54:54Z")
You are gonna ban light beer, right? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/37 "2001-06-28T22:08:45Z")
Oh **Scylla** , do you have a position you could offer a humble wretch like me!!! ::bowing and backing out of the room:: Keith ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/38 "2001-06-28T22:12:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Fortunately for you Chef Troy, I am above petty acts of vengeance. > > besides, it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean that counts (or that’s what girls always tell me.) \*\* Are they by any chance sitting beside you on the bed, patting your hand commiseratingly, while they tell you this? Do they then go to “use the ladies’ room” for an extended time, during which you can hear what sounds like a bee buzzing around in there with them? Yeah, that’s what I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/39 "2001-06-28T22:16:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBeer \* > \*\*You are gonna ban light beer, right? \*\* Unfortunately, I believe it’s called _lite_ beer. If appointed **Mistress of Booze** , that would be my first government sanctioned act – if **Scylla the Sumptuous** approves, of course. My second act would be to require all alcohol-selling establishments to carry Newcastle on tap. Mmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/40 "2001-06-28T22:29:13Z")
\ \ Scylla…good…me…like…Scylla… Fuzzy guzzy bun-bun…\ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503.md?page=3)