# Ask The Supreme Leader **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503 "2001-06-28T18:12:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/81 "2001-06-29T18:40:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Ginger: > \ > I admit that it’s possible, once I’ve attained Supreme Leadership to wage war on the dandelions and ants, and wipe them out. > > If you wish to me devote resources away from starving children and such to do so, and risk destroying the world’s ecosystem, you’re going to have to provide me with some good reasons. \*\* I’m working on them. First, I’m lovely and not demanding. Once these are taken care of, I’ll be a happy fun squad all on my own. Can we not handle all of the above? ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/82 "2001-06-29T19:02:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Tattva: > > What duties would the mistress of booze perform (I hope it doesn’t involve odd uses for a bottle?) > > \*\* Well, she pours your beer for you (minimizing the head, of course), taps the keg when necessary, orders large quantities of absinthe from the Czech Republic, monitors the supply of liquor in the realm of **Scylla** , and other duties as required by the **Happy Fun Squad**. The job description is, of course, always subject to change. And bottles, well, let’s just say we don’t believe in canned alcohol for a reason. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/83 "2001-06-29T19:33:32Z")
Cadet Alice - Take care of Euty please. Good to have you on the force. Odie, you’re a daaaarrrling. I’ll put your name down for a promotion. AlbertRose, you’re MINE. ::::: plasters Albert Rose with hugs and kisses and Happy Fun Squad Secret Weapon ::::::: Resistance is Futile, dearest. Plus, I have a soft spot for math. Triangles ARE fun. Now come here so I can estimate your ratios… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/84 "2001-06-29T19:39:13Z")
Oh, and alice? Do make a flan, dearest. Scylla, oh greatest of the greatest - we will need an imperial food-tester. I wouldn’t want to feed you anything that might kill you, kitten. And though I am glad to have Alice on the force, I am a bit worried about her _going to the other side_, with AlbertRose tugging at her and all. See, odieman I trust. Until I have AlbertRose drooling at my feet begging me for more, I will not put your life at risk, dove. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/85 "2001-06-29T20:26:14Z")
Tattva, I need a few kegs to subdue AlbertRose, STAT! ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/86 "2001-06-29T20:44:25Z")
“That government is best which governs not at all.” [sub] - H. D. Thoreau[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/87 "2001-06-29T21:16:54Z")
Oh **AlbertRose** dear… **Scylla’s** iron fist of doom… er… generosity has brought you free beer. But this keg and the dancing naked women that come with it only go to those who deserve it. You must accept **Scylla** as your leader. He is good. He’s got the whole world in his hands. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/88 "2001-06-29T21:30:13Z")
“Get me some help”? Well, that seems fitting; Canada is a big place, after all. I’ll probably need minions, toadies, boot-lickers, and general hangers-on. And deli clerks. Lots of deli clerks. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/89 "2001-06-29T21:31:38Z")
Ya know, **AlbertRose** considering that first my offer of services was ignored by Scylla and then rebuffed by Scylla, and now Erinfair is casting aspursions on my flan, I think that I’m RIPE for corruption… AND I can do a back bend… [Edited by Eutychus55 on 06-29-2001 at 05:50 PM] ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/90 "2001-06-29T21:46:00Z")
Unfortunatly, when doing a back bend, my preview button doesn’t work… ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/91 "2001-06-29T22:01:50Z")
So I dont get it. Are you a leader or a God or both or what?!? Cause if your a God your coat’s not very sparkely! ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/92 "2001-06-29T22:16:12Z")
Odieman, seize them! Scylla, bunny - whatever shall we do about uprisings against your Big Happy Universal Kingdom? As for YOU, Alice, well! We’ll have AlbertRose lecture you about the wonders of trigonometry and preview buttons until your brain turns to microsoft-style-mush! … All this will be done in the most benevolent way, of course. Right, Scylla-my-dove? ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/93 "2001-06-29T22:24:57Z")
Whammo, of course Scylla is in direct connection _with_ Gawd. Scylla, like the pope, is infalliable. Now come here, and I’ll make sure you firmly believe that, and grovel like an imbecile at the feet of all members of the Happy Fun Squad. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/94 "2001-06-29T22:57:28Z")
Scylla: Thanks, man. Can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I mean, I like bass and all–it works well in the proper context. But pounding out of a vehicle at window-rattling volumes (at 2 am on a Sunday, which actually happened here in my little corner of Scyllaland last weekend), well, that’s not exactly “proper context.” Because you’ve chosen to grant my humble request, you may sign me… _Persephone, Humble Resident of Scylla’s New World, who hereby promises to pay her taxes on time._ ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/95 "2001-06-29T22:59:50Z")
Persephone, ever considered a career in the Happy Fun Squad? ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/96 "2001-06-29T23:10:08Z")
Yeah, I’ve just got one question, regarding **Tattva** ’s implementation of the booze aspect of your policymaking, **Scylla**. What’s the drinking age under your regime? If it’s anything higher than 20, **AlbertRose** here i come. ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2001, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/97 "2001-06-29T23:38:31Z")
Don’t touch the women, **AlbertRose**!! They are to be looked at, not touched, unless **Scylla** or **Elenfair** gives you permission. [sup]Tee hee, I brought the keg with the sedatives in it! Look at the little schweetheart get sleepy…[/sup] Hey **Elly** , got another blob of testosterone for you! ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/98 "2001-06-30T00:46:34Z")
Oo. Another shapeless heap of gelatinous testosterone. I like. 😃 Scylla, kitten, dove, bunny… where are you? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/99 "2001-06-30T01:28:05Z")
Sorry, I’ve just been working on overhauling the legal system for my new Utopia. I think I’ve figured out how to make that work well, and eliminate child abuse, poverty, and unemployment all in one fell swoop! If I can just figure out how to tie it in with the economic system I’ve been working on, we should be all ready to go. Just hold those malcontents in line for a little longer. You’re doing a great job. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/100 "2001-06-30T01:35:36Z")
Will do, Scylla dearest. Let me know when The Implementation will begin. I want to be there for the fireworks. Save me a seat by your side. In the meantime, Odie, be a good boy and fetch me a slice of cake. I need to figure out what to do with AlbertRose. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503.md?page=6)