# Ask The Supreme Leader **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503 "2001-06-28T18:12:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/141 "2001-07-01T12:25:45Z")
Fenris, you’re MINE. C’mere. Feynn, never underestimate the power of the Happy Fun Squad. I’ll get to you sooner or later - even if I have to enlist your consort!! _insert maniacal laughter here_ AlbertRose: _sniff_ Waaah! I feel… so… left out of your equation! Alice: Could you do something about Feynn, too? Scylla, dove kitten… I love it when you talk world-take-over. _row_ ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/142 "2001-07-01T12:38:39Z")
Scotticher, tie 'em up and bind them legally. 😃 NO ONE CAN RESIST THE HAPPY FUN SQUAD! Scylla the benevolent said so. As for the revolutionaries: Fenris, sweet, sweet revolutionary, dear, dear fuzzy-wuzzy Fenris… :::: sings :::::: Some enchanted eeeveniiiiing, You will see the Fun squaaaad, You will see the Fun Squaaad, Across a crowded roooom And somehow you’ll know, You’ll know even then, That you’ll be seein’ them Again aaaand agaaain… :::: exits stage left ::::: ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/143 "2001-07-01T16:07:04Z")
**O Benevolent Leader:** > [@](#): > > Remember, we are benevolent. Be sure and only commit atrocities where no one can witness them. Would that preclude the elimination of any and all witnesses? Some have expressed doubt that your tastes in music are up to the standards of a supreme leader. Allow me to show these doubting traitors the error of this line of thought. **Mega-Force** Theme Song: I considered briefly using **Queen’s** _We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions_, but that’s sorta cliche, and unoriginal. So I’m down to **Carl Orff’s** _Carmina Burana_ specifically _O Fortuna_, or **Vangelis’** _Voices_, the title track from the album of the same name. _Voices_ has a good bit of the military grandeur to it, but _O Fortuna_ is better at conveying the menace I wish to associate with The **Mega-Force.**. Of course, our actual battle hymm would, appropriately enough, be either Wagner, or one of Beethoven’s more thunderous pieces (perhaps something from the 9th, extended and punched up a bit). I am also considering a Waltz, possibly **Richard Strauss’** _The Blue Danube_ as an ironic counterpoint, and to convey the inevitable majesty of the **Mega Force** in action. Alternatively, given enough time and inspiration (note to self: rent _Apocalypse Now, Platoon, Full Metal Jacket, Gettysburgh, anything by Sergei Eisenstein_) I could come up with an original. **Fenris:** my methodolgy in removing kneecaps is borrowed from the **IRA.** Basically, it’s a .44 Caliber patellaectomy. Quite effective, I understand. It’s either that or **Black and Decker.** Each have their advantages and disadvantages, so I may incorporate both, and select which to use on a case-by-case basis. Care to reconsider your foolhardy resistance? I’m sure I could find a slot for you in whatever military unit you desire, be it aviation or armor. How’d you like to be a fighter pilot? Command a Legion of Armor? Crush our enemies? See them driven before us? Hear the lamentation of their women? C’mon; you _know_ you want to. Give in to your impulses and desires, feel the power at your fingertips! _The_ **Mega-Force** wants _YOU!_ ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/144 "2001-07-01T18:50:24Z")
Oh Ex-Tank! You’re my _heeeero_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/145 "2001-07-01T19:00:59Z")
Really tank boy… such violence. I’ll see your Wagner with a rousing rendition of the theme from “Blue’s Clues”. Your shock troops will not be able to stand against me. Then I will start lobbing boxes of Crayolas, the box of 64 with the sharpener. How can anyone resist that? ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2001, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/146 "2001-07-01T19:04:39Z")
:::: pumps Feynn’s kids full of caffeine and sugar:::: A-HA! Let’s see if you can quell THIS domestic warfare before you start attacking Scylla the Great’s Benevolent Empire! _evil laughter_ ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/147 "2001-07-02T00:23:54Z")
I have decided to base my utopian society upon the cinematic works and inherent philiosophies of Sylvester Stallone. My legal system is modelled after **Judge Dredd** All orphans will be adopted by the state. They will be given the most rigourous mental, physical, and ethical, education that can be provided. Those that fail the program will simply be well-prepared for life. Those that pass will take a vow of poverty and go forth to roam the world dispensing justice as Police Officer, Judge, Jury, and executioner. They will be encouraged to be harsh but fair so that frivolity is not brought before them. They will be extremely well-armed and encouraged to sneer out of one-side of their mouth. **Demolition Man** is basically the same movie, except Wesley Snipes is the bad guy. They will have authority to exercise eminent domain over private property, and redistribute wealth to ensure that no man wants for food, shelter or education. The state religion will be “Staying Alive” representing the fusion of John Travolta’s acting and the supremacy of Sylvestor Stallon’s writing and directorial skills. In this movie Travolta’s life mirrors the plot of the Broadway dance show “Satan’s Alley” which he is in first, as extra, then as co-star, finally usurping premiere stardom through improvisation." It is almost biblical in it’s content, containing ambition, temptation, betrayal, lust, and redemption, and lots of spandex so it should do just fine as a religion. (a small fiefdom to the first person to describe the boots worn by thee “producer” of "Satan’s Alley.) ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/148 "2001-07-02T01:11:40Z")
**Feynn:** I’ll simply woo your kids away with cool jet combat simulators. The ultimate in video games. Then I’ll let them drive a tank (with a remote deactivation switch, of course) and ride co-pilot in a helicopter gunship, and let them shoot the Mega Cannons. They’ll be eager recruits, I’m sure, once their creative energies are channeled and harnessed. : peeks about conspiratorially: _[sub] **Fenris, Feynn,** if the boss guy gets any wierder, I might be joing you guys shortly…brutal repression and all that are nice enough in a supreme leader, but I must insist on a modicum of taste and culture…_[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/149 "2001-07-02T01:29:55Z")
Scylla, kitten, I’ve hired a number of goons. I think they will turn out quite nicely. StephenG has been named my official Right Hand Man. I think he will be good for the job. It seems like he has managed to temporarily incapacitate Fenris. I _will_ get through to ThickSkulled Fenris by the end of the weekend, darnit! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/150 "2001-07-02T01:44:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*I have decided to base my utopian society upon the cinematic works and inherent philiosophies of Sylvester Stallone. > > …to ensure that no man wants for food, shelter or education.\*\* “Squalor is the disease, and **Scylla** is the cure. Yo.” > [@](#): > > _originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland_ > \*\*Why don’t we start our OWN happy fun squad, big boy. > > Clearly, we have superior happy fun skills. AND I can kint us nifty little uniforms, with pom-poms and stuff.\*\* I am left breathless with amazement. Today, I am the luckiest man on the face of the Earth. I’m not sure about wearing the skirt and pom-poms, though. That oiled leather thong of mine doesn’t leave much to the imagination. C’mere, let’s practice some more Happy Funses. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/151 "2001-07-02T01:56:27Z")
AlbertRose, Alice may be a cute bowl of petunias, but in the end, she won’t be able to balance the equation. \ I’ll just sit here and pout. Oh, where are my BOY TOY and my RIGHT HAND MAN when I need 'em? _whistles for Turbo Dog and StephenG_ ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/152 "2001-07-02T03:05:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Elenfair \* > **I _will_ get through to ThickSkulled Fenris by the end of the weekend, darnit!** Ain’t gotten me yet. Fenris, from the dark underbelly of Scylla’s $cientology Newtopia (John “Can’t Sing, Can’t Act” Travolta is High Priest?) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/153 "2001-07-02T06:40:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Elenfair \* > \*\*AlbertRose, > > Alice may be a cute bowl of petunias, but in the end, she won’t be able to balance the equation. > > \*\* Balance, is of course, key in a cheerleader’s list of skills, what with all those pyramids and all… I’m sorry Elenfair, AlbertRose is mine. We will be staging a nifty little coup, as soon as I can pry my ankle from back here… Albert, shnookims, can you please hand me that axel grease, this thing is stuck again… ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/154 "2001-07-02T11:24:10Z")
Traitors! All of them! (Now being benevolent and all, alice, if you need that ankle looked at, we DO have universal healthcare…) Now where the heck are my bodyguards! _whistles_ Can’t get good help aroud here anymore… ::::: stomps off ::::::: ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/155 "2001-07-02T17:43:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*I have decided to base my utopian society upon the cinematic works and inherent philiosophies of Sylvester Stallone. > > My legal system is modelled after **Judge Dredd** > > They …will take a vow of poverty and go forth to roam the world dispensing justice as Police Officer, Judge, Jury, and executioner. > > They will have authority to exercise eminent domain over private property, and redistribute wealth to ensure that no man wants for food, shelter or education.\*\* Oh, dear… Sir, I do not wish to incur the wrath of the Fun Squad\*, but I feel I must ask: Are you certain this is your mandate? Let’s not lose sight of your “No Freebies” stance. History has shown that re-distribution of wealth eventually becomes a DIS-incentive to production. Why work hard if all that you make will be taken away and given to someone who refuses to work. With the proliferation of information sharing in this post-modern society, one might be persuaded to examine recent socio-political… \*[sub]Well, okay, maybe I DO want to incur just a little wrath. Elenfair has a way of making re-education look VERY inviting… (_Fenris_, I believe my droning on in an attempt at familiarizing our ersatz leader with basic macro-sociology/economics might succeed in causing his eyes to glaze over and roll back in his head. Keep your eyes peeled and you may find a perfect opportunity to stage a coup.) [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/156 "2001-07-02T19:02:53Z")
Tygr, His Most Benevolentship Scylla (Hail Scylla, Hail Hail!) has his hands full already. Do address all your concerns to Ex Tank, Scotticher, and they’ll be glad to assist you. Now come here in order that I might re-educate you. We’ll see if you still have concerns and complaints afterwards. _snaps fingers_ Odie, get me the comfy chair, and massage-o-matic-3000. ---
**Author:** ![Tattva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@Tattva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tattva)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/157 "2001-07-02T20:27:43Z")
Well **Fenris** , since you don’t think sex and beer are powerful weapons, perhaps you’d like to live without them for a year or two. And we can take your computers away. But really, we’ve all seen that **Scylla’s** a worthy leader. Cmon, would you rather have Goat Porn or World Hunger? So, wanna let me show you how to use the three seashells? ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/158 "2001-07-02T20:54:17Z")
NO!! Not… :eek: _the comfy chair!!_ Just please, not the soft pillows! Not the ones with the stuffing pushed up to one end…! But honestly, an electric massager? Pfft. Those have no effect on me… ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2001, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503/159 "2001-07-02T22:19:31Z")
Who said anything about electric? Oh, you have so much to learn about the Happy Fun Squad, so much to learn. I’ll have you turned into manly jelly in no time flat. Tattva, I’m GLAD you’re back. I can’t keep up with demand here… 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-supreme-leader/70503.md?page=7)