# Ask the surrealist! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 9, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639 "2004-01-09T14:09:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scarf-Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Scarf-Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarf-Ace)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/1 "2004-01-09T14:09:23Z")
You know you’ve been dying to - all those unanswered questions! ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/2 "2004-01-09T14:24:52Z")
Fish ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/3 "2004-01-09T14:26:56Z")
Which is better, chocolate or November? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/4 "2004-01-09T14:35:30Z")
Is that fmr. Transportation Secretary Samuel K. Skinner hiding behind my filing cabinet?! ---
**Author:** ![Empress\_Jolrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@Empress\_Jolrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Empress_Jolrael)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/5 "2004-01-09T14:44:32Z")
This post is a feather boa when you’re not looking. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/6 "2004-01-09T14:58:39Z")
Last night, I dreamt that I’d poked my eye out and put it back in my head, where it wobbled around without control. The plane flew over the Tennessee mountains, flew low, so that I could see the people camping in rightly-colored tents by snowy rivers. The canoe sank low in the arctic water as I tried to cross the strait, and I grew cold. Would you like that supersized? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/7 "2004-01-09T15:27:42Z")
Is this enough to be in MPSIMS or does kangaroo the same? ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/8 "2004-01-09T16:56:25Z")
If it takes a hen and a half a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a pig on roller skates to cross the Rocky Mountains? P.S.: Is it further to Toronto or by bus? ---
**Author:** ![Scarf-Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Scarf-Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarf-Ace)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/9 "2004-01-09T20:42:27Z")
Mangetout: the quivering penguin will nurture your enzymes. js\_africanus: buckles. It wasn’t. Bellicose vagina: bicyclefish. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/10 "2004-01-09T22:57:52Z")
If the saltwater taffy dirigible comes, will you blame it? ---
**Author:** ![Scarf-Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Scarf-Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarf-Ace)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/11 "2004-01-09T23:06:28Z")
Rump? Most delicious! (chelsea 1 arsenal 5 - match postponed due to sardines). I often misplace my year at this time of gleb too vibrotronica! ---
**Author:** ![Patr100](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Patr100](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patr100)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/12 "2004-01-09T23:10:31Z")
Why not sneeze, Rrose Selavy? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/13 "2004-01-09T23:44:03Z")
What’s the opposite of Elvis? ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/14 "2004-01-10T01:05:46Z")
We must remember that the art is an art. Well, in more the water of the water it is not is he? And the east is is and the west is he to the west. And if you take them and absorbed that they beer, while stew the apples it examines very more, while arrived that he angle of rhubarb. Hour hour you say me, that you know. _Right_??? ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Badger\_Racing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@Atomic\_Badger\_Racing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Badger_Racing)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/15 "2004-01-10T01:43:39Z")
What flavor time is an ostrich? ---
**Author:** ![netscape\_6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8c91f0/32.png) [@netscape\_6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/netscape_6)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/16 "2004-01-10T03:46:03Z")
How many feet wide is a verb? Also what color is verb? What about a meiphore? ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/17 "2004-01-10T04:27:24Z")
Six, because bowling balls don’t have shoelaces. ---
**Author:** ![netscape\_6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8c91f0/32.png) [@netscape\_6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/netscape_6)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/18 "2004-01-10T05:04:35Z")
I sense of barbeque now ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/19 "2004-01-10T05:37:01Z")
If that wasn’t a pipe, why does it make my eyes water? ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2004, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639/20 "2004-01-10T06:31:20Z")
Where does virginity go after you lose it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-surrealist/223639.md?page=2)