# "Ask the..." threads you won't be seeing on the Dope any time soon **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 11, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699 "2009-09-11T16:09:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/21 "2009-09-11T19:26:01Z")
**Ask the Rock, In Regards to What He’s Cooking** ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/22 "2009-09-11T19:27:33Z")
\*\*Ask the guy planning a murder for early next week Ask the judge who takes bribes Ask the gainfully-employed Liberal Arts major Ask the happy telemarketer Ask the modest Texan Ask the hapless, adulterous Southern governor Ask Cecil… no, really!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![janeslogin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@janeslogin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janeslogin)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/23 "2009-09-12T15:18:57Z")
\*\*Ask the chap who _successfully committed suicide._ ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/24 "2009-09-12T17:13:31Z")
**Ask the person who doesn’t have internet access** ---
**Author:** ![user\_hostile](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/user_hostile/32/474_2.png) [@user\_hostile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/user_hostile)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/25 "2009-09-12T17:32:28Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > **Ask the pedophile** > . . . > **Ask the cannibal** I seem to remember two threads, the former was locked in a matter of minutes:eek: and latter, while not involving an “ask the …”, a doper was pretty broken up about a person whom he/she knew was voluntarily cannibalized. ☹ ☹ ☹ This was unintentionally darker than you thought it would be **Chefguy**. I would have expected you to advocate “Ask the Sarah Palin” thread. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/26 "2009-09-12T18:02:10Z")
> [@Rebo](#): > > [Different board.](http://www.giraffeboards.com/showthread.php?p=176914#post176914) Nope, it was done [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=159718) years ago, although it did not prove to be a popular thread. Here’s a 2008 [list](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=491080) of actual “Ask the…” threads. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/27 "2009-09-12T18:18:47Z")
**Ask the Frotteur** ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/28 "2009-09-12T21:01:38Z")
**Ask the Chiropractor For Invertebrates** ---
**Author:** ![Skylark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Skylark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skylark)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/29 "2009-09-12T21:12:55Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > **Ask the Grapist** 🙂 > [@user\_hostile](#): > > I seem to remember two threads, the former was locked in a matter of minutes:eek: and latter, while not involving an “ask the …”, a doper was pretty broken up about a person whom he/she knew was voluntarily cannibalized. ☹ ☹ ☹ I remember that one (the cannibal one). IIRC, a Doper had a job in Germany and worked (tho not directly) with someone who, years (months?) later responded to an internet personal ad, and, well, things went on from there. [Armin Meiwes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armin_Meiwes). ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/30 "2009-09-12T21:18:16Z")
Ask the person who doesn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/31 "2009-09-12T21:30:56Z")
Ask _The_ Cecil Adams. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/32 "2009-09-12T22:09:20Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > **Ask the pedophile** This was actually a thread a few years ago with an honest to God [adolescent kid fancier](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ephebophilia) answering questions. IIRC it got very heated, locked and finally deleted. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/33 "2009-09-12T22:15:07Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Ask the person who doesn’t know. [It](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=211730)’s on the [list](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=491080). ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/34 "2009-09-12T22:28:15Z")
Ask the woman who can’t stop farting. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/35 "2009-09-12T22:46:14Z")
Ask the Time Traveler-yesterday. Ask the person in Witness Protection Ask the Illuminati Ask Joe Wilson Ask the jerk ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/36 "2009-09-12T22:53:45Z")
Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/37 "2009-09-12T22:59:37Z")
Ask “The”, (the actual word; ‘The’) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2009, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/38 "2009-09-13T00:05:46Z")
**Ask Michael Jackson** ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/39 "2009-09-13T00:46:59Z")
> [@PatriotGrrrl](#): > > **Ask the person who doesn’t have internet access** Alternatively, **Ask the Old-Order Amish person.** ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-threads-you-wont-be-seeing-on-the-dope-any-time-soon/509699/40 "2009-09-13T01:29:15Z")
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