# Ask the Transgendered Person
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905
**Category:** Great Debates
**Created:** [April 14, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905 "2001-04-14T02:13:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/1 "2001-04-14T02:13:49Z")
I am basically doing this for the same reason Esprix did his ask the Gay Guy threads. The only real diffrence is I don’t think people know enough about being transgendered to form too many misconceptions.🙂
I will start off with a quote from someone else.
> [@](#):
>
> There are several different types of transgenders out there (and I’m sure I’m forgetting some!) … and also, no one likes to be categorized as one thing or the other. So let’s try not to get hung up on the labels (individual mileage may vary!) … but here’s how clinicians break things down:
>
> Psychologists agree that the overwhelming majority of fetishistic transvestites are heterosexual. Sure, there are gonna be exceptions. We’re just saying that 99% of the men who are sexually aroused and/or experience psychological relief from crossdressing are heterosexual (or at least bisexual with more leanings towards hetero- than homosexuality). These TVs also have little or no desire to ever undergo a sex-change operation or live full-time as a woman. I suspect most of FM’s audience falls into this category … but again, there are going to be exceptions to every rule.
>
> Homosexual men typically engage in crossdressing for theatrical purposes only – they don’t get aroused from it. These are the stereotypical “Drag Queens” who usually gain no sexual pleasure from their crossdressing and tend to dress to shock rather than to “pass” as a genetic woman.
>
> Transsexuals – these are women trapped in the bodies of men. They might be heterosexual or homosexual (lesbian). They’re not so much interested in crossdressing as they are in simply being the opposite sex. Usually (but-not-always!) transsexuals are uninterested in sexual intercourse until after sex reassignment surgery. Afterwards, they feel more comfortable with their bodies and live normal lives and develop normal heterosexual or lesbian relationships… (Female-to-Male transsexuals exist also. Though female-to-male transvestites are strikingly rare).
>
> A final (and somewhat polemical) category involves autogynephilia. This is a relatively new buzz-word describing men who are sexually aroused by the thought/fantasy of being a woman. Some doctors put these men into the transsexual category, others say these men are a type of fantasy-transvestite. I suspect they’re both right and that psychologists are only now beginning to ascertain the true depth and scope of trangenderism. There are always going to be some people that don’t fit neatly into a category.
>
> I guess the bottom line is this – TGs come in all shapes and colours. Some are hetero- and some are homo- … reading stories on this website will not change you one way or the other. If you’re content with who you are, it’s nobody’s business but your own.
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/2 "2001-04-14T02:33:14Z")
Don’t leave out the intersex people (hermaphrodites).
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/3 "2001-04-14T02:41:39Z")
Well I am not a hermaphrodite, so don’t ask me about them.🙂 (though I would suspect that they have Klinfelters disease where you can have YYXX YXX or even YXXXX chromosones.)
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/4 "2001-04-14T05:16:42Z")
One of the two hermaphrodites I knew said that she had one X chromosome and a second chromosome that was **half way between** being a Y and an X.
Interestingly enough, both of the hermaphrodites I knew had been raised male but had decided in their 30s that they were really women, and had had sex-reassignment surgery to get a “complete set” of women’s plumbing. (Or as complete as is possible with surgery.)
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### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/5 "2001-04-14T05:25:25Z")
what category \* do \* you fall into, so we can ask you the correct questions?
stoid
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/6 "2001-04-14T06:56:04Z")
Yeah I guess that would have helped:) This probably won’t be my most coherent of posts because I had a hard enough time admitting it to myself.
Transsexual would fit me best.
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### Author:  [@Commander\_Fortune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commander_Fortune)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/7 "2001-04-14T10:47:52Z")
Do you think F-\>M reassignment surgery is as rare as it is due to complications of the surgery itself or because there is actually a lower percentage of F-\>M TGs?
Regarding F-\>M TVs… Do you think that the research conducted has been equal to the amount done on M-\>F TVs or that actual F-\>M TVs, because of cultural norms and fashion differences, are simply less conspicuous research subjects?
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/8 "2001-04-14T14:53:34Z")
Commander Fortune wrote:
> [@](#):
>
> Regarding F-\>M TVs… Do you think that the research conducted has been equal to the amount done on M-\>F TVs or that actual F-\>M TVs, because of cultural norms and fashion differences, are simply less conspicuous research subjects?
Hmmm … now that you mention it, a female dressed as a male would certainly be less conspicuous than a male dressed as a female. In fact, an F-\>M transvestite would probably be regarded as simply a “tomboy”, and wouldn’t be seen as transgendered in most people’s eyes.
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### Author:  [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/9 "2001-04-14T15:58:53Z")
Gads, I’ve never participated in one of the “ask the …” threads before, so I suppose (hope) the ground rules are that if you ask a really dumb question, no one is going to brand you as a big stupid jerk for the rest of eternity?
Is the goal of a transgendered person _always_ sex reassignment surgery, or do some transgendered people find an acceptable level of comfort by living as the appropriate gender? I’m asking because I imagine that the sex reassignment surgery is very expensive, and fairly major as far as surgical procedures go. Some individuals might have other medical conditions that make surgery even more risky.
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/10 "2001-04-14T17:26:32Z")
Commander Fortune, I would agree with tracer. I think that they will simply be slower to act since they are more accepted.
delphica simply living as the appropriate gender is much more important than sex reassignment surgery. And the goal of a cross dresser doesen’t even include looking like a woman all the time.
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### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/11 "2001-04-14T17:28:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tracer \*
> \*\*
> Hmmm … now that you mention it, a female dressed as a male would certainly be less conspicuous than a male dressed as a female. In fact, an F-\>M transvestite would probably be regarded as simply a “tomboy”, and wouldn’t be seen as transgendered in most people’s eyes. \*\*
I think that depends on what you mean as “a female dressed as a male”. Speaking as my college’s current reigning drag king (we just had a drag show last night, and I won!), there’s a lot more to looking like a man than just putting on a tie.
Certainly many women wear trousers and button-down shirts, but these are usually WOMEN’S trousers and button-down shirts. A woman who wears only clothes that were designed for men is fairly conspicuous, although strangers would probably be more likely to assume that she is a lesbian rather than a transsexual. If the woman attempts to disguise her secondary sexual attributes (breast and hip binding) or fake male attributes (facial hair, crotch-stuffing) then she’s clearly gone far beyond just being a big “Annie Hall” fan.
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### Author:  [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/12 "2001-04-14T17:36:01Z")
So… what exactly is the experience of being you that makes you think you would be happier and more at peace with yourself if you had female genitals? Do you find you are completely uninterested in sex? Do you feel like a liar when you present yourself to the world as male?
I’ve never understood what the feelings are exactly, since I have no gender issues myself. So I’d appreciate it if you’d describe them as specifically as possible.
(Hey, you offered.)
stoid
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/13 "2001-04-14T18:55:11Z")
Well I am mostly uninterested in sex, but that as itself is not really a problem to me as I have always been uninterested. I don’t feel a liar when I present myself to the world as male, so much as that I can’t and don’t present myself as a male. I just don’t “get” being a guy. The most I can achieve is a gender neutral act.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/14 "2001-04-14T23:37:45Z")
The other day I met a person who (as far as I could tell) was visually presenting a mildly butch female gender identity, but his name was Jake, he described himself as transgendered, and he wanted us to call him “him” (which is fine).
Why does this confuse me? I feel so unevolved ☹
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/15 "2001-04-15T00:06:27Z")
Well Jake might have been a female to male transgender without access to or just starting horomonal treatments.
Or he could just be somewhere in between. Some transgendered people are in between male and female.
Oh and some people think that their questions are offensive. They are not in any way shape or form. They aren’t dumb either. Generally questioning someones sexuality is designed to be offensive, but I made this thread specifically for that purpose. The only dumb question is the one that is unasked:)
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### Author:  [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/16 "2001-04-15T00:10:13Z")
**Asmodean** - I’ve tried to e-mail you some questions, but your mail seems to bounce. Can you try mailing me? (although I may not be able to respond for a bit, as I’m leaving for Poland in 12 hours or so)
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/17 "2001-04-15T00:24:19Z")
Done Anthracite
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/18 "2001-04-15T00:34:20Z")
I’m still a bit confused; You say “the best you can acheive is a gender-neutral act.” Do you mean that you don’t really look like a woman, or do you mean that you don’t really look like a man? Do you prefer to be called “he” or “she.”
Are there any circumstances where you choose to present youself as the other gender? When?
Does your family know you are transsexual? If so, when did you tell them and how did they take it?
Thanks in advance.
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/19 "2001-04-15T01:02:05Z")
Well to answer most of your questions I am closeted basically. I have tried to present myself as the other gender, but not where anyone could see. The act is just a thing I do to avoid attracting attention to myself, and is entirely mental.
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transgendered-person/61905/20 "2001-04-15T01:39:30Z")
So then, Asmodean, I take it you haven’t started taking estrogen? (If you’re “closeted”, this of course means you haven’t started the one year real-life trial mandated by the Standards of Care in the U.S. prior to getting surgery. But one of the two people I knew who got sex-reassignment surgery said she started taking female hormones while “she” was still a “he” to the world, and continued to do so for several months until the hormones started having a real effect.)
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