# Ask the Transsexual Woman **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 29, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416 "2013-12-29T17:32:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/481 "2014-02-13T19:37:49Z")
I see that Facebook is adding a [whole bunch of new gender options](http://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_25134403/new-gender-options-facebook-users). Very cool. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/482 "2014-02-14T22:49:05Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > I see that Facebook is adding a [whole bunch of new gender options](http://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_25134403/new-gender-options-facebook-users). Very cool. I wish I could say I was surprised to see a lot of negative reactions, [such as those from Fox News, reported here.](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/14/fox-news-gender-facebook-options_n_4790243.html) I even heard two people behind me, father and son, in the rows of chairs at the DMV talk about it and make a couple of jokes directed towards “the trannies” when CNN came on with a short news report. Ironically, I caught “dad” checking out my legs several times, as I had an above-the-knee skirt and high heels… ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/483 "2014-02-14T23:44:48Z")
One thing I do kind of have to wonder about, though, is why they need to have so many variations on the same thing. I understand that there are a lot of different terms to refer to a lot of different gender options, but is there really any appreciable difference between “Cis Female,” “Cis Woman,” “Cisgender Female,” and “Cisgender Woman”? Wouldn’t one of those have sufficed as a list item? It seems like there’s a lot of redundancy in the [list](http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2014/02/13/facebook_custom_gender_options_here_are_all_56_custom_options.html). Although I suppose since you can type in anything you want, it really doesn’t matter too much what they include on the list. ---
**Author:** ![computergeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@computergeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/computergeek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/484 "2014-02-15T02:39:28Z")
I was rather surprised at the Facebook thing, particularly. after listening to Una, that transsexuals would want to identify themselves. I would think only a tiny number would do that. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/485 "2014-02-15T03:39:56Z")
Una, I thought you might be interested in [this column](http://captainawkward.com/2014/02/14/548-i-met-a-cool-person-to-flirt-with-and-im-scared-of-what-to-do-next/). In general, I think that Captain Awkward’s advice is almost always solid, but I’m curious what your opinion is in this case. ---
**Author:** ![computergeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@computergeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/computergeek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/486 "2014-02-15T04:02:37Z")
On my last post, that should have been “transsexuals would _not_ want to identify themselves” ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/487 "2014-02-15T05:45:31Z")
> [@computergeek](#): > > I was rather surprised at the Facebook thing, particularly. after listening to Una, that transsexuals would want to identify themselves. I would think only a tiny number would do that. 1. Many of us don’t think of Facebook as being as open as it is. Clueless Facebook users. 2. Most of the people who are going to use this are genderqueer people. A poll over the last day of about 30 transwomen I know shows NONE are going to select anything other than “female.” A transman friend active in the community doubts any transman will choose anything other than “male.” 3. Many transpeople have multiple Facebook pages - one for their “drab life”, one for their “trans life.” ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2014, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/488 "2014-02-15T05:53:31Z")
> [@ENugent](#): > > Una, I thought you might be interested in [this column](http://captainawkward.com/2014/02/14/548-i-met-a-cool-person-to-flirt-with-and-im-scared-of-what-to-do-next/). In general, I think that Captain Awkward’s advice is almost always solid, but I’m curious what your opinion is in this case. I get a little doubtful when I read things like this: > [@](#): > > I’m trans but lodged squarely in the back of the closet (assigned and currently perceived as a guy, wholeheartedly wishing otherwise as a girl). I can’t imagine myself going through with transition though because I have extremely negative self-image, and the first person to laugh at me would crush what remains of my misbegotten soul. I’ll respond as if I’m giving advice: I doubt you, dear writer, have a good idea of your gender identity. You are either having a mild bit of gender dysphoria, or who are genderqueer. Transpeople stay in the closet mainly due to fear of job loss, family and friend rejection, expulsion from school, violence, rape, and murder. “Laughs” shouldn’t enter into the equation so much. It also sounds like you’re self-diagnosed. You’re overthinking it, like the column says. You don’t have a good handle on what you are. Date the girl - don’t wear your dysphoria on your sleeve, but don’t be deceptive. You need to figure out a lot of things, like everyone does. I’ll bet this girl needs to figure some things out as well. So don’t treat dating like you’re going to be walking down the aisle in a month or two, and just relax. ---
**Author:** ![Kiyoshi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e19adc/32.png) [@Kiyoshi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiyoshi)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/489 "2014-02-16T08:38:20Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > 1. Most of the people who are going to use this are genderqueer people. A poll over the last day of about 30 transwomen I know shows NONE are going to select anything other than “female.” A transman friend active in the community doubts any transman will choose anything other than “male.” My trans friends and I have said the same thing. One thing I would mention, though, is the addition of “they” as a pronoun option. I definitely would have used this, back when I was only out as trans to a select few people. For whatever reason, the new options aren’t available in the UK yet. But from what I’ve seen in the news, the list is very strange and redundant. The “cis” options in particular are very odd – who is actually going to use those? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/490 "2014-02-16T14:53:23Z")
> [@Kiyoshi](#): > > But from what I’ve seen in the news, the list is very strange and redundant. The “cis” options in particular are very odd – who is actually going to use those? I can only imagine someone trying to make a point would go with a cisgendered label. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/491 "2014-02-16T15:56:24Z")
I would have said “none,” but recently, like in the last couple of weeks, I’ve met a few people who started calling themselves “cis.” Maybe it will spread like the latest fashion; “Cis is the new trans!” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/492 "2014-02-17T11:13:09Z")
Is “cis” pronounced like “sis” or “kiss”? I’ve been assuming it’s the former but thought I’d check. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/493 "2014-02-17T13:37:59Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > Is “cis” pronounced like “sis” or “kiss”? I’ve been assuming it’s the former but thought I’d check. Like “sis.” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2014, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/494 "2014-02-17T22:29:24Z")
Una I don’t know whether to thank you for starting this thread and giving me hope for humanity, or curse you because that hope was false. 😛 Seriously, thank you for doing such a consistent job of trying to fight ignorance…It’s heartening. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/495 "2014-02-18T00:50:34Z")
> [@Kamino\_Neko](#): > > Una I don’t know whether to thank you for starting this thread and giving me hope for humanity, or curse you because that hope was false. 😛 > > Seriously, thank you for doing such a consistent job of trying to fight ignorance…It’s heartening. Thank you…I don’t understand the false hope part? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/496 "2014-02-18T02:02:26Z")
I just find it heartening to read this thread where people are actually willing to learn about trans issues. Then disappointing to go elsewhere and find things like anybody who doesn’t identify as cisgendered is accused of 'special snowflake’ism, and ‘cis’ is claimed as a slur. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/497 "2014-02-18T17:57:54Z")
Apropos of nothing, my voice training has worked out so well that it’s been nearly 3 months since anyone “sir’d” me on the phone. That’s actually a fairly big thing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/498 "2014-02-18T18:10:19Z")
Good job… ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/499 "2014-02-19T01:13:41Z")
Yay, that’s lovely! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416/500 "2014-03-20T02:24:31Z")
On a related note, here’s an online article [5 Shocking Realities of Being Transgender the Media Ignores](http://www.cracked.com/article_20997_5-shocking-realities-being-transgender-media-ignores.html). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-transsexual-woman/677416.md?page=26)