# Ask the....what the hell **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 19, 2002, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775 "2002-12-19T12:13:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/41 "2002-12-20T02:42:53Z")
Are there lasers in prison? Tax chickens? I enjoy these threads. ---
**Author:** ![SmileyDeath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SmileyDeath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmileyDeath)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/42 "2002-12-20T02:49:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stccrd \* > \*\*Down with all these stupid “ask the \” threads. > > Why do people do these stupid things? > > ENOUGH ALREADY! \*\* How do really big birds fly? Like penguins. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/43 "2002-12-20T03:52:20Z")
So, if it weren’t for our One Trick Pony[sup]TM[/sup], Esprix (who is in fact Hermie, the Elf who wanted to be a dentist), I would not be married to Weirddave. I got hooked on the boards because of an Ask the Gay Guy thread. But yeah, I’m there with the whole ENOUGH ALREADY. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/44 "2002-12-20T04:00:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*So, if it weren’t for our One Trick Pony[sup]TM[/sup], Esprix (who is in fact Hermie, the Elf who wanted to be a dentist), I would not be married to Weirddave. I got hooked on the boards because of an Ask the Gay Guy thread. But yeah, I’m there with the whole ENOUGH ALREADY. \*\* Oh, so you got yours and now to hell with the rest of us, right? Nice. Did it ever occur to you that some of us might be waiting for a similar opportunity? Sure, I sit around and mostly lurk, and pop up to make the occasional stupid one-line comment…but one of these days, someone’s gonna start an “Ask the single, intelligent, self-assured, red-headed middle-aged-geek-fetishist girl” thread, and I’m gonna _shine_. **SHINE** , I tell you! ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/45 "2002-12-20T05:10:18Z")
I was dying to post an “Ask the pirate who has a steering wheel down the front of his pants!” thread, but the whole thing has gotten a little out of hand. Besides, we all know what the first question would be. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/46 "2002-12-20T06:33:10Z")
So, how _did_ you get the steering wheel down your… Oh, sorry - wrong thread. Wouldn’t want to hijack! But oh, how I wish someone would start a thread where I could ask these important questions! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/47 "2002-12-20T06:36:13Z")
I really don’t think Hamadryad is gonna start an “Ask the…” thread. You’re probably outta luck there. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/48 "2002-12-20T06:56:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by particlewill \* > \*\*That was a \*Crossdressing]\*Lesbian Nazi nun. And her Midget pony. > It warms the heart to see love as true as that… \*\* Did she ever say what the 300 Bic razors and 55 gallon drum of rubbing alcohol were for? Missed the last part of the show. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/49 "2002-12-20T16:45:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by martin\_ibn\_martin \* > \*\*You are right. I started the thread on my third day on the boards. I should have searched around. I am such an asshat. > \*\* Asshat may be too harsh. Let’s go with “ButtocksBeret.” 😛 Sua ---
**Author:** ![martin\_ibn\_martin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@martin\_ibn\_martin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/martin_ibn_martin)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/50 "2002-12-21T04:46:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuaSponte \* > \*\*Asshat may be too harsh. Let’s go with “ButtocksBeret.” 😛 > > Sua \*\* Hiney chapeau? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/51 "2002-12-21T13:58:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **SuperGnat** _ > You mean someone here has dated a fundamentalist Wiccan ambidextrous soldier? He’s married, so I haven’t technically dated him, but one of my closest friends is pretty close. He’s a former fundamentalist who’s now a Wiccan and is a sailor who was a corpsman in the Navy. Close enough for you? I’m not sure how ambidextrous he is. Actually, I’ve found the "Ask the \_\_\_\_ " threads to be incredibly informative, especially **Esprix** ’s “Ask the Gay Guy” in all it’s incarnations and **martin\_ibn\_martin** ’s “Ask the Muslim Guy” thread. Welcome to the Board, by the way. What’s particularly neat is if there’s a question I’m too embarassed to ask, chances are someone else isn’t. **Esprix** , you’ve done a lot to dispel my ignorance. Thank you. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/52 "2002-12-21T15:38:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*What is your opinion of Eminem? \*\* Hey, I post here too you know.:mad: ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/53 "2002-12-21T15:41:32Z")
Could I make a suggestion? You can restate the topic of almost any thread that isn’t itself a question as an “Ask the \_\_\_\_\_”. To wit: “My philosphy senior paper has been nominated for an award!” becomes “Ask the person whose philosophy paper has been nominated for an award!” “I just got hit by a car. I think I’m in shock.” becomes “Ask the person who has just been hit by a car and who thinks he may be in shock.” So it’s not the idea of talking about oneself that people find objectionable, it’s the _format_ of the “Ask the \_\_\_\_\_” thread, where someone states a fact about themselves and expects people to ask questions. It wouldn’t do to ban these threads, because many of them have been informative and interesting, and besides, what specifically would be banned? The phrasing “Ask the”? Someone could just start a thread called “Is there anything you want to know about me, the Elvis impersonator? Because I’ll gladly answer any questions you might have.” No, people are reacting against the “Ask the \_\_\_\_\_” threads by starting obviously stupid ones, like the girl with the blister on her thumb. Why not confine all “Ask the \_\_\_\_\_” threads to MPSIMS? That way, it would be a foregone conclusion that the topic of the thread is either mundane or pointless or both, and people wouldn’t feel the need to smartassedly react against it by starting an even more mundane and pointless thread. I’m sure the mods are tired of closing these “protest” threads, and this might cut down on the number of people who feel the need to be wiseasses and start them. Just a suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/54 "2002-12-22T07:52:43Z")
Is anyone else just about ready to start an “Ask the moderator to close all the superfluous ‘Ask the’ threads” thread? I’m amazed that **Euty** hasn’t gone into a meltdown by now. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/55 "2002-12-22T08:55:38Z")
I was gonna start a "ask the Alaska guy part II " because I’d LIKE to do away with some misconceptions of this state. But I am so sick of ask the threads I decided not to. _Ask the person from a small town in Southeast Kansas_ **Ask the person from a small town in Southeast Kansas!!!** c’mon!!enough!!! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/56 "2002-12-22T13:18:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by reprise \* > \*\*Is anyone else just about ready to start an “Ask the moderator to close all the superfluous ‘Ask the’ threads” thread? I’m amazed that **Euty** hasn’t gone into a meltdown by now. \*\* Hey, **reprise** , why don’t you start a “Ask the person who’s pissed off about all the ‘Ask the \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Person’ threads.” ---
**Author:** ![SmileyDeath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SmileyDeath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmileyDeath)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/57 "2002-12-22T13:34:58Z")
Ask me or I will kill again. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/58 "2002-12-22T13:44:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SmileyDeath \* > \*\*Ask me or I will kill again. \*\* Pfft! Threats, **SmileyDeath** , mean nothing to Dopers who laugh at your words, and say – “Enough with th’ ‘Ask the-’ threads, already!!!” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/59 "2002-12-22T16:55:19Z")
I was going to start an “Ask the guy with opposable thumbs,” but I think I’ll wait a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775/60 "2002-12-22T17:41:48Z")
ask the guy who wants a prehensile tail really bad… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-what-the-hell/143775.md?page=4)