# ask the White guy who is married to the Black Woman **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844 "2010-02-21T03:45:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/1 "2010-02-21T03:45:05Z")
So in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=553002](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=553002)I promised to start a thread about my inter-racial marriage. I am an Italian American from the NYC area, originally, who is married to a Black woman from NE North Carolina. So actually we break a bunch of stereotypes : Black/White, Northern/Southern, and Urban/Rural, as well as Catholic/Protestant (is Baptist considered Protestant?) Conservative(although lately I have realized that I am more Libertarian)/Liberal, and probably other dichotomes (sp?) I can’t think of. One thing that I really want to say is that when I am with her, I do get a little “Black by association”. I am more accepted among black people, and white people look at me weird. I can truly say that I see racism now in places that I never saw it before. So ask away! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/2 "2010-02-21T03:53:10Z")
Where and how did y’all meet? ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/3 "2010-02-21T03:54:12Z")
Baptists are most definitely Protestants. How’d you meet? Any kids? How do they get treated by others? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/4 "2010-02-21T04:00:51Z")
Have you always had a thing for black chicks? ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/5 "2010-02-21T04:26:35Z")
Did you see Good Hair? Does she mind if you touch her hair? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/6 "2010-02-21T04:29:27Z")
Was her being black a plus, a minus or neutral to your attraction to her? How black is she- fairly light-skinned, average, or dark? Did she have any reservations about going with a white guy? Is she ok with being called “black” or does she prefer African-American? 😛 Did she introduce you to any customs that were new to you? (food, holiday traditions, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/7 "2010-02-21T04:31:46Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Where and how did y’all meet? We both belong to the same Service Fraternity, Alpha Phi Omega. We met at a convention in Phoenix. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/8 "2010-02-21T04:33:45Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Baptists are most definitely Protestants. > > How’d you meet? Any kids? How do they get treated by others? We have one son. He is eight. Since he goes to a public school in military housing, interracial kids are much more common than elsewhere, so he barely notices. The kids don’t care, some of the parents are surprised. The biggest reaction we get is from school administration. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/9 "2010-02-21T04:35:08Z")
You left out male/female 😉 Speaking of which, do the other dichotomies make that one more complicated or do they make it easier? ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/10 "2010-02-21T04:35:16Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Have you always had a thing for black chicks? h is the second black girl I dated. I find “differentness” attractive, so while I don’t have a thing for black chicks, I would rather someone who isn’t the same as me. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/11 "2010-02-21T04:36:00Z")
> [@tonyfop](#): > > The biggest reaction we get is from school administration. Care to elaborate about this? ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/12 "2010-02-21T04:36:20Z")
> [@enomaj](#): > > Did you see Good Hair? Does she mind if you touch her hair? Haven’t seen Good Hair. I like to touch her hair, she doesn’t like it. Her hair is very brittle. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/13 "2010-02-21T04:36:26Z")
Does she know you started this thread? Are your families cool with your being married to each other? ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/14 "2010-02-21T04:41:09Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Was her being black a plus, a minus or neutral to your attraction to her? > > How black is she- fairly light-skinned, average, or dark? > > Did she have any reservations about going with a white guy? > > Is she ok with being called “black” or does she prefer African-American? 😛 > > Did she introduce you to any customs that were new to you? (food, holiday traditions, etc.) It is neutral. I tell people I didn’t marry a black woman, I married the woman I love, she just happens to be black. She is medum skinned. Her family knew she would wind up with a white guy. She dated several members of the Syracuse football team, all white. She prefers Black. She’s never been to Africa 😛 Yes, all of the stereotypical foods such as fried chicken and ocra and collard greens, as well as stereotypical southern food such as grits. Not to much on the customs, however. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/15 "2010-02-21T04:42:13Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > You left out male/female 😉 > > Speaking of which, do the other dichotomies make that one more complicated or do they make it easier? No, they all make life interesting. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/16 "2010-02-21T04:45:30Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Does she know you started this thread? > > Are your families cool with your being married to each other? No she doesn’t. She thinks that all the Dope does is fill my insatiable appatite for trivia. Her mom loves me. The rest of her family likes me. My parents do not like her, and the feeling is reciprocal. That is the biggest problem in my life, balancing my responsibilities to my parents with my responsibiliity to her. My wife wins most of the time, and my mom plays the guilt card so much that it does nothing anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/17 "2010-02-21T07:28:36Z")
So whats the deal with your parents… are their beefs concrete? And is the problem one with your mother in particular? If its primarily driven by your mother… do you feel that she’s reacting to possibly a feeling she has that you have rejected her by marrying/loving a woman who doesn’t resemble her?? ``` I've heard this argument frequently in the black community.. in fact i remember Louis Farrakhan goin in depth on it.. Theirs a perception that if one marries out of race the corresponding sex/parent is being rejected.. BTW have you had the experience my brother had..he was pickin up his stepdaughter from school and they kept trying to give him the little black boy.. that was pretty funny when he told me.. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/18 "2010-02-21T07:42:28Z")
> [@tonyfop](#): > > One thing that I really want to say is that when I am with her, I do get a little “Black by association”. I am more accepted among black people, and white people look at me weird. I can truly say that I see racism now in places that I never saw it before. Elaborate please. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/19 "2010-02-21T08:47:50Z")
ask the White guy who is married to the Black Woman. “the” white guy who is married to “the” black woman? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844/20 "2010-02-21T09:00:50Z")
> [@Claude\_Remains](#): > > ask the White guy who is married to the Black Woman. > > “the” white guy who is married to “the” black woman? :dubious: No different from any other “Ask the…” thread. I once participated in an “Ask the mathematician thread”, and I assure you, neither the OP of that thread nor I nor anyone else ever intended to imply that there was only one mathematician in the world. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-white-guy-who-is-married-to-the-black-woman/529844.md?page=2)