# Ask the woman with stage 4 colon cancer! \[update - Maggie has passed away\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 16, 2015, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509 "2015-09-16T21:34:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Blackstock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@Blackstock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackstock)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/61 "2015-10-29T07:30:10Z")
1. Own sister was diagnosed with the same, at a late stage, after the disease had taken the Lymphatic Express to Lungland, Peritonia, Liverland and the provinces. 2. Was 31 years and 9 months old at time of diagnosis in January 2014. 3. Undergone chemotherapy every 14 days. 4. Deteriorated badly as of October 2014. 5. Passed away February 2015 at the age of 32 years and 10 months. 6. Loved and remembered. Good luck, I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/62 "2015-10-29T07:44:34Z")
Well, to balance that, a friend whom my uncle worked with at JPL in the 70’s was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer and given a very poor prognosis. He’s still alive today. Every case is different. Your case is unique, as you are. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/63 "2015-10-29T11:08:31Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I _could_ take a medical retirement - but honestly I can’t afford to. As I said, I’m the breadwinner for my little family, and I need to build and save my pension and conserve the savings I do have so Husband has something to live on after I’m gone. > > For the same reason, I’m not planning on doing a lot of extravagant “bucket list” stuff. It seems foolish and irresponsible to waste that money on experiences for someone who’s gonna die soon, instead of saving it for the needs of those who will have to continue on for decades afterwards, y’know? I totally understand that. Part of doing that fun stuff is about building up enjoyable memories to look back on, right? Not a lot of use if you don’t have a lot of future in which to have memories. Sometimes leaving the people you love with a more secure future will make you happier than seeing the Grand Canyon or whatever, and will probably wear you out less, too. It’s not actually being a great martyr or anything, it’s just being a normal, nice human being who wants people to be happy and also knows that their cancer meds mean that they would probably puke in a helicopter and not actually enjoy it at all. Maybe that’s where the term bucket list came from - things you wanted to do, but would now make you puke. I will also check my poop more carefully from now on. That can be your legacy - making internet people look at their shit. 😃 If it prolongs lives, even just one, then that’s a pretty fucking awesome legacy. I hope you live a lot longer than you expect, but also that you extract as much joy from your remaining time as you can. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/64 "2015-10-29T15:28:01Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > What have you learned about Kaiser policies, re: > > – Medical MJ? Can you get a Rx for this from any Kaiser doctor? > > – Assisted suicide, now that it’s legal? Does Kaiser allow this? > > – Palliative care? Does Kaiser offer a good, strong, _aggressive palliative_ care program? > > Or would you have to go outside of Kaiser if you wanted any of these things? > > ETA: Do you know if any of these things (or high-quality medical care) are equally available to Kaiser’s Medicare patients, compared to private-paying patients or patients with employer plans? I’m a Kaiser Medicare member, and my sense is that the care available to Medicare patients is a little bit superficial and perfunctory in some areas. But that’s just for basic routine care. I don’t know anything about how thorough their care is for patients with serious medical problems. Kaiser won’t give Medical MJ scrips, but I found a nice specialist doctor who gave me no guff whatsoever. It cost $60 for the visit/scrip. I haven’t asked them about the Assisted Suicide bill. I’ll do more investigation when/if things get worse. Palliative Care - this I know second-hand, because my grandparents had Kaiser all their lives. The Palliative Care/Hospice from Kaiser was excellent. They were able to live out the end of their lives at home, with daily visits from a carer and weekly visits from a nurse. We were lucky in that they weren’t in much pain as they passed - not from anything much specific other than being old - but they helped the family out a great deal. I assume they were on the Medicare program. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/65 "2015-10-29T22:27:43Z")
Well damn, Maggie. Yeah, that’s about all I got. Apart from good wishes and all that. Rats. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/66 "2015-10-30T02:59:28Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Hey, glad to hear things are looking up even though things are still shitty. What he said. ---
**Author:** ![DeepLiquid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deepliquid/32/14893_2.png) [@DeepLiquid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeepLiquid)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/67 "2015-10-30T06:42:02Z")
Gotta say, love your 'tude. We all have to face our end, but very few seem to do it with humor and style, kudos. Glad to hear the big C is relenting a bit, your chemo sounds rough so having the holidays without feeling like shit is a nice bonus! ---
**Author:** ![bare](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bare/32/471_2.png) [@bare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bare)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/68 "2015-10-30T10:43:19Z")
There’s always hope. Fourteen months ago, I faced the same diagnosis. My case became apparent through a fistula where the colon connected to and perforated my stomach wall. Took a month or more of misery to diagnose what was actually happening. When they did, things moved quick. CT scan, three months of chemo, surgery in January and chemo ever since. Oncologist suggested it might go on for a couple years while they keep checking me for re occurrence. Tumor was completely removed and chemo cleaned up what could be seen. Thought I was going to get a clean bill of health. Now I guess what the treatment is called is Maintenance Chemo. Avastin is the only IV and I take capecitabin twice a day for two weeks on, one week off. I have to say, I pretty much lucked out all the way around. I was what they classified as “medically avoidant” which might be an understatement. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was treated at all times with dignity, respect and understanding. Very little reaction to chemo except for cold sensitivity. They were prompt to deal with the nausea when I finally complained about it. I have a couple of big bags of meds that were prescribed that I mostly didn’t have to take. I feel like a million bucks! (probably cost nearly that much too) Better and more active than I’ve been in years. My colon cancer was definitely genetically related. My mother had it, and survived that, and later breast cancer for twenty years. She warned me at the time that hers was genetic and I needed to start colonoscopy’s annually. I ignored it obviously. Mine is Lynch Disease. Now I’m doing my best to encourage my own children to get tested. They each have a 50% chance of having the same gene. Geeze, you’d think after watching me go through all that crap, they’d be a little more concerned about their own mortality. It’s something we talk about constantly, but none have made an appointment to have it tested or the procedure done. Hang in there Maggie, I’m hoping you have a lot of life left in ya yet. It’s amazing the improvements they’ve made in prognosis the last twenty years. My mom suffered probably 10 years after her radiation treatments, until they discovered that they’d fried part of her colon. Snip, snip and in a couple months, she was dancing again. My only complaints now, besides having to drive 300 miles every two or three weeks, is having to plan my entire life around a toilet because of the chemo drugs. The best part, besides still kicking, is that I can eat cheese again! Peanut butter too. I’d given those up for a couple years prior to diagnosis. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/69 "2015-10-30T10:57:54Z")
I don’t have a question so much as a piece of advice: if you do have any bucket list-y things that you’re intent on doing, don’t put them off. Not because you might go suddenly, but because it’ll be gradual. Your stamina & strength are probably going to start to fade long before the actual end, and “two years” doesn’t mean “two years to do the stuff you still want to do” – it’s possible you’d spend most of that time pretty home-bound. (And, of course, maybe not.) Shit, I’m sorry this sounds so depressing. Good luck, and don’t be shy about asking for pain meds, even when you don’t really need them. Cancer’s run roughshod over my immediate family the past two years, so I can at least assure you you’re in good company. ---
**Author:** ![MrFloppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@MrFloppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFloppy)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/70 "2015-10-30T14:57:07Z")
That’s one sobering story. I wish you the best Maggie. You sound like a wonderful person. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2015, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/71 "2015-10-30T16:32:03Z")
That really is encouraging news. Enjoy your holiday to its fullest! Best of wishes to you. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2015, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/72 "2015-10-31T01:05:10Z")
Thanks for the update! Especially since it’s a happy one. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/73 "2015-10-31T19:10:30Z")
I’m glad to hear good news! It sounds awful, but I really kind of want my doctor to talk me into a colonoscopy. I know I should go, but I’m a big chicken. I don’t do humiliation, medical or otherwise, well. My neighbor has Crohns and she has at least 2 colonoscopies a year. She’s much braver than me. StG ---
**Author:** ![wellanuff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@wellanuff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wellanuff)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/74 "2015-10-31T19:21:27Z")
I just found this thread, and I now have a new role model for how to face up to a health crisis. Who knew ocelots were so cool under pressure? ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/75 "2015-11-01T02:59:11Z")
So glad to hear the good news, **Maggie!!** ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/76 "2015-11-05T14:45:32Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I’m glad to hear good news! It sounds awful, but I really kind of want my doctor to talk me into a colonoscopy. I know I should go, but I’m a big chicken. I don’t do humiliation, medical or otherwise, well. My neighbor has Crohns and she has at least 2 colonoscopies a year. She’s much braver than me. > > StG There’s no humiliation whatsoever with a colonoscopy unless you opt to do it without sedation. Plus, where else will you ever go where you’re ENCOURAGED to fart loudly and often :D. From [this link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18167605&postcount=30) (disclaimer: a lengthy writeup I did on the topic): QUIT BEING A WUSS AND GET THE DAMN THING DONE ALREADY, YA PANSY-ASS CHICKEN!!! That last bit is not targeted at you personally, rather at anyone who’s resistant to the idea out of fear. I’m at the point where I’d be in pretty bad shape had they not gotten things early - that first scope was just over 5 years ago. If you’re in the target age range, or are younger but having symptoms, don’t put it off. ---
**Author:** ![Barrett\_Bonden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@Barrett\_Bonden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrett_Bonden)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/77 "2015-11-05T15:59:25Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Hey, glad to hear things are looking up even though things are still shitty. > [@Typo\_Knig](#): > > What he said. Couldn’t have put it better. Thanks for the update! ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/78 "2015-11-06T03:22:13Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > Thanks for the update! Especially since it’s a happy one. Ditto!!! ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/79 "2015-11-06T06:22:53Z")
I know this isn’t a \*hugs" kind of place but… have a hug or a piece of chocolate, a massage or whatever makes you feel good and takes you away for the moment. Whatever you choose I am sending to you virtually. Speaking of virtual… I know you are against doing a bucket list. But have you considered doing a daily virtual bucket list? Pick things that you would love, like, be kind of interested in and spend an hour looking at youtube videos, blogs or images exploring the subjects. Might not be as fun at the moment as actually going but could provide dream fodder (if you are a dreamer), might distract you from worry or pain and, if you are as strong as your Nym implies,… maybe someday you’ll see in person the things you just view for now. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509/80 "2015-11-06T07:26:52Z")
I didn’t see this thread before now Maggie. By damn! you are impressive. I didn’t get a clue you were facing anything like this in recent posts and now reading this thread you are just incredible facing this with dignity and courage like this. I wish all the very best for you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-the-woman-with-stage-4-colon-cancer-update-maggie-has-passed-away/731509.md?page=5)