# Ask Torgo!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 24, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429 "2000-06-24T22:39:54Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/1 "2000-06-24T22:39:54Z")

</div>

This thread is intended as a forum for people to ask Torgo anything Torgo-related.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/2 "2000-06-24T22:42:20Z")

</div>

Torgo, how do you handle the awesome weight and responsibility of being Torgo?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/3 "2000-06-24T22:44:19Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo, how do you handle the awesome weight and responsibility of being Torgo?
> 
> \*\*

Thanks for asking, Torgo. It is not easy being Torgo. One must become educated in all things Torgo and acquire a unique enlightenment, a kind of “Torgoana” if you will. It’s not for everyone

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/4 "2000-06-24T22:45:34Z")

</div>

Torgo, your physical attractiveness and sexual stamina is legendary. How do you do it?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/5 "2000-06-24T22:47:43Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo, your physical attractiveness and sexual stamina is legendary. How do you do it?  
> \*\*

Thanks for asking, Torgo. A steady diet of Honey Nut Cheerios and taco sauce does the trick (or “tricks”, I should say!)

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![JLPicard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/858c86/32.png) [@JLPicard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JLPicard)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/6 "2000-06-24T22:48:36Z")

</div>

Torgo what do you do while the master is away?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/7 "2000-06-24T22:48:58Z")

</div>

Torgo, what’s the REAL story behind you and Angelina Jolie?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/8 "2000-06-24T22:50:10Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo, what’s the REAL story behind you and Angelina Jolie?  
> \*\*

Heh heh! Let’s just say that after a night with Torgo, Miss Angelina pretty much forgot all about her brother!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/9 "2000-06-24T22:51:37Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo what do you do while the master is away?  
> \*\*

SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE JLPICARD! ONLY TORGO MAY TALK!

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/10 "2000-06-24T22:52:47Z")

</div>

Torgo-- is it true that you were once arrested in Ulan Battor for committing an indecent act in public with a blow-up Kathy Lee doll?

Is it true that your spleen is cunningly engraved with the 7 ancient Chinese sacriliges of Tsao-Tsao? Can I open you up to read them? Do you open yourself up on holidays & read them on public access television?

What was the date on which you were thrown out of a Turkish prison; on the grounds that you were “just too disgusting to keep around the place”?

Can I have a nickel?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/11 "2000-06-24T22:52:58Z")

</div>

Torgo, do you know any good pasta recipes?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/12 "2000-06-24T22:58:31Z")

</div>

\<\<\<Torgo-- is it true that you were once arrested in Ulan Battor for committing an indecent act in public with a blow-up Kathy Lee doll?\>\>\>\>\>

Yes, my Cathy Lee Crosby doll has gotten me into many a scrape with the local constabulary.

\<\<\<Is it true that your spleen is cunningly engraved with the 7 ancient Chinese sacriliges of Tsao-Tsao? Can I open you up to read them? Do you open yourself up on holidays & read them on public access television?\>\>\>\>

Torgo donated his spleen to Mankato State University many years ago and knows nothing of your peculiar “yellow-man” religions.

\<\<\<What was the date on which you were thrown out of a Turkish prison; on the grounds that you were “just too disgusting to keep around the place”?\>\>\>\>

That was May 9th of this year and Torgo was thrown out, not because he was disgusting, but because he kept on buggering his cellmate…of course, that doesn’t mean Torgo is gay.

\<\<\<\<Can I have a nickel?\>\>\>

Lick my nuts, freak.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/13 "2000-06-24T23:02:01Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo, do you know any good pasta recipes?
> 
> \*\*

1 lb. pasta  
1 1/2 lbs. roma tomatoes, chopped  
6 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil  
1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped  
5 oz. goat cheese  
4 oz. feta cheese

Boil the pasta and mix the rest in a large bowl. Drain pasta and immediately dump into bowl with the rest of the raw sauce (the hot pasta will melt the cheeses). Serve immediately.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/14 "2000-06-24T23:04:16Z")

</div>

Torgo, what’s your workout routine?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/15 "2000-06-24T23:07:00Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo, what’s your workout routine?  
> \*\*

MON: Biceps, back, cardio  
TUE: Cardio  
WED: Chest, tris, shoulders, cardio  
THU: Cardio  
FRI: Legs, cardio

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/16 "2000-06-24T23:10:59Z")

</div>

Torgo, isn’t it odd for a 34 year old man to sit at his place of work, typing in questions on a message board and then answering them himself, with no attempt to use a falsified screen name so at least it doesn’t look like he’s completely insane?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/17 "2000-06-24T23:12:16Z")

</div>

Somehow, I expected the workout schedule to look like: MON-knees TUE-knees WED-knees…

Torgo, why do you look like a chainsaw sculpture?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/18 "2000-06-24T23:12:22Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo, isn’t it odd for a 34 year old man to sit at his place of work, typing in questions on a message board and then answering them himself, with no attempt to use a falsified screen name so at least it doesn’t look like he’s completely insane?  
> \*\*

So you think I’m insane, eh? Well Torgo doesn’t care WHAT you think, even if you are me.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/19 "2000-06-24T23:14:27Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> Torgo, why do you look like a chainsaw sculpture?  
> \*\*

Why do you look like a big dumb poopyhead?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Torgo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@Torgo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torgo)\
**Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429/20 "2000-06-24T23:49:24Z")

</div>

Torgo, Janeane Garofalo or shellfish?

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-torgo/23429.md?page=2)