# Ask Winston's Co-Workers... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678 "2005-12-08T15:19:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/1 "2005-12-08T15:19:13Z")
Yes. That’s right! Ask me, then I’ll randomly select one of my many co-workers to pass your question along to. A little bit about me and my company: I’m a senior systems engineer for a software company in Eastern Massachusetts. In the interest of anonymity, I can’t tell you what type of software we write, because we have few competitors in our niche, and we are thus fairly well known. Nonetheless. I’ve only been with the company since the end of August, so perhaps this will be a good opportunity for me to meet people. Let’s proceed, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/2 "2005-12-08T15:48:23Z")
What are you doing this weekend? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/3 "2005-12-08T15:55:58Z")
Comparisons between apples & oranges can be made on the basis of weight, mass, shape, color, calories, taste, spectral analysis, &c. Yet, people still use the hack cliché about how we can’t compare apples with oranges. Why do people use such an obviously flawed metaphor, especially when comparing some situation to apples & oranges is just a self-defeating instance of comparing apples to oranges? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/4 "2005-12-08T16:03:09Z")
What does **Winston Smith** smell like? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/5 "2005-12-08T16:06:36Z")
In my old job, I had the task of cleaning the areas where draftsmen and engineers toiled. Both groups were messier than the rest of the building. The draftsmen seemed to start each day by scattering paperclips and rubberbands, just like a sumo scatters salt around the ring to purify it. The engineers were a little better, but there were crumbs and candy wrappers everywhere. Every crevice had rolled up drawings stuffed into it, and two or three samples of the thing that guy was working on were under the desk along with a pair of shoes. Some of them kept a box of something heavy and broken next to the desk. On the other hand, nearly all of them were friendly, witty, and courteous. Is that the way it is in your office? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/6 "2005-12-08T16:13:56Z")
What’s the stupidest thing that **Winston Smith** has ever said or done? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/7 "2005-12-08T16:26:30Z")
Has **Winston** ever referred to you as his “cow-orker”? Did you strike him, in response? Would you _like to_ strike him in response? Would you like me to hold your coat for you, whilst you strike him in response? Which pocket of your coat do you keep your billfold in? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/8 "2005-12-08T16:27:05Z")
Does anyone in your office think sex with sheep is fun? ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/9 "2005-12-08T16:28:53Z")
Are you aware that **Winston** follows you home and watches you through your windows? ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/10 "2005-12-08T16:56:11Z")
The last time you called in sick, what were you really doing? ---
**Author:** ![Motorgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@Motorgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Motorgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/11 "2005-12-08T17:19:54Z")
What’s in your cube-neighbor’s trash can RIGHT NOW? If you don’t live in the cube farm and don’t have easy access to your neighbor’s trash can - what’s for lunch today? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/12 "2005-12-08T18:21:08Z")
> [@Wartime Consigliori](#): > > What are you doing this weekend? I asked _Alex_, a DBA that reports to the same guy two levels up from me. HEr english isn’t great, but she’s kind of cute and flirty. She’s got a friend coming in from out of town to do some sightseeing around Boston. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/13 "2005-12-08T18:22:13Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > Comparisons between apples & oranges can be made on the basis of weight, mass, shape, color, calories, taste, spectral analysis, &c. Yet, people still use the hack cliché about how we can’t compare apples with oranges. Why do people use such an obviously flawed metaphor, especially when comparing some situation to apples & oranges is just a self-defeating instance of comparing apples to oranges? I asked _Bobby_, my boss. He said, “Yeah, that drives me crazy, too.” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/14 "2005-12-08T18:23:52Z")
Do they agree that this thread should be moved? Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/15 "2005-12-08T18:24:38Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > What does **Winston Smith** smell like? I asked _Mike_, my desktop support guy. He said I smell like Polo cologne and peanut butter. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/16 "2005-12-08T18:25:50Z")
What’s it like working there? Are you hoping for a promotion to the Ministry of Love? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/17 "2005-12-08T18:28:47Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I asked _Bobby_, my boss. He said, “Yeah, that drives me crazy, too.” Your boss sounds like a good guy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/18 "2005-12-08T18:28:51Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > In my old job, I had the task of cleaning the areas where draftsmen and engineers toiled. Both groups were messier than the rest of the building. The draftsmen seemed to start each day by scattering paperclips and rubberbands, just like a sumo scatters salt around the ring to purify it. > > The engineers were a little better, but there were crumbs and candy wrappers everywhere. Every crevice had rolled up drawings stuffed into it, and two or three samples of the thing that guy was working on were under the desk along with a pair of shoes. Some of them kept a box of something heavy and broken next to the desk. > > On the other hand, nearly all of them were friendly, witty, and courteous. > > Is that the way it is in your office? I asked _Tom_, a manager lateral to mine. He asked me when the SAN outage was going to be over. He didn’t specifically reply to your question. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/19 "2005-12-08T18:31:17Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > What’s the stupidest thing that **Winston Smith** has ever said or done? I asked _Manny_, the desktop guy that has been vying for my job the last couple months. He was rendered speechless. Then he asked me if I shouldn’t be in my office working on te SAN outage. Rookies. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/20 "2005-12-08T18:35:31Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Has **Winston** ever referred to you as his “cow-orker”? > Did you strike him, in response? > Would you _like to_ strike him in response? > Would you like me to hold your coat for you, whilst you strike him in response? > Which pocket of your coat do you keep your billfold in? I forwarded you question(s) to _Dave_, the engineer I work with. He’s on bereavement leave today, and taking a vacation day tomorrow, so I don’t expect to hear from him until next week. But I should warn you that he’s really bad about replying to email (from me) - (he’s threatened by me). If I don’t hear back from by tuesday, I’ll pass your question(s) along to someone else. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678.md?page=2)