# Ask Winston's Co-Workers... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678 "2005-12-08T15:19:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/41 "2005-12-08T21:01:17Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > So does that mean you’re going to ask Steve then? > Just kidding. Seriously, I wouldn’t expect anyone to ask a cow-orker that and risk being fired. I liked that you made Linda the HR director, though. Very clever! Well. I did it. I asked _Steve_ what color panties he’s wearing. We were in my boss’s office a minute ago, and he was complaining about a project I gave him. Yes. That’s right. I saw my opportunity, and I took it. _Steve_ …Complaing in general about the project and how he’s already got too much on his plate blah blah blah **Winston** : So, _Steve_ what color panties are you wearing today? _Steve_: rendered speechless. _Bobby_ (our boss): Laughing “Heh, yeah Steve. We’re all busy. Stop complaining.” SCORE! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![call911mfc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@call911mfc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/call911mfc)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/42 "2005-12-08T21:02:23Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I asked _Alex_, a DBA that reports to the same guy two levels up from me. HEr english isn’t great, but she’s kind of cute and flirty. She’s got a friend coming in from out of town to do some sightseeing around Boston. Is Alex single? Not that I have a shot or anything… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/43 "2005-12-08T21:07:14Z")
> [@wnorthr](#): > > Does Winston taste good like a cigarette should or as a cigarette should? Are we going to have a meeting about the SAN outage? I asked _Tom_ the thuggish manager I mentioned earlier. He actually smokes Winston _Lights_. I asked _Jay_, my boss’s boss, if we’re going to have a meeting about the SAN outage. He asked me if my lunch-time meeting with EMC was still on (it is), and told me to just send an email to update status and anything that might still be outstanding. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/44 "2005-12-08T21:10:13Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Seems like a good way to refer to a woman without panties. :: titter :: ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/45 "2005-12-08T21:18:01Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > What would you do if you had a million dollars? > > Uh, and about those TPS reports… how are those coming? I asked _Steve_ what he’d do if he had a million dollars (just to see if he’s still speaking to me). He said he’d “…quit workin’ at this f’in place, that’s for sure.” What a block-head. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/46 "2005-12-08T21:19:02Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Uh, and about those TPS reports… how are those coming? Yeah. I got the memo. I just forgot. But, it’s fixed now, so it’s not even a problem, ok? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/47 "2005-12-08T21:19:58Z")
Am I going to get the SAN before the system freeze? I mean, the guys at the data center told me they could get everything installed if you could get the SAN to them before the 15th, and you’ve been promising me this stuff for WEEKS. I’ll get you a business justification, I’ll get you signoff from Bigcheese, I’ll get permission from that other no-good department to steal theirs, hell, I’ll get you a peanut butter cheesecake, but for the love of god, get me that SAN _please_, because I’ve got three DBAs waiting to do their thing, not the least of which is installing Veritas because, for some reason, we don’t have any of the installation files here locally so they have to install it from the UK servers, and they’re telling me it’s gonna take 3 days. Speaking of which, could you ask the SA to tell me how he needs this crap broken up, because if the DBA calls me one more time for the file structure, I’m going to scream. (Seriously, I was having this exact conversation exactly a year ago) ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/48 "2005-12-08T21:24:34Z")
Would you do **Winston Smith**? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/49 "2005-12-08T21:26:37Z")
> [@call911mfc](#): > > Is Alex single? > Not that I have a shot or anything… :smack: Yeah she is. She’s really cute, too. I don’t even think the language thing would be an issue. But she’s too young for you, so forget it. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/50 "2005-12-08T21:29:20Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > Well. I did it. I asked _Steve_ what color panties he’s wearing. We were in my boss’s office a minute ago, and he was complaining about a project I gave him. Yes. That’s right. I saw my opportunity, and I took it. > > _Steve_ …Complaing in general about the project and how he’s already got too much on his plate blah blah blah > > **Winston** : So, _Steve_ what color panties are you wearing today? > > _Steve_: rendered speechless. > > _Bobby_ (our boss): Laughing “Heh, yeah Steve. We’re all busy. Stop complaining.” > > SCORE! 😃 Good times! Your story has just made my getting out of bed this morning worthwhile. Well done! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/51 "2005-12-08T21:37:39Z")
Is there a C++ programmer named Josh at your company? If there is, ask him how many numbers he can get from 5. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/52 "2005-12-08T21:42:40Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Am I going to get the SAN before the system freeze? I mean, the guys at the data center told me they could get everything installed if you could get the SAN to them before the 15th, and you’ve been promising me this stuff for WEEKS. I’ll get you a business justification, I’ll get you signoff from Bigcheese, I’ll get permission from that other no-good department to steal theirs, hell, I’ll get you a peanut butter cheesecake, but for the love of god, get me that SAN _please_, because I’ve got three DBAs waiting to do their thing, not the least of which is installing Veritas because, for some reason, we don’t have any of the installation files here locally so they have to install it from the UK servers, and they’re telling me it’s gonna take 3 days. > > Speaking of which, could you ask the SA to tell me how he needs this crap broken up, because if the DBA calls me one more time for the file structure, I’m going to scream. > > (Seriously, I was having this exact conversation exactly a year ago) Heh. We’re getting new SAN next year, so I’ve got to keep this one limping along till next summer. In the mean-time, I’ve got ZERO SAN experience coming into this, and my training thus far amounts to 90 minutes with a consultant in a group training exercise. So, a week from tomorrow, I’m leading a major code update on the SAN that will impact everything - including email. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/53 "2005-12-08T21:48:15Z")
What character from Dilbert is \*\*Winston Smith \*\* most like? ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/54 "2005-12-08T22:06:18Z")
Could God microwave a burrito _so hot_ that even he himself couldn’t eat it? How many armpit hairs do you have? ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/55 "2005-12-08T23:09:09Z")
Would you lend **Winston Smith** your place for a few hours next Thursday night? And is it a problem if he brings a, ahem, _friend_? And do you have a problem with your bed being used? What about if (we) clean up afterward? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/56 "2005-12-09T14:09:27Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > Is there a C++ programmer named Josh at your company? If there is, ask him how many numbers he can get from 5. _Josh_? There might be. I don’t know. The lady that works in the cafeteria says “five.” ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/57 "2005-12-09T14:12:06Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > What character from Dilbert is \*\*Winston Smith \*\* most like? _Bobby_ (my boss), “doesn’t know the characters.” _Anne_, the Senior Vice President of Finance, “doesn’t know me well enough to say.” For the record, it would be _Dogbert_. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/58 "2005-12-09T15:01:00Z")
Can any of you post to the board and verify that Winston hasn’t found a way around the sock puppet rule at The Straight Dope. Make him buy you a membership for Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/59 "2005-12-09T15:18:02Z")
> [@Harmonious Discord](#): > > Can any of you post to the board and verify that Winston hasn’t found a way around the sock puppet rule at The Straight Dope. Make him buy you a membership for Christmas. I asked [iJack Dean Tyler\*, our mail room intern. He said “Christmas is nothing but a Zionist plot to perpetuate the malicious disfigurement of male genitalia…” or something like that. I got distracted by something shiny and wandered off. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/60 "2005-12-09T15:19:20Z")
> [@Harmonious Discord](#): > > Can any of you post to the board and verify that Winston hasn’t found a way around the sock puppet rule at The Straight Dope. Make him buy you a membership for Christmas. I asked _Jack Dean Tyler_, our mail room intern. He said “Christmas is nothing but a Zionist plot to perpetuate the malicious disfigurement of male genitalia…” or something like that. I got distracted by something shiny and wandered off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678.md?page=4)