# Ask Winston's Co-Workers... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678 "2005-12-08T15:19:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/61 "2005-12-09T15:25:06Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Could God microwave a burrito **so hot** that even he himself couldn’t eat it? Holy moly. That is one funny question. Although, in reality god could just use his heat-ray eyes to warm the burrito. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/62 "2005-12-09T15:46:27Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Could God microwave a burrito _so hot_ that even he himself couldn’t eat it? > > How many armpit hairs do you have? I haven’t found a way to work the buritto question into casual conversation yet, so you’ll have to wait. But… I asked _Jim_, the network engineer in the office next to me, how many armpit hairs he has. He offered to let me count, but after some deliberation we decided it would be too difficult to determine where armpit hair ends and chest hair begins. He’s really friggin’ hairy. :: shudder :: I’m starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/63 "2005-12-09T16:18:17Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I’m starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. Are you kidding?[sup]\*[/sup] This is the best Ask-The tread yet! \*This is not a question directed to your co-workers. Thank you for understanding. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/64 "2005-12-09T16:29:37Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I haven’t found a way to work the buritto question into casual conversation yet, so you’ll have to wait. But… > > I asked _Jim_, the network engineer in the office next to me, how many armpit hairs he has. He offered to let me count, but after some deliberation we decided it would be too difficult to determine where armpit hair ends and chest hair begins. He’s really friggin’ hairy. :: shudder :: > > I’m starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. Please ask a co-worker what you have against Hairy IT guys named Jim? Jim Sr. Programmer/Analyst ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/65 "2005-12-09T16:35:33Z")
What would you _really_ do for a Klondike bar? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/66 "2005-12-09T16:53:28Z")
Dear **Winston** ’s Coworkers: Has he shown you the thread that will forever be linked to **Hal Briston**? Has it given you any ideas? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/67 "2005-12-09T17:54:50Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > Would you lend **Winston Smith** your place for a few hours next Thursday night? And is it a problem if he brings a, ahem, _friend_? And do you have a problem with your bed being used? What about if (we) clean up afterward? Goodness. Are you propositioning me? Ahem. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/68 "2005-12-09T17:59:56Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Could God microwave a burrito _so hot_ that even he himself couldn’t eat it? Well, I finally broke down, since the suspense was _killing_ me, and I asked _Steve_. His answer: “No.” ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/69 "2005-12-09T18:03:33Z")
> [@The Weird One](#): > > Is there a C++ programmer named Josh at your company? If there is, ask him how many numbers he can get from 5. This has been nagging at me, since I was not entirely satisfied with the lunch lady’s answer. So I asked _Michael_, the guy who’s office is on the other side of the guy next to me. I’m not sure what he does around here, but he claims to know C++. His response can be described as _annoyed befuddlement_. He indicated it sounds like a b.s. question. Was I set up, here? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/70 "2005-12-09T18:07:53Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > Please ask a co-worker what you have against Hairy IT guys named Jim? > > Jim Sr. Programmer/Analyst I’ll do ya one better. (look down) ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/71 "2005-12-09T18:21:06Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > Goodness. Are you propositioning me? > > Ahem. I can’t answer that until you ask a coworker the question. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/72 "2005-12-09T18:22:58Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I’ll do ya one better. (look down) I’m an idiot. Look down now. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/73 "2005-12-09T18:24:51Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > I can’t answer that until you ask a coworker the question. 😃 All right. _Steve’s_ game, but he made me agree to walk, bathe, and feed his dogs afterwards. He’s got darts on Thursdays, and as long as I’m out of there by midnight, he really doesn’t care. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/74 "2005-12-09T18:41:26Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > All right. _Steve’s_ game, but he made me agree to walk, bathe, and feed his dogs afterwards. He’s got darts on Thursdays, and as long as I’m out of there by midnight, he really doesn’t care. OK, fair enough. I asked Mr. Wanna, and he said, “Not **just** no…” Sorry. But you could still go to “_Steve’s_” and have some fun…with his doggies. Ask him what kind they are. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/75 "2005-12-09T18:43:45Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > OK, fair enough. I asked Mr. Wanna, and he said, “Not **just** no…” > > Sorry. But you could still go to “_Steve’s_” and have some fun…with his doggies. Ask him what kind they are. It’s just as well. I don’t think SmithWife would go for it either. 😃 I asked _Steve_ what kind of dogs he’s got. He said “the big, hairy kind.” F’n smart-ass. I think he’s on to me. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/76 "2005-12-09T18:51:08Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I’m an idiot. Look down now. Next Question but vaguely related: Do you suppose Cousin It would have fit in to an IT department? Jim [sub]wow even if only briefly I am finally the source of a Sig[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/77 "2005-12-09T20:31:28Z")
What’s a blutterfairlie? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/78 "2005-12-09T20:49:49Z")
When is remote access for SAN gonna be deployed? Do you know how many people are itching to get access to the Port-o-SAN? ---
**Author:** ![call911mfc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@call911mfc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/call911mfc)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/79 "2005-12-10T03:31:01Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > Yeah she is. She’s really cute, too. I don’t even think the language thing would be an issue. But she’s too young for you, so forget it. Umm…she isn’t 16, is she? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678/80 "2005-12-12T20:09:53Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > This has been nagging at me, since I was not entirely satisfied with the lunch lady’s answer. So I asked _Michael_, the guy who’s office is on the other side of the guy next to me. I’m not sure what he does around here, but he claims to know C++. His response can be described as _annoyed befuddlement_. He indicated it sounds like a b.s. question. Was I set up, here? Sorry, it’s a reference to [this problem](http://perplexus.info/show.php?pid=3893) my friend posed on a message board for math geeks. The question was, how many consecutive integers can you express using only up to five fives and mathematical notation? For a few weeks, every time I saw my friend, I’d ask him how many numbers he could get from five. The math geeks on the board got up to 777 before they hit a brick wall. My friend is a C++ programmer, but he does math problems “for fun” in his downtime. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-winstons-co-workers/334678.md?page=3)