# Ask..... Your MOM!!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 30, 2003, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522 "2003-10-30T21:30:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/41 "2003-10-31T21:15:58Z")
MOOOOOOOOOOOM!! **swampy** ’s doing that thing to the dog again!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/42 "2003-10-31T21:16:35Z")
Mommy, where do babies come from?? You’re much prettier than my friends mommies!! I’m the luckiest boy on earth!! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/43 "2003-10-31T21:28:16Z")
What the hell did I bump into coming out that gave me this birthmark? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/44 "2003-10-31T23:10:15Z")
Mommy, what’s this hair growing here for? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/45 "2003-11-01T00:13:44Z")
Mum, how come I’ve got seven ‘uncles’ when you only had three brothers? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/46 "2003-11-03T13:39:50Z")
**Swampbear!** I said not a PEEP! Now, I want you to stay still and think about what you’ve done. And why don’t you read Mommy’s copy of _Flowers in the Attic._ You might learn something about what happens to little boys when they’re bad. And leave the dog alone! **Cervaise,** God doesn’t hate you for touching yourself. Your classmates do. You need to do that kind of thing in the bathroom, not in the lunchroom. **Marine,** babies come from a beautiful place called the Automat. When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they go down to the Automat and pick out a baby to bring home. That way, every time that baby acts up and makes their lives a LIVING HELL, they can remember that at least they have each other. But not you, **Marine.** You’re such a GOOD boy. Now bring these powdered cookies up to **Swampbear.** **lieu,** that’s not a birthmark. Perhaps you want to take a bath. **Smeghead,** that’s not hair. That’s MOLD. The minute **lieu** gets out of the tub, you get in there. **kambuckta,** you will have as many uncles as Mommy needs to pay the bills. Now put your sad face on. Mommy’s twenty bucks short on the grocery money. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/47 "2003-11-03T14:14:35Z")
Mommy, can I have a pony? Pleeeeeeeaaaaassssssse can I have a pony? I WANT A PONY!!! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/48 "2003-11-03T14:45:20Z")
Muuuum! If **EddyTeddyFreddy** gets a pony, I want a cat. Please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasse? Mom, why is everyone else picking on me? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/49 "2003-11-03T14:51:23Z")
When will I learn what my special porpoise is for? ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/50 "2003-11-03T14:53:04Z")
Mommy, teacher says I can’t wear my leather chaps and harness to school anymore. Can you take me to buy some clothes? And it was **FairyChatMom** that dyed the dog green this time and not me. Can I have some more of those powdered cookies? They make me feel reeeeeeeeeeeal good. See how good I behaved after I ate em? Can I have some more? Huh?Huh?Huh?CanI?CanI?CanI/ ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/51 "2003-11-03T15:23:10Z")
> [@](#): > > How come Heather has two mommies? Does that mean she can post to this thread twice? You are my new hero. Er, I mean _contemporary idol_. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/52 "2003-11-03T16:28:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ilsa\_Lund \* > \*\*You are my new hero. Er, I mean _contemporary idol_. \*\* Does that mean I have to sing on a game show? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/53 "2003-11-03T16:41:11Z")
Muuuuuuuuum!!! How come **Angua** gets a cat and I can’t have a pony? Huh??? HUH??? You know the last cat you gave her, she ATE IT!!! It’s not fair!! **I. WANT. A. PONY. [SIZE=8]_NOW!!!_** ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/54 "2003-11-03T16:43:11Z")
And I want my mean old computer to do what I _want_, not just what I tell it. It’s not fair! ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/55 "2003-11-03T17:16:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Scrappy Hero Pup \* > **swampbear:** :: exasperated sigh :: Just take them ALL. With this whiskey. And if you don’t calm down and finish your homework, your little friend **Homebrew** will be using his proctology skills to remove my FOOT from your ASS. :eek: **Swampy** , I _told_ you that was our _secret_ game! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/56 "2003-11-03T17:17:54Z")
I didn’t eat it. It ran away! Mum!!! **EddyTeddyFreddy’s** telling lies!!! MUUUUUM!!! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/57 "2003-11-03T19:54:15Z")
Am not!!! **Angua’s** the one who’s telling fibs! And the cat ran away coz **Angua** _tried_ to eat it! So there!!! Muuuuuuuummmmm!!! **Angua’s** biting me! OW!!! Make her stop!!! WAAAAAAAA!!! ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/58 "2003-11-04T08:37:12Z")
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmm!!! I’m not biting **EddyTeddyFreddy**!!! She’s scratching me!!! **EddyTeddyFreddy** chased the cat away because it ate her homework!!! Muuuuuum!!! **Eddy’s** being mean!!! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/59 "2003-11-04T13:16:43Z")
AM NOT!!! ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522/60 "2003-11-04T14:17:43Z")
You guys are in trouble when Mom gets back! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/210522.md?page=4)