# Ask Your Mom **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 5, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737 "2015-11-05T17:50:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/21 "2015-11-05T22:13:41Z")
Now I’m laughing. Thanks Mom! ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/22 "2015-11-05T23:32:14Z")
So, since you’ve been gone I’ve spent some time trying to understand you better. It seemed to me that you worked so hard for most of your life and that you were never really happy. Dad expected so much of you and never expressed appreciation for what you did (at least not in front of us). I mean, you held down a full-time outside job, then came home, cooked dinner (at least we kids did clean up after dinner when we got old enough), did laundry and ironing (at least we kids did learn to do our own ironing when we got old enough), and kept the house spotless (my sister was supposed to help with the housework but she sucked at it). All of this while living with type I diabetes, diagnosed when you were around 30. When I think of you I get an image of anxiety and trepidation. Your favorite thing seemed to be reading, but you got precious little time to do it. Sorry I didn’t spend more time thinking about this when you were still alive. Can you tell me any more about yourself now than you did before? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2015, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/23 "2015-11-05T23:36:09Z")
Mom, why don’t girls think farts are funny? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/epjrWjo9ZMY/hqdefault.jpg "Blind date fart in the car (HQ) the original!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epjrWjo9ZMY) ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/24 "2015-11-06T00:26:19Z")
Hey Mom! Why do I look like the mailman? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/25 "2015-11-06T00:32:52Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > So, since you’ve been gone I’ve spent some time trying to understand you better. It seemed to me that you worked so hard for most of your life and that you were never really happy. Dad expected so much of you and never expressed appreciation for what you did (at least not in front of us). I mean, you held down a full-time outside job, then came home, cooked dinner (at least we kids did clean up after dinner when we got old enough), did laundry and ironing (at least we kids did learn to do our own ironing when we got old enough), and kept the house spotless (my sister was supposed to help with the housework but she sucked at it). All of this while living with type I diabetes, diagnosed when you were around 30. When I think of you I get an image of anxiety and trepidation. Your favorite thing seemed to be reading, but you got precious little time to do it. > > Sorry I didn’t spend more time thinking about this when you were still alive. Can you tell me any more about yourself now than you did before? Back then there wasn’t all this focus on being “happy”, like there is today. Searching for happiness was for hippies. My job as a woman was to keep a home, make my husband’s life easier, and to raise good children. I did my job and then some. That was good enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/26 "2015-11-06T00:36:34Z")
Sup mother…I’d like to ask you why you won’t just sell that stupid house that’s been vacant for the past 5 years and stop being all greedy rage bitch about wanting to fix up something you’ll never fix because you are too lazy all because you want every single little penny it’s worth from it? Just sell it!! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/27 "2015-11-06T00:36:43Z")
[quote=“Morgenstern, post:23, topic:736737”] Mom, why don’t girls think farts are funny? [/QUOTE] Oh, Morgenstern. Is this how you spend your time on the internet? You could be using this wonderful resource to connect with long-lost relatives, or learning a second language, but no. You watch fart videos. I thought I raised you better than that. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/28 "2015-11-06T00:41:00Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Hey Mom! Why do I look like the mailman? I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate, son, but just wait until your father gets home! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/29 "2015-11-06T00:43:30Z")
> [@HeXen](#): > > Sup mother…I’d like to ask you why you won’t just sell that stupid house that’s been vacant for the past 5 years and stop being all greedy rage bitch about wanting to fix up something you’ll never fix because you are too lazy all because you want every single little penny it’s worth from it? Just sell it!! It’s not that I’m too lazy, it’s that nobody ever helps me!! You could come over after work or on the weekends but you don’t care about me! After all I’ve done for you! ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/30 "2015-11-06T02:23:22Z")
My uncle told me that my father didn’t die from a heart-attack, but he died from a broken heart, because you were having an affair with the man whom you married after my father died. Oh, and why are the neighbor wives “jealous” of you? ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/31 "2015-11-06T02:35:55Z")
Mom, did you really take Rex to that farm in the country when I was small? And do you really wear combat boots? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/32 "2015-11-06T03:24:05Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > My uncle told me that my father didn’t die from a heart-attack, but he died from a broken heart, because you were having an affair with the man whom you married after my father died. Oh, and why are the neighbor wives “jealous” of you? Mistakes were made. Let’s not live in the past. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/33 "2015-11-06T03:27:31Z")
> [@Marine\_One](#): > > Mom, did you really take Rex to that farm in the country when I was small? > > And do you really wear combat boots? Of course I took Rex to that farm! I just got a call from the farmer the other day, in fact. Rex is still there and happy as can be. I have a wide variety of footwear. The combat boots are really roomy and comfortable on my corns. ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/34 "2015-11-06T06:05:42Z")
So, Mom, that story about getting drunk off wine so badly that you never drank wine again, the story about you and your many, many siblings (mostly male) pooping off the barn rafters into a can (like a bullseye but harder) … how close was that to the birth of my oldest sibling’s conception date? The one with the father that isn’t talked about and who was born 4 months after you turned 16. Back in the 50’s. _Little pitchers have big ears._ ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/35 "2015-11-06T16:15:56Z")
Mom, I have a serious question that needs to be answered to quell my torment. If I don’t keep my cat’s bowl full of kibble will she attack me while I am asleep? I need to run to the grocery store soon. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/36 "2015-11-06T16:33:51Z")
Mom, listen, I really need to know. How the heck did you manage to feed 4 kids lunch with 1 can of Campbell’s condensed soup and fill all our bowls?? Is that why I hate tomato soup so much? But you did it with chicken noodle too!! And how did you make 1 small can of tuna stretch to make 4 tuna sandwiches, or 5 if Dad wanted one? And why was there always 1 big bite out of every sandwich you ever served? And was Kool-Aid really too expensive for us and we should drink water? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/37 "2015-11-06T16:38:27Z")
Thanks, Mother (that’s what I call you), for all you did to care for me, and feed me, and clean up after me, and help me with homework, and intercede with Father when you had to, and send me out into the world knowing that I was loved. We don’t always agree on everything, and sometimes I’m frustrated by… well, never mind. You’re still the _best_. XOXOX ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/38 "2015-11-06T16:42:07Z")
Mom, would you be upset if I told you I had dated your sister? More than once? ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/39 "2015-11-06T16:51:28Z")
HOw many times did us kids walk in on you and Dad doing the wild thing when we were little? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2015, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737/40 "2015-11-06T16:51:30Z")
> [@mistymage](#): > > So, Mom, that story about getting drunk off wine so badly that you never drank wine again, the story about you and your many, many siblings (mostly male) pooping off the barn rafters into a can (like a bullseye but harder) … how close was that to the birth of my oldest sibling’s conception date? The one with the father that isn’t talked about and who was born 4 months after you turned 16. Back in the 50’s. > > _Little pitchers have big ears._ How about you worry about **Mistymage** and I’ll worry about me? Don’t you have homework to do? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-mom/736737.md?page=3)