# Ask your too-stupid-to-be-real cooking questions here.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [January 6, 2012, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669 "2012-01-06T21:50:40Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 6
### Author:  [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/101 "2012-01-08T00:54:43Z")
Okay, I have a stupid one: How do I cook fish? Specifically salmon and other fillet or steaky-style fish?
When I say “cook” I mean literally “cook.” I don’t want a recipe. I don’t want to add other things to it to make it more flavorful or “interesting.” I just want directions, followable by a reasonably bright grade-schooler, on how to cook it so it doesn’t make me sick.
Yeah, I’m really that abysmal a cook. I’m scared of cooking. 😃 And I like really basic food without embellishments.
---
### Author:  [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/102 "2012-01-08T01:14:59Z")
> [@Infovore](#):
>
> Okay, I have a stupid one: How do I cook fish? Specifically salmon and other fillet or steaky-style fish?
>
> When I say “cook” I mean literally “cook.” I don’t want a recipe. I don’t want to add other things to it to make it more flavorful or “interesting.” I just want directions, followable by a reasonably bright grade-schooler, on how to cook it so it doesn’t make me sick.
>
> Yeah, I’m really that abysmal a cook. I’m scared of cooking. 😃 And I like really basic food without embellishments.
There are several way, but the easiest is probably to bake it. My trick with salmon is to mix mayonnaise, a little lemon, a little Dijon mustard, some shallots, and herbs (I like tarragon). Spread on salmon and bake til the middle is no longer raw. About 15 minutes at 375. You can also broil fillets, but that means you need to watch it closely
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### Author:  [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/103 "2012-01-08T01:35:22Z")
> [@sh1bu1](#):
>
> There are several way, but the easiest is probably to bake it. My trick with salmon is to mix mayonnaise, a little lemon, a little Dijon mustard, some shallots, and herbs (I like tarragon). Spread on salmon and bake til the middle is no longer raw. About 15 minutes at 375. You can also broil fillets, but that means you need to watch it closely
Hmm. See, there’s that mixing thing again. Is it not possible to take a piece of fish, wrap it in foil, maybe with a bit of lemon or whatever to help keep it moist, cook it at X degrees for X minutes, and have it work? I know I’m weird, but I just want my fish to taste like the fish, not mustard or mayo or whatever. And I wouldn’t know a shallot (or how to prepare one) if one came up and punched me in the nose! 🙂
I appreciate the suggestion and it sounds like baking is the way to go, but I really _am_ that boring. I just want the minimum amount of extra items involved with my food to make it moist. That’s it. Maybe once I learn to do that I can branch out into trying some things to enhance the flavor, but for now I really just want to know how to cook the darn thing. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/104 "2012-01-08T01:54:24Z")
Just pan fry it. All you need is a little salt and pepper on the fish
and butter and/or olive oil in the pan. For a one-inch salmon steak, cook over medium high heat for about three minutes a side. I like my salmon quite raw, so I do very high heat and about 1.5 minutes a side or so. Three minutes a side will get you mediumish, but if you like it more done, you might push it an extra minute or two total.
That’s how I cook my fish. For white fillets like cod, I’ll fry them until just before it gets flaky on the center (the carryover heat will finish cooking it.) The length of time varies depending on the thickness, but I just use the guidelines above.
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### Author:  [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/105 "2012-01-08T01:56:02Z")
> [@Infovore](#):
>
> Hmm. See, there’s that mixing thing again. Is it not possible to take a piece of fish, wrap it in foil, maybe with a bit of lemon or whatever to help keep it moist, cook it at X degrees for X minutes, and have it work? I know I’m weird, but I just want my fish to taste like the fish, not mustard or mayo or whatever. And I wouldn’t know a shallot (or how to prepare one) if one came up and punched me in the nose! 🙂
>
> I appreciate the suggestion and it sounds like baking is the way to go, but I really _am_ that boring. I just want the minimum amount of extra items involved with my food to make it moist. That’s it. Maybe once I learn to do that I can branch out into trying some things to enhance the flavor, but for now I really just want to know how to cook the darn thing. 🙂
I should have made them separate paragraphs.
1. Just bake it.
2. Make it taste good.
Yes you can bake fish wrapped in foil. It kinda steams it. But it’s tough to say how long to bake because it varies according to how thick it is, what kind of fish, did you pre-heat the oven, blah blah. But really, it’s not rocket science. Pop it in the oven and keep checking it until it’s done the way you want.
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### Author:  [@Clothilde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothilde)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/106 "2012-01-08T03:26:01Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> I personally hate recipes that assume you’re only going to be using canned or only fresh items.
>
> Like what the hell is a “medium”-sized fresh tomato’s worth of canned tomatoes, when I’m throwing it in a long-cooking stew anyway and don’t need the fresh flavor to be up front? I had to kind of eyeball it.
>
> Or when you mostly cook from dried beans, and you have some chickpeas you cooked and the recipe calls for a 14-oz can of chickpeas… There I sit, trying to think about whether the can means by volume or by weight, and if the latter, do they mean the “dry” weight or the weight with the canning liquid? I’m pretty sure that it means the dry weight, so I’ve been going with that and it seems to work so far.
>
> Also: hate it when recipes mention herbs but don’t specify dried or fresh. I expect dried in everyday-style cookbooks, in most cases, but in magazines like Gourmet/Bon Appetit/Saveur, what are they using? Since they’re more “fancy” do they expect you’ll go with fresh preferentially? Sometimes you can guess by context or amount used. I wish they’d have a disclaimer printed somewhere in their “glossary”-type section, like “If we do not specify otherwise, assume that herbs are dried” or something similar.
A serving size of cooked beans is usually 1/2 cup. So you can adjust the amount of cooked-from-fresh beans you’re using based on the total number of servings in your recipe (in other words, for a recipe that makes 4 servings, use 2 cups of cooked chickpeas.)
Other than that, the can size you’re referring to usually contains about 3 1/2 servings. So I would use about 1 3/4 cups of cooked to substitute for the amount in the can if duplicating the amount contained in a can is important for your recipe.
So here’s my stupid cooking question. Why do these companies put 3 1/2 servings in a can? This is stupid beyond words. For a family of four, one can means somebody gets cheated out of 1/2 a serving. Or you’re forced to use 2 cans, which means you end up with 3 servings of leftovers. So then you have to store the leftovers in the fridge, but it’s only 3 servings, so you have to add ANOTHER can the next time you have them, making 6 1/2 servings, which leaves 2 1/2 servings of leftovers, etc, etc, etc. This happened to my family with canned green beans when I was growing up. It eventually became the “everlasting leftover green beans.” We were all on a diet during my teenage years so we were watching everything we ate. And we had this very problem with canned green beans. There were four of us, but only those stupid 3 1/2 servings in a can of green beans. So we had the leftovers, add more next time, leftovers, add more next time. It became a joke. And sometimes you’d run across one green bean that was clearly from several cans ago because it was a different color than the other green beans. I put my foot down and refused to eat those old ones. Frankly, Ferret Herder, I think you have the right idea to cook from fresh because you can make only what you need at the time and don’t have to deal with the “leftovers shuffle.”
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### Author:  [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/107 "2012-01-08T03:49:42Z")
There are no Green Bean Police to arrest you if you give everyone a third of a cup of green beans instead of a half, you know.
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### Author:  [@tadtooornamental](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tadtooornamental)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/108 "2012-01-08T04:13:43Z")
[quote=“Infovore, post:101, topic:608669”]
Okay, I have a stupid one: How do I cook fish? Specifically salmon and other fillet or steaky-style fish?
I’m going off your basic salmon, bought frozen from a generic grocery store.
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Pull off foil piece about 2x the size of one piece of fish.
3. Put fish on foil.
4. Top with a “glob” of butter and a “squeeze” of lemon juice. I apologize for the highly technical terms.
5. Fold ends of foil over top of fish to completely seal.
6. Place on baking sheet, pizza pan, or whatever will make it easier for you to take out of the oven.
7. Place sheet/pan/whathaveyou in oven and leave for 20ish minutes.
8. Remove and consume delicious fish.
Works for me every time. If you feel like experimenting, add whichever spices you fancy.
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### Author:  [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/109 "2012-01-08T08:19:38Z")
> [@tadtooornamental](#):
>
> I’m going off your basic salmon, bought frozen from a generic grocery store.
>
> 1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
> 2. Pull off foil piece about 2x the size of one piece of fish.
> 3. Put fish on foil.
> 4. Top with a “glob” of butter and a “squeeze” of lemon juice. I apologize for the highly technical terms.
> 5. Fold ends of foil over top of fish to completely seal.
> 6. Place on baking sheet, pizza pan, or whatever will make it easier for you to take out of the oven.
> 7. Place sheet/pan/whathaveyou in oven and leave for 20ish minutes.
> 8. Remove and consume delicious fish.
>
> Works for me every time. If you feel like experimenting, add whichever spices you fancy.
Ooh, perfect! Now these are the kind of “understandable by a fifth grader” directions sad little inept cook me needs. I’m going to try that! Will it work with other kinds of fish too?
Thanks also to \*\*sh1bu1 \*\*and **pulykamell**! I will probably have more stupid questions to add later. 🙂
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### Author:  [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/110 "2012-01-08T13:52:19Z")
> [@Antigen](#):
>
> Someone notify the Nobel prize committee - I think we have one of this year’s winners.
>
> Why have I never thought of this? How many cans of tomato paste have I guiltily thrown out, half-empty, because my recipe only needed a little?
>
> You have changed my life. 😃
Seconded.
And **Infovore** , you can [cook fish in the dishwasher](http://www.winexmagazine.com/index.php/wine/vieweat/dishwasher-salmon/) if you like.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/111 "2012-01-08T13:53:44Z")
Extra bonus instruction to the above: if there is skin on one side of the filet, put it skin side down on the foil. If you’re lucky, the skin will easily peel right off the fish after cooking when you try to remove it from the foil.
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### Author:  [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/112 "2012-01-08T14:19:37Z")
**Infovore** , if you are not a confident cook, see if you can get hold of some see-through baking bags like [this](http://www.glad.com.au/glad-products/food-management/glad-oven-bags/).
Do exactly what you would have done with the fish and the tinfoil BUT now you can check if it is cooked without opening the parcel, so you know it isn’t raw or burnt. I always manage to burn myself on the hot foil, scald myself with steam or rip the foil and lose the cooking juices if I make a foil parcel.
My local fishmonger sells fresh fish which they will seal in a vacuum pack with some seasoned butter (your choice of chilli, garlic, dill or plain salt, lemon and pepper) and you can put the whole in the oven, microwave or a pot of hot water- actually very good results, and no lingering fish cooking odour. If that is available in your area, try it out.
I tend to grill (broil) salmon steaks with a teriyaki or sweet chilli glaze, and serve with steamed greens and coconut rice.
BTW I use 1 cup Basmati rice:2 cups water, cover in a thick bottomed pot, bring to boil, put on lowest heat for 20 minutes, turn off. Rest for 5-10mins. Fluff and serve. It works very well. The trick, for me, was actually finding the right sized cup, which held the correct amount to serve my family, and the right sized pot to boil it in. So, you may want to try a bigger or smaller pot, or a bigger or smaller cup if you can’t get this method to work for you.
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### Author:  [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/113 "2012-01-08T15:03:57Z")
> [@Antigen](#):
>
> Someone notify the Nobel prize committee - I think we have one of this year’s winners.
>
> Why have I never thought of this? How many cans of tomato paste have I guiltily thrown out, half-empty, because my recipe only needed a little?
>
> You have changed my life. 😃
You guys are an easy crowd. Wait until I tell you how I store leftover chicken stock. Hint: it also involves the freezer.
---
### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/114 "2012-01-08T16:57:03Z")
> [@Athena](#):
>
> You guys are an easy crowd. Wait until I tell you how I store leftover chicken stock. Hint: it also involves the freezer.
And another tip to piggyback on that one: if you’re running out of freezer space or want a super concentrated broth called a _glace de viande_ (always good to have around), you could cook down your stock down to about 10% or so of its original volume. (So, five quarts of stock reduced to about two cups.) Just keep cooking until it becomes thick and syrupy, able to coat the back of a spoon. Then pour into an ice cube tray, freeze, and put in a zip lock bag. You can then reconstitute as you wish, or use the super-concentrated stock cubes to make sauces or perk up dishes. Basically, homemade bouillon!
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### Author:  [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/115 "2012-01-08T17:42:27Z")
I’ve always wondered about the water used for making pasta. Does it matter if its drinking water or just water out of the faucet?
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### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/116 "2012-01-08T17:44:18Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#):
>
> I’ve always wondered about the water used for making pasta. Does it matter if its drinking water or just water out of the faucet?
I personally never noticed much of a difference, unless the water out of your faucet is particular sulfurous or off-tasting. Hell, I’ve used boiled river water to cook pasta when camping.
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/117 "2012-01-08T17:45:19Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#):
>
> I’ve always wondered about the water used for making pasta. Does it matter if its drinking water or just water out of the faucet?
Assuming the water from the faucet is drinkable tap water is fine.
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/118 "2012-01-08T18:40:54Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#):
>
> I’ve always wondered about the water used for making pasta. Does it matter if its drinking water or just water out of the faucet?
Any water is fine unless your local water is gross in some way.
A related tip: Whan you drain the pasta, you should always catch some of the hot, starchy pasta water in a bowl. This is handy to adjust the consistency of the sauce if you need to, because it’s already hot and the starch in the water has slight thickening properties.
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### Author:  [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/119 "2012-01-08T22:39:41Z")
I’m looking for a substitue for milk to be used in potato soup. I looked up rice milk and it’s way out of our price range. Are there other things available?
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### Author:  [@Mr\_Downtown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Downtown)
#### Post date: [January 8, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ask-your-too-stupid-to-be-real-cooking-questions-here/608669/120 "2012-01-08T22:57:42Z")
> [@Infovore](#):
>
> Okay, I have a stupid one: How do I cook . . salmon
Sprinkle liberally with lemon pepper and broil for four minutes. Turn the filet over and broil another three minutes. It should be pink and flaky in the middle. Put a dollop of bearnaise or mustard on the side if you like.
As for “precise” measurements, I have a recipe from a favorite aunt that specifies _one 39-cent tub of Cool Whip._ So I have to consult the Consumer Price Index as well as a measuring cup.
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