# Asking an African-American woman to give up a bus seat in the handicapped section makes me racist? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137 "2013-11-17T19:02:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/21 "2013-11-18T00:15:58Z")
What, you’re saying that if you were sitting in seats for the disabled, you would harass disabled person who asked for the seat, **planetcory**? ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/22 "2013-11-18T00:55:25Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I simply suggested that the OP might be better served by making a more general request for a seat, rather than singling out the youngest people sitting In my experience (when on very visible crutches after knee surgery), a general request for a seat would result in everyone in the handicapped area looking vaguely guilty and refusing to meet my eye, but no one moved. If I asked someone specific, I almost always got a “oh, sure, take my seat!”. ---
**Author:** ![Palooka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/palooka/32/2902_2.png) [@Palooka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palooka)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/23 "2013-11-18T02:05:09Z")
Not that it has anything to do with what they said, but it seems pretty dumb to expect two people to move for one person to sit down. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/24 "2013-11-18T02:23:53Z")
> [@Palooka](#): > > Not that it has anything to do with what they said, but it seems pretty dumb to expect two people to move for one person to sit down. If they want to continue to sit together, it’s not. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/25 "2013-11-18T02:37:03Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I would have said, “Well. I see neither Rosa Parks nor Dr. King - if you should happen to know who they are - taught you nothing about respect.” Well, no. That was Aretha. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/26 "2013-11-18T03:13:39Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > Sadly, I would have said, “Be sure to tell your parents all about this if you ever meet them.” What the fuck? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/27 "2013-11-18T03:34:38Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Along with my above suggestion, I would have told the girls, “Be sure to tell your parents all about this when you get home.” Oh to be a fly on the wall at their home if they did… ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/28 "2013-11-18T03:45:16Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > In my experience (when on very visible crutches after knee surgery), a general request for a seat would result in everyone in the handicapped area looking vaguely guilty and refusing to meet my eye, but no one moved. If I asked someone specific, I almost always got a “oh, sure, take my seat!”. I’ve had the same experience. And IME it’s almost always the middle-aged women (of whatever race) who are the first to offer a seat without being asked. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/29 "2013-11-18T03:58:57Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > In my experience (when on very visible crutches after knee surgery), a general request for a seat would result in everyone in the handicapped area looking vaguely guilty and refusing to meet my eye, but no one moved. If I asked someone specific, I almost always got a “oh, sure, take my seat!”. Sometimes it’s all in the asking. I was recently standing in a crowded subway car, when a man came in, having some difficulty leading another man who looked to be developmentally delayed. No one was budging, so when he happened to catch my eye, I put on my best drill-sergeant voice and barked, “WOULD YOU LIKE A SEAT, SIR?” Two people popped right up. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/30 "2013-11-18T04:19:20Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > a younger person can be just as tired as an adult. Being tired isn’t a disability. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/31 "2013-11-18T05:05:42Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I’d have asked them if they would have given up their seats to a handicapped black person. > > If they said yes, I’d tell them they were the racists. Nice! ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/32 "2013-11-18T05:08:39Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > Sadly, I would have said, “Be sure to tell your parents all about this if you ever meet them.” “I know you ditint.” ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/33 "2013-11-18T05:10:41Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Being tired isn’t a disability. [Chronic fatigue syndrome](http://www.co-cure.org/schopflocher/AISH2B.htm)😃 ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/34 "2013-11-18T05:11:12Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Being tired isn’t a disability. Read the post a little more closely, and you’ll see that she never suggested it was. The point was merely that, if there are a bunch of people sitting in the reserved seats when a disabled person comes on board, and some are younger than others, it shouldn’t automatically be assumed that the youngest person must be the one who least needs the seat. I’m 44, so hardly young anymore, and there are times when i’m tired enough that i would really like a seat on the bus or the train, and times when i’m quite happy to stand. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/35 "2013-11-18T06:56:22Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > As I sat down, I said “Maybe they’re pregnant.” I was on your side until I heard this. So you are a racist. Thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/36 "2013-11-18T08:18:47Z")
I’m going to try and see things from the kids’ point of view. First of all, the OP had a wrist disability - which means that she wasn’t \*visibly \*disabled, at least to the casual viewer (and I’m not saying this to belittle her handicap; it’s obviously a real thing, just not an obvious thing). Second of all - I don’t know how old the OP is, but I know that personally, as a white guy, I sometimes have a hard time estimating the ages of non-white people. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same thing with black people assessing the ages of white people. My point is, the kids may not have seen the OP as “elderly” - especially in this day and age, when Boomers in their 60’s still insist on thinking of themselves as middle aged at best. So what they may have seen was a healthy, middle-aged woman singling out the only black people in the front of the bus, spouting some BS about a “disability”, and demanding they move to the back. If that’s the case, I can sort of see where they’re coming from. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/37 "2013-11-18T10:43:38Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I was on your side until I heard this. So you are a racist. Thanks for sharing. Not necessarily, she could just be an ageist. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/38 "2013-11-18T11:12:00Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > What the fuck? They sure seemed to have been raised poorly. It’s just a guess, but lack of parental involvement can impede socialization. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/39 "2013-11-18T11:17:50Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Because I am elderly and handicapped. Walking on a moving bus is very hard for me, cause of a wrist injury which makes it very hard to hold the bars and keep my balance. I am terrified of falling. > > Sue me. What is wrong with your _other_ wrist? ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2013, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137/40 "2013-11-18T11:19:49Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I’m going to try and see things from the kids’ point of view. > > First of all, the OP had a wrist disability I missed this until you pointed it out. A wrist injury? Thats a ridiculous reason to demand someone else get up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-an-african-american-woman-to-give-up-a-bus-seat-in-the-handicapped-section-makes-me-racist/674137.md?page=3)