# Asking questions of our pets **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 4, 2008, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975 "2008-04-04T19:47:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/41 "2008-04-06T16:13:01Z")
[QUOTE=elfkin477] I do because one’s a Maine Coon and he asks **me** questions. If anyone else has one, you know what I mean. [/QUOTE] My kitty is part Maine Coon. She’s quite the chatty one. She doesn’t so much meow as chirp and trill, like some weird bird. ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/42 "2008-04-06T16:23:41Z")
“Seriously, Tulip, WTF?” ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/43 "2008-04-06T19:03:03Z")
Puckers, do you: …wanna go outside? \ …wanna cookie? \ …want some Beneful? \ …wanna go to bed? \ Puckers, are you mama’s boy? \ Can I have a kiss? \ Can you dance for mama? \ The keywords for all these phrases are obviously: outside, kisses, cookie, bed, Beneful, dance, mama. He also knows daddy, sit, stay, crate, hungry, thirsty, leave it, get it, and drop it. I think he knows “bad” as well, but it may be tone he responds to. So why wouldn’t I ask him questions? He’s not a moron. It’s not like I’m asking him to explain the Pythagorean theorem to me. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/44 "2008-04-06T19:29:04Z")
[QUOTE=Sigmagirl] Actually, when we adopted our first dog, he had been a stray for a while; we took him to an animal behaviorist and she estimated that he had been on his own for several years at least. When we took him to obedience school, the instructor said that people shouldn’t talk to their dogs except for giving commands. She said that speaking to the dog should be reserved for when you need the dog’s full attention, or the dog will come to disregard you when you are giving a command. So all the above posts “Who’s a good dog?” or “Where did I put my keys” or “Now we’re going to talk to Grandma on the phone” is counterproductive, according to the trainer. [/QUOTE] Is this a trainer for _working_ dogs or _pet_ dogs? Seriously, you can buy robots these days, you don’t have to breed them, and the robots don’t have poop accidents in the house. I have pets for the companionship and because I like 'em to be what they are: dogs being dogs, cats being cats, birds being birds… I’m not buying houseslaves! Besides, I’ve yet to have an animal that couldn’t distinguish the TONE that differentiates chatter from command. And, like **Brown Eyed Girl** said, my pets aren’t morons. They do understand much of what I say. Why shouldn’t I talk to them? After all, they make noises at me when they want something. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/45 "2008-04-06T20:11:52Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Why The @#$%& Are You Eating That??? [/QUOTE] Especially since you’re just going to throw it right back up. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/46 "2008-04-06T21:03:15Z")
[QUOTE=MacTech] occasionally, I get them to chase the beam from my laser pointer [/QUOTE] I discovered by accident that my goldfish can’t see the laser pointer I have for the cats. It scares the hell out of him and makes him swim into the tank walls. I don’t use it near the tank any more. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/47 "2008-04-06T22:53:00Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Especially since you’re just going to throw it right back up. [/QUOTE] Heh, so they throw it up. The next cat that comes by will just eat it. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/48 "2008-04-06T23:38:38Z")
[QUOTE=Mr Bus Guy] Heh, so they throw it up. The next cat that comes by will just eat it. [/QUOTE] EWWWWWW! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/49 "2008-04-07T00:41:20Z")
“Chloe, you are in the same spot and position on the bed as when I left 10 hours ago…could you please explain why?” “If you must sleep in the laundry baskets, Angel, why can’t you sleep on the dirty clothes instead of the clean?” “Izzums Tweak the world’s cutest kitty today? Did you make all the other kitties behave?” “Why do you have to sit on my chest? Why can’t you just lay next to me?” ---
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/50 "2008-04-07T01:14:03Z")
[QUOTE=Brown Eyed Girl] So why wouldn’t I ask him questions? He’s not a moron. It’s not like I’m asking him to explain the Pythagorean theorem to me. [/QUOTE] Today, while we were playing golf, a shepherd was in her back yard having a hissy fit about people being too close to her turf. On the one hand, I felt sorry for a territorial dog having to live that close to a tee box on a busy course. On the other, she fucked up 3 drives with her erratically hysterical barking. So, being the evil person I am, and having heard her person yell her name, when it was my turn to tee off, I hollered, in a happy tone, “Shasta! Do you want a bath?” Shasta promptly hid. Quietly. _She’s a smart girl, oh yes she is!_ ---
**Author:** ![Maui\_Lion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@Maui\_Lion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maui_Lion)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/51 "2008-04-07T01:18:26Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] What are you doing, ferrets? Where are my keys, ferrets? Where is the remote, ferrets? Where are my keys, ferrets? Where is my shoe, ferrets? Where are the KEYS, ferrets? Where did my eraser go, ferrets? Where’s the OTHER SHOE, ferrets? Where did you hide the TOILET PAPER?! KEYS! WHERE ARE THE KEYS?! FERRETS! _FERRETS!!!_ [/QUOTE] _DIES_ 😃 God I wish ferrets were allowed in Hawaii. I want one as a pet very badly. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/52 "2008-04-07T02:15:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Today, while we were playing golf, a shepherd was in her back yard having a hissy fit about people being too close to her turf. On the one hand, I felt sorry for a territorial dog having to live that close to a tee box on a busy course. On the other, she fucked up 3 drives with her erratically hysterical barking. > > So, being the evil person I am, and having heard her person yell her name, when it was my turn to tee off, I hollered, in a happy tone, “Shasta! Do you want a bath?” > > Shasta promptly hid. Quietly. She’s a smart girl, oh yes she is! Hee-hee-hee - I’ve done things like that, too! ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/53 "2008-04-07T02:40:25Z")
I ask Horatio Lord Nelson questions that I know he knows the answer to, and then get indignant when he doesn’t answer me. “Who’s my fuzzy butt? Who’s my fuzzy butt-kins? Who’s my kitty bear? Why won’t you tell me?” Picking him up, shaking him. “WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME? WHO PUT YOU UP TO THIS? TELL ME WHO MY FUZZY BUTT IS!” He doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do. The other thing I ask him a lot is, “Jesus fucking Christ, cat, what was that for?” as I lie bleeding on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/54 "2008-04-07T04:17:00Z")
[QUOTE=MadPansy64] Shasta promptly hid. Quietly. _She’s a smart girl, oh yes she is!_ [/QUOTE] Heh. Good thinking, Shasta. 😃 If I raise my voice and say my dog’s name, he will either go hide in a corner or go sit in his crate looking guilty. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/55 "2008-04-07T19:23:31Z")
Often heard in my household: the owner call-and-response song. Who’s the best doggy? (falsetto): _Sascha!_ Who’s the best girl? _Sascha is!_ Who is so smart? _My girl Sascha!_ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/56 "2008-04-07T19:50:25Z")
I _have_ to go on asking because they never answer me. [QUOTE=twickster] Where’s your brother/sister? [/QUOTE] **twickster** , that is the most frequently asked question, only I tend to phrase it, “Where’s your stupid brother?” Cats thrive on a bit of verbal abuse, I’ve found. ---
**Author:** ![MadPansy64](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@MadPansy64](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPansy64)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/57 "2008-04-08T03:02:32Z")
[QUOTE=Broomstick] Hee-hee-hee - I’ve done things like that, too! [/QUOTE] Shasta the Tee-Box Barker was inside today. 😉 Back at home, Bat-cat the Brat-cat pretended to not know who the hell horked on my freakin’ pillow, why she felt the need to attack my ankle, or the whereabouts of That Other Cat. Of course, I already know the answers, and she knows I know. (Both of us. Because it was there. Unfortunately, not on Mars.) She is a talker, but doesn’t deign to answer boring questions. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2008, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/58 "2008-04-08T03:11:11Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] Cats thrive on a bit of verbal abuse, I’ve found. [/QUOTE] Dogs OTOH are gigantic babies. They clearly thrive on baby talk and falsetto voice. “Who’s da mama’s boy?” “Is Puckers da mama’s boy?” “Of course, he is! Mama lovin’!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/59 "2008-04-09T04:48:52Z")
> [@Maui Lion](#): > > God I wish ferrets were allowed in Hawaii. I want one as a pet very badly. I’m sure there’s a ferret grey market there. I’ve met a handful of ferret owners here, where it’s also illegal. Of course, now that I think about it, it’s probably a little more difficult to get them to Hawaii from a place where they’re legal… Why are ferrets illegal in so many places anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975/60 "2008-04-09T05:54:15Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] I ask my meezer “Whose kitty are you?” and she makes a vocalization that sounds exactly like “Mama!” [/QUOTE] This [Youtube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPqkgZHH9bM) compilation of talking cats has, at 24 seconds, exactly such a “mamma” saying cat. So cute! And the last issue of National Geographic had an [article](http://dogclotheshorse.blogspot.com/2008/02/animals-are-smart.html) about a border collie dog, named Betsy. > [@](#): > > ..Betsy ..has a vocabulary of more than 300 words. > “Even our closest relatives, the great apes, can’t do what Betsy can do — hear a word only once or twice and know that the acoustic pattern stands for something,” said Juliane Kaminski, a cognitive psychologist who …is now studying Betsy. > But how similar are these skills to those of humans? For abstract thinking, we employ symbols, letting one thing stand for another. Kaminski and Tempelmann were testing whether dogs can do this too. > Betsy’s owner summoned Betsy, who obediently stretched out at Schaefer’s feet, eyes fixed on her face. Whenever Schaefer spoke, Betsy attentively cocked her head from side to side. Kaminski handed Schaefer a stack of color photographs and asked her to choose one. Each image depicted a dog’s toy against a white background—toys Betsy had never seen before. They weren’t actual toys; they were only images of toys. Could Betsy connect a two-dimensional picture to a three-dimensional object? > Schaefer held up a picture of a fuzzy, rainbow-colored Frisbee and urged Betsy to find it. Betsy studied the photograph and Schaefer’s face, then ran into the kitchen, where the Frisbee was placed among three other toys and photographs of each toy. Betsy brought either the Frisbee or the photograph of the Frisbee to Schaefer every time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asking-questions-of-our-pets/443975.md?page=4)