# Aslan v. Sauron **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 11, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129 "2004-11-11T02:24:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/21 "2004-11-11T13:14:14Z")
As mentioned, Aslan = Jesus; So Aslan would just let himself be killed. Sauron wins. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/22 "2004-11-11T13:37:04Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > Then I vote Sauron. History has shown that Jesus if in fact quite easy to kill. Yeah, but keeping him dead, that’s the trick. ---
**Author:** ![dotchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/23 "2004-11-11T14:04:26Z")
Gollum. 😉 _runs away_ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/24 "2004-11-11T14:48:22Z")
The White Witch had an army as well, and they didn’t seem to pose any threat to Aslan in **The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe**. Just because Aslan is the personification of Jesus in the books doesn’t mean he’s a pacifist pushover like many of you seem to think. And who’s to say that when push comes to shove, Jesus isn’t an ass kicker in his own right. As has been pointed out, he did tear the money collecters a new one in the temple, and for all those who’ve seen **UHF** and watched Ghandi’s tranformation, pacifists can be some mean motherfuckers. And then, there’s that whole “Being able to control the fabric of time and space thing.” If you’re God (remember, Jesus and God are the same), when faced with an opponent he couldn’t beat in his physical form, he could just snuff his opponent out of existance, like in the _Adventures of Young God_: “and then God went back in time and erased Dr. Evil’s ancestors from existance.” or some such whatnot. Plus, even guys in armor get eaten by lions (maybe not so much nowadays, but I wouldn’t be suprised to see it in the news someday soon). My money’s on Aslan. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/25 "2004-11-11T14:50:50Z")
I say Sauron. The good guys don’t always win. Evil is crafty, and cunning, and clever. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/26 "2004-11-11T15:53:42Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > OMG, JESUS = BALROG! Can’t be - Jesus doesn’t have wings d & r ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/27 "2004-11-11T16:14:20Z")
> [@Earthworm Jim](#): > > Can’t be - Jesus doesn’t have wings [Wrong!](http://lordwarmingtonstudio.com/painting%20images/big%20photos/Under_his_wings.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/28 "2004-11-11T16:16:50Z")
I guess Aslan could just poke Sauron in the eye. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/29 "2004-11-11T16:58:03Z")
Batman wins. _::d&r::_ ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/30 "2004-11-11T17:36:40Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > I guess Aslan could just poke Sauron in the eye. Upon reflection, that should read: I guess Aslan could just poke Sauron in The Eye. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/31 "2004-11-11T18:45:49Z")
> [@moriah](#): > > They both keep coming back from the dead. > > Now, we know from South Park, that Satan can take Jesus in a boxing match. So, in a Sauron-Aslan bout, we can probably see a lot of Aslan deaths with an occasional Sauron death. > > Is this being judged on points? Not in the SP _I_ watched. Yeah, Satan banged up Jesus pretty bad, but Jesus popped him a little tiny one and down the big red guy went. Sure, he took a fall to clean up on the betting money, but Satan still lost that bout. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/32 "2004-11-11T22:14:51Z")
I figure that Sauron is pretty closely equivalent to Tash, and we all saw what happened there. Aslan looks at Tash and breaths on him a little, and Tash dissipates. Or flees into the Outer Darkness, I don’t recall which, exactly. But either way, it’s a pretty decisive victory, and with hardly even any effort on Aslan’s part. I suspect that if you asked either author, they would tell you much the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/33 "2004-11-12T03:01:08Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I figure that Sauron is pretty closely equivalent to Tash, and we all saw what happened there. Aslan looks at Tash and breaths on him a little, and Tash dissipates. Or flees into the Outer Darkness, I don’t recall which, exactly. But either way, it’s a pretty decisive victory, and with hardly even any effort on Aslan’s part. Oh, come on now; they’re both in the same place, no hostilities are declared, and Aslan gets to claim a decisive victory just because Tash decides to leave? Does this seem at all reasonable? I was once in the same room with Richard “Jaws” Kiel, and he left; can I therefore claim that I defeated him in any meaningful sense? Isn’t it possible that Tash merely left because he was offended by being breathed on? If someone felt that staring and breathing right on you while you’re trying to conduct business was appropriate behavior, would you want to spend much time in their presence? By leaving, Tash was obviously trying to defuse the situation tactfully. > [@](#): > > I suspect that if you asked either author, they would tell you much the same thing. Somehow I think that the question would more likely have resulted in very strange looks from the both of them. Even more so, if you asked while staring right at them and breathing on them. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/34 "2004-11-12T08:12:45Z")
Having read the Entire Narnia Series (albeit quite some time ago) I believe the answer to this question is obvious: Sauron. Reason why in spoilers, 'cuz some of you may not be aware: Aslan GIVES UP at the end, and allows Narnia to be destroyed by evil. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/35 "2004-11-12T12:40:45Z")
> [@Phnord Prephect](#): > > Having read the Entire Narnia Series (albeit quite some time ago) I believe the answer to this question is obvious: Sauron. > > Reason why in spoilers, 'cuz some of you may not be aware: > > Aslan GIVES UP at the end, and allows Narnia to be destroyed by evil. No, you’re missing the point. _The Last Battle_ is basically a Narnia-centric apocalypse (well, it’s not too revealing, but it doesn’t take a genius to see the connections between Daniel and Revelation, especially, and _The Last Battle_.) It’s not that Aslan GIVES UP at the end, and allows Narnia to be destroyed by evil but that Aslan is God, and a defining feature of all apocalyptic literature is that God is firmly in control at all times and just waits until the time is right to punish the wicked, reward the faithful, reset the world, etc. As a result, it is not Aslan giving up and losing, but Aslan winning. It’s pretty obvious, especially since this is Lewis we’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Ankarette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@Ankarette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ankarette)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129/36 "2004-11-12T15:30:41Z")
Aslan… After all he has a knack for coming back from the dead… :wally [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aslan-v-sauron/274129.md?page=1)