# ass doctors **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 22, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601 "2003-11-22T00:17:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DuhCow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@DuhCow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DuhCow)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/1 "2003-11-22T00:17:15Z")
why do people become proctologists? ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/2 "2003-11-22T00:19:27Z")
Well, _somebody_ has to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Bromley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Bromley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bromley)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/3 "2003-11-22T01:31:04Z")
It’s a niche market. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/4 "2003-11-22T01:51:54Z")
I’m not aware of the existence of this specialty per se. There are gastroenterologists who deal with the whole digestive tract and there are colo-rectal surgeons. The joke answers may continue now. ---
**Author:** ![MarkyDeSade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@MarkyDeSade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarkyDeSade)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/5 "2003-11-22T02:16:56Z")
Assk somebody else. ---
**Author:** ![stockton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/6 "2003-11-22T02:22:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MarkyDeSade \* > \*\*Assk somebody else. \*\* …Butt don’t be surprised to get some more joke answers. Even a half-Assed one like this. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/7 "2003-11-22T02:42:32Z")
[We praise the colorectal surgeon Misunderstood and much maligned Slaving away in the heart of darkness Working where the sun don’t shine Respect the colorectal surgeon It’s a calling few would crave Lift up your hands and join us Let’s all do the finger wave]([http://www.bowserandblue.com/clips/colorectal.rm](http://www.bowserandblue.com/clips/colorectal.rm)) ---
**Author:** ![kp\_72110](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e68b1a/32.png) [@kp\_72110](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kp_72110)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/8 "2003-11-22T03:03:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MarkyDeSade \* > \*\*Assk somebody else. \*\* The question was already assed. Therefore, it must be \*\*ass-\*\*umed that there is an answer to be found. Or perhaps the OP is just being too anal. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/9 "2003-11-22T03:11:34Z")
I remember the last time someone asked another doper had a friend who had that job (IIRC) and they said one of the perks was that you almost never get called in the middle of the night about an emergency. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/10 "2003-11-22T04:44:59Z")
But when you _do_ get called in the middle of the night, it must be really, _really_ unpleasant. ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/11 "2003-11-22T05:48:34Z")
Likewise, I’m in medical school and I have never met or heard of a proctologist. I know plenty of colorectal surgeons, gastroenterologists, and urologists who spend a lot of time in that region. But they also deal with a lot of stuff elsewhere. Colorectal surgeons do a lot of relatively interesting surgeries; gastroenterologists see a wide variety of complaints, many not even involving poo. Nearly every male will one day need a urologist to deal with benign prostatic hypertrophy, prostate cancer, infertility, varicocoeles, or a number of other relatively interesting things. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/12 "2003-11-22T06:14:14Z")
They’re a perfect match. She’s a proctocologist, and he’s a pain in the ass. ---
**Author:** ![Shrinking\_Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Shrinking\_Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shrinking_Violet)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/13 "2003-11-22T12:31:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DuhCow \* > \*\*why do people become proctologists? \*\* Well someone has to be at the bottom of the pile. Julie ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/14 "2003-11-22T13:04:57Z")
_Fundament_-ally speaking, the hole thing reeks. It’s a slippery slope when you’re a proctologist, you have to keep your hand in, so to speak. Outcome does not always equal input. Astronomy aside, Uranus isn’t that wonderful. Where does it all end? ---
**Author:** ![kellner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c2a13f/32.png) [@kellner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellner)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/15 "2003-11-22T14:09:21Z")
My father (a cardio-vascular surgeon) once told me that this specialization has one rather unique advantage. You have the most thankful patients of all doctors. They suffer very hard from their illnesses and often have nobody to talk about it. Once you help them you found a new friend for lifetime. 🙂 Keep in mind that other specializations are not necessarily as nice as they look a first glance either. Btw. At least in Germany proctologist is an accepted formal specialization. ---
**Author:** ![cstamets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/958977/32.png) [@cstamets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cstamets)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/16 "2003-11-22T15:11:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by edwino \* > **Likewise, I’m in medical school and I have never met or heard of a proctologist. I know plenty of colorectal surgeons** Sounds like a re-title of the job descripton, like secretaries being renamed administrative assistants. I did a search of my insurance, looking for a proctologist. They don’t even list proctologist as a specialist. But, they also list abortion as “Voluntary Interruption of Pregnancy”. However, if I look in my local Yellow Pages, I find several doctors listed under Proctology. And I find too many references to “fecal incontinence” to continue my Google searching this early in the morning… ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/17 "2003-11-22T15:35:26Z")
In all seriousness, I would imagine that doctors who are looking for a specialty in which there is relatively little competition and do not require extraordinary skills (like, say, neurosurgeons) might look quite favorably on this. They are unlikely to have emergencies and can set their own hours. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-doctors/214601/18 "2003-11-23T14:32:12Z")
It’s steady work. In that particular specialty, there are always plenty of openings…