# Ass wiping technique **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 13, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298 "2005-07-13T04:16:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ex\_Machina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/1 "2005-07-13T04:16:02Z")
I can’t remember my toilet training but I have been cleaning myself the same way for many years. After I poop I fold the paper, hold my sack up, and reach in from the front. One day I saw (and I won’t explain the circumstances) a man reach around and go in from the rear. So I’m wondering, how do you clean yourself and why? Do you go in from the front or the rear, and do you fold or do you wad, and do ladies have their particular reasons for their techniques? ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/2 "2005-07-13T04:40:07Z")
Women generally go from front to back, as the other direction can spread feces to the urerthra and make for wicked UTIs and other infections. As for me, I’m one of those heathens that stands to wipe. Wasn’t there a thread about this some time ago – standers versus sitters? And I fold. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/3 "2005-07-13T04:41:36Z")
Pretend I spelled urethra right. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/4 "2005-07-13T05:01:17Z")
Whatever it takes. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/5 "2005-07-13T05:19:01Z")
[Standing vs sitting.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=306142&highlight=standing+wipe) As for me: Sitting, reach-around, right-handed, folded, then wadded, front to back, then back to front. Final pass with a WetWipe for that fresh as a daisy feeling! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/6 "2005-07-13T12:25:11Z")
Since this is basically a poll, I’ll move it to [**In My Humble Opinion**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/forumdisplay.php?f=12) for you. **Cajun Man** for the SDMB With apologies to **Czarcasm** and **TVeblen**. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/7 "2005-07-13T13:21:01Z")
:eek: Why do you want to know? What a strange poll! ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/8 "2005-07-13T13:44:29Z")
I just rinse off with a garden hose 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/9 "2005-07-13T15:15:45Z")
What is this “wiping” of which you speak? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/10 "2005-07-13T15:25:58Z")
Alright, let me simualte a bathroom expereince here… OK, after going through the motions, I am a wadding, sitting, left-check leaning, going in from the side, back and forther. By that, I mean I wipe back to front, then front to back a couple times. Grab a second wad of TP and repeat. If there is still…umm…significant “mess” on the TP do a third time. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/11 "2005-07-13T15:39:53Z")
Most of my life I reached around back, it never occurred to me to go in from the front. It was actually a thread here that made me think of it and now I always wipe from the front. My $14.95 at work, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/12 "2005-07-13T15:48:26Z")
You don’t know how to use the three seashells??? Lean forward, rear attack, keep it away from the guy, and confined to the target area. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/13 "2005-07-13T15:52:04Z")
D’OH! When I scanned the title just now, I thought it said 'Ass wiping _machine_. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/14 "2005-07-13T15:54:05Z")
I out-source my ass wiping to third world countries. Cheap labor, and really, try and find an American that’ll take an ass-wiping job. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/15 "2005-07-13T15:56:31Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > try and find an American that’ll take an ass-wiping job. I’ve heard that American service-sector jobs are on the upswing. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/16 "2005-07-13T16:21:06Z")
Remind me, is the upswing front-to-back, or back-to-front? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/17 "2005-07-13T16:36:00Z")
> [@mr bus guy](#): > > Remind me, is the upswing front-to-back, or back-to-front? I was hoping someone would pick up on that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/18 "2005-07-13T16:49:09Z")
I guess that would depend on if you’re standing, sitting or leaning forward at the time? Oh, no we’re not going **there** again!!! ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/19 "2005-07-13T16:50:58Z")
Being a typical male, I’m all down with coming in from behind. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298/20 "2005-07-13T17:47:05Z")
I use an angle grinder with a polishing wheel and a bar of the green buffing compound. Takes a little practice at first, but the results are worth it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ass-wiping-technique/312298.md?page=2)