# Assault With A Loaded Iguana **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2019, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709 "2019-06-18T20:50:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/1 "2019-06-18T20:50:05Z")
Lizards are weapons in Ohio. Who knew? > [@](#): > > Posted Apr 17, 2019 at 8:31 AM > > PAINESVILLE — Police say an unruly customer at a restaurant in Ohio pulled an iguana from under his shirt, swung it around and threw it at the manager. > > The reptile was reportedly tossed at a Perkins restaurant around noon Tuesday in Painesville, roughly 30 miles northeast of Cleveland. [https://www.dispatch.com/news/20190417/iguana-thrown-by-customer-at-ohio-restaurants-manager-police-say](https://www.dispatch.com/news/20190417/iguana-thrown-by-customer-at-ohio-restaurants-manager-police-say) [https://www.dispatch.com/news/20190618/ohio-man-accused-of-throwing-iguana-found-competent-for-trial](https://www.dispatch.com/news/20190618/ohio-man-accused-of-throwing-iguana-found-competent-for-trial) ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/2 "2019-06-18T20:52:44Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Lizards are weapons in Ohio. > Who knew? Who newt? ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/3 "2019-06-18T22:21:35Z")
Good thing it wasn’t a chameleon. Otherwise he’d be charged with carrying a concealed weapon. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/4 "2019-06-18T22:41:36Z")
Not sure who the real victim is in this story… ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2019, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/5 "2019-06-18T23:15:09Z")
He should have used a weasel (or marten, or mink, depending on who you believe). A man was acquitted of either throwing the animal at someone, or punching someone who asked why he was carrying the animal, again depending on who you believe. > **[Man Accused of Weasel-Related Assault is Acquitted](https://www.loweringthebar.net/2011/12/man-accused-of-weasel-assault-acquitted.html)** > > The Seattle Times, which proudly and rightfully boasts that it is the "Winner of Eight Pulitzer Prizes," will not win another one for its coverage of this story, I'm sorry to say. Bu… Meanwhile, in Mississippi, a man was fined for throwing a pig at hotel employees. It was his SECOND animal throwing offense. > **[Accused Serial Pig-Tosser Fined](https://www.loweringthebar.net/2006/12/accused_serial_.html)** > > Recently I read that the governor of Mississippi had initiated a campaign to improve the state’s image, pointing out that Mississippi actually ranks higher than people believe in areas such a… ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/6 "2019-06-19T01:02:12Z")
What. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/7 "2019-06-19T08:20:20Z")
having been to a perkins just once lets just say it was such a negative experience i can remeber it almost 35 years later i say plead him to aggravated assault … ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/8 "2019-06-19T08:45:42Z")
There’s a lot of it about, it seems – > **[Igwig the hurled iguana has his day in court](https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2002/feb/26/martinwainwright)** > > Britain's first known case of common assault by iguana-throwing went to court yesterday, with the alleged offensive weapon himself watching beadily from a tank by the dock. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/9 "2019-06-19T11:28:45Z")
Iguana? Pfft. For me it’s gila monsters or nothing when it’s go time. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/10 "2019-06-19T14:51:56Z")
A Komodo Dragon might have been more effective, but it’s difficult to conceal it under your shirt. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/11 "2019-06-19T15:12:29Z")
Heh. I’ve eaten iguana, but not at Perkins. ---
**Author:** ![zimaane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a3d4f5/32.png) [@zimaane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimaane)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/12 "2019-06-19T15:14:09Z")
That was a cold=blooded thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/13 "2019-06-19T15:24:20Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Not sure who the real victim is in this story… The iguana, of course. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/14 "2019-06-19T16:09:47Z")
If the perpetrator is found guilty, I wonder if he’ll have the option of serving time under home detention. In which case, he’ll likely have to have a monitoring lizard. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/15 "2019-06-19T16:11:19Z")
Florida Man would have used an alligator. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2019, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assault-with-a-loaded-iguana/835709/16 "2019-06-19T20:59:46Z")
How do you know the iguana was loaded? Did they do a tox screen?