# Assbag general says that Bush was "Chosen by God" to lead the fight against "Satan&qu **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 17, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054 "2003-10-17T17:26:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/1 "2003-10-17T17:26:03Z")
I’ve got a strong contender for fuckhead of the month here. i’m surprised he hasn’t been pitted already. [Telegraph](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2003/10/17/wboyk17.xml&sSheet=/news/2003/10/17/ixnewstop.html&secureRefresh=true&_requestid=15391) > [@](#): > > The general leading the hunt for Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein has publicly declared that the Christian God is “bigger” than Allah, who is a false “idol”, and believes the war on terrorism is a fight with Satan, it emerged yesterday. > > \ > > Gen Boykin has repeatedly told Christian groups and prayer meetings that President George W Bush was chosen by God to lead the global fight against Satan. > > He told one gathering: “Why is this man in the White House? The majority of Americans did not vote for him. He’s in the White House because God put him there for a time such as this.” This guy is clearly a moron but what is he doing with any authority in this conflict? He is hurting the US with his ignorant, bigoted, stupid remarks. He is is misrepresenting American policy towards the Islamic world and giving fuel to the fire for those who already suspect that this attitude is emblamatic of the US as a whole and that the “War on trerror” is really a US led attempt to eradicate Islam. More from this genius: > [@](#): > > In January, he told Baptists in Florida about a victory over a Muslim warlord in Somalia, who had boasted that Allah would protect him from American capture. “I knew my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real god and his was an idol,” Gen Boykin said. > > He also emerged from the conflict with a photograph of the Somalian capital Mogadishu bearing a strange dark mark. He has said this showed “the principalities of darkness. . . a demonic presence in that city that God revealed to me as the enemy”. We’re in Jack Chick territory with this clown but Rummy seems to be defending him. I don’t know what Shrub has to say. No doubt he secretly agrees with all of this bullshit but he doesn’t have the balls to say it publicly. It’s unconscionable that this Boykin fuckhead is allowed to have any power at all in the this conflict. It’s like sending an avowed White Supremacist to lead an intervention in Liberia. What a fucking :wally ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/2 "2003-10-17T17:28:51Z")
Gahh. I messed up the thread title. Ishould just say “…lead the fight against Satan.” ---
**Author:** ![wakimika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f08c70/32.png) [@wakimika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wakimika)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/3 "2003-10-17T17:34:26Z")
Thank God we aren’t like those Muslim religious fanatics. ---
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/4 "2003-10-17T17:57:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Gen Boykin told NBC that he would be curtailing his speeches to religious groups. “I don’t want to come across as a Right-wing radical,” he said. Uh. Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/5 "2003-10-17T17:58:01Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic_ > **I’ve got a strong contender for fuckhead of the month here. i’m surprised he hasn’t been pitted already.** [You’re just not looking hard enough.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=216864&perpage=50&highlight=Boykin&pagenumber=3) Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/6 "2003-10-17T17:59:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wakimika \* > \*\*Thank God we aren’t like those Muslim religious fanatics. \*\* Don’t you mean “Thank **our bigger, better and realer** God?” ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/7 "2003-10-17T18:09:45Z")
Once more Shrub and his crew are painting terrorist crosshairs on our backs with their “Christian” drivel. How long is it going to take for America to realize what a danger this mixture of theology and government represents. Haven’t we just overthrown one of the worst theocracies in some time? The irony is inescapable, evidently incredible stupidity and pompous sanctimonious bullshit politics aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/8 "2003-10-17T18:09:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > \*\*[You’re just not looking hard enough.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=216864&perpage=50&highlight=Boykin&pagenumber=3) > > Enjoy, > Steven \*\* I know. I found the GD thread immediately after I posted this one. Sorry for the repetition. At least I put it in a different forum. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/9 "2003-10-17T18:12:14Z")
I put Boykin in the same class as those odious Christian athletes who credit their success to God. I suppose the soldiers who were killed in Somalia must have been on the big guy’s bad side. (God’s, not Boykin’s) ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/10 "2003-10-17T18:21:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > \*\*I know. I found the GD thread immediately after I posted this one. Sorry for the repetition. At least I put it in a different forum. \*\* Psst. FOLLOW the link. It isn’t to where you think it is. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/11 "2003-10-17T18:37:16Z")
Wait a minute…I thought _we_ were the Great Satan. So now _they’re_ Satan, and God is on _our_ side? I’m so confused. Does anyone have an updated program showing whose side God is on now? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/12 "2003-10-17T18:40:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mtgman \* > \*\*Psst. FOLLOW the link. It isn’t to where you think it is. > > Enjoy, > Steven \*\* Oh…ok. I thought of checking that thread but I was sort of afraid to go in there. 😉 Ok, I’m late with this. It isn’t the first time. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/13 "2003-10-17T18:47:05Z")
So? I’ve been saying Bush was chosen by Supreme beings to be president for a long time. 🙂 But in all seriousnessl, this guy’s career is now over. He can forget about any more stars. My guess is that the Pentagon and Defense Department are going to publicly back him (“Fine general. Of course he has the right to his opinion”), then, after this goes off the media radar screen, he’ll be announcing his retirement. The Pentagon can’t be all that happy with him…they’re just not going to punish him in front of civilians. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/14 "2003-10-17T19:08:37Z")
**Darwin’s Finch** , I’m even more confuzzled: > [@](#): > > _But now we got weapons > Of chemical dust > If fire them we’re forced to > Then fire them we must > One push of the button > And a shot the world wide > And you never ask questions > When God’s on your side._ >       -Bob Dylan, 1963 I don’t even know which side _Bob’s_ on, anymore. > [@](#): > > He also emerged from the conflict with a photograph of the Somalian capital Mogadishu bearing a strange dark mark. He has said this showed “the principalities of darkness. . . a demonic presence in that city that God revealed to me as the enemy”. Note to self-- never let generals in the late stages of amphetamine psychosis take your holiday snaps down to the photomat for you. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/15 "2003-10-17T19:20:02Z")
“My Invisible Daddy Who Lives in the Sky can beat up your Invisible Daddy Who Lives in the Sky!” ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/16 "2003-10-17T19:34:04Z")
If God had meant for me to read about this lunatic, he would have seen to it that the subject was posted a second time since I missed it the first time. Omigod… ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/17 "2003-10-17T20:34:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hyperelastic \* > **I put Boykin in the same class as those odious Christian athletes who credit their success to God.** What’s this all about? I think we can all agree that the general is, to be kind, off his rocker. But how are atheletes who _thank_ God even in the same dimension? They don’t demonize the other team. They don’t say that every game is a fight between God and Satan. They don’t even use God to justify cheating. So color me 😕 . ---
**Author:** ![Shortie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Shortie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shortie)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/18 "2003-10-17T20:46:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Super Gnat \* > \*\*What’s this all about? I think we can all agree that the general is, to be kind, off his rocker. But how are atheletes who _thank_ God even in the same dimension? They don’t demonize the other team. They don’t say that every game is a fight between God and Satan. They don’t even use God to justify cheating. So color me 😕 . \*\* I think it’s the whole “God likes me more than you” thing. Granted, that doesn’t bug me as much as people who explain that God is to thank for people living through an accident or disaster, when others didn’t survive. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/19 "2003-10-17T20:50:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Super Gnat \* > \*\*What’s this all about? I think we can all agree that the general is, to be kind, off his rocker. But how are atheletes who _thank_ God even in the same dimension? They don’t demonize the other team. They don’t say that every game is a fight between God and Satan. They don’t even use God to justify cheating. So color me 😕 . \*\* I agree. Although I’d find it even more difficult to believe in a God who was a sports-fan, or who otherwise meddled in entertainment contests, such a belief is pretty harmless. This guy is a danger. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054/20 "2003-10-17T21:00:35Z")
There are athletes who say that God won games for them. I’ve also heard them say that God made them catch a ball or hit a three point shot at the buzzer, etc. Kurt Warner said that Jesus broke Trent Green’s knee for him so Warner could “get an opportunity” to start for the Rams. Jesus is Jeff Gillooly. Who knew? A few months ago HBO’s _Real Sports_ did a segment on fundies in the NFL. It included interviews with non-Christian players and the harassment they received from Christians. One player related how his team taunted him after a victory in which the other team had missed a field goal at the end of the game. They told him that God had made the ball miss and that he couldn’t possibly deny this “miracle” as proof of God’s existence. It also talked about players blanketing locker rooms with tracts and pmaphlets but becoming insensed when one guy brought a copy of the Tao Te Ching into the facility. Those guys are scary. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assbag-general-says-that-bush-was-chosen-by-god-to-lead-the-fight-against-satan-qu/208054.md?page=2)