# asshat who stole my bike **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885 "2012-12-03T19:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/41 "2012-12-04T05:06:14Z")
Can we all at least agree on some common terms before this thread disappears down the drain? stip·u·late/ˈstēpyəˌlāt/ Verb: Demand or specify (a requirement), typically as part of a bargain or agreement: “he stipulated certain conditions before their marriage”. pos·tu·late/ˈpäsCHəˌlāt/ Verb: Suggest or assume the existence, fact, or truth of (something) as a basis for reasoning, discussion, or belief. non sequitur [ˈnɒn ˈsɛkwɪtə] Noun: 1. a statement having little or no relevance to what preceded it. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/42 "2012-12-04T05:09:55Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Thing is, random passers by just don’t give a crap- a friend of mine lost the keys to his bike lock on a night out, and wound up sawing through the chain with a hacksaw the next morning. It took him about an hour, on one of the busiest streets in the city, looking, (assuming he was dressed in his usual hippy don’t give a crap about clothing manner), borderline homeless. > > In that hour, not one single person so much as asked what he was doing. A guy made a video about stealing bikes in the middle of crowds in NYC. He uses bolt cutters, a hacksaw (which takes him 6 minutes), and an [angle grinder](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ZbklkFuFk-4#t=168s) which he plugs into the city power supply to use. He also starts using a hammer and spike on a lock while a police van cruised by, unconcerned. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/43 "2012-12-04T05:10:55Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Could it be that the guy needed the bike more than you did? So he redistributed the wealth a little. Does his needing it more (possibly) count? Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but that’s total bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/44 "2012-12-04T05:28:02Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Why thank you, now you will be able to understand how I feel about those who say that I should happily pay higher taxes for those “less fortunate” because I “can afford it”. > > It is hilarious how quickly liberals start snarling when the redistribution of wealth affects them and not the abstract “rich”… Just witness from the OP: “I am 100% against the death penalty, but if I find out who did this … I could be convinced otherwise.”. Are you for real? Taxes=theft? Do you truly believe there’s hypocracy when a person approves of taxes but disapproves of stealing? ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/45 "2012-12-04T05:30:47Z")
Kwai Chang Cain was never this angry at the person who stole his shoes. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/46 "2012-12-04T06:01:53Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Irrelevant to the topic at hand. Which is the bicycle thief’s self-directed initiative to redistribute wealth in a fair manner. Oh my fucking God, shut the fuck up, you fucking fuckwit fuckstain. I really want to say something more coherent about this but can’t get past SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT IT SHUT IT JUST SHUT UUUUP. Do you even understand how stupid and shitty and whiny you sound? You threadshitting asshole. Did whatever Tea Party forum you crawled out of drive you away with the stench of all its steaming piles of shit, and that’s why you’re over here dropping giant loads in our threads? Go back to your hole. You suck. Bike thieves, however, are 10x worse than **Terr** and I would make an exception to my opposition to the death penalty for them. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/47 "2012-12-04T06:02:01Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > Jesus fuck, you’re an asshole. Bears repeating. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/48 "2012-12-04T06:02:14Z")
What the hey, I might regret asking this question, but my mind has been boggled to the point that I simply can’t resist. Question: How on Earth can the thief taking a bike (or in my case, my fucking Camaro) be beneficial to me? Taxes are for the benefit of society and I am, last I checked, a law-abiding member of society. The SOB who stole my Camaro, stripped it, and abandoned it in a tow-away zone didn’t benefit me a bit. I daresay the OP was not benefited at all either by his mode of transportation going missing. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/49 "2012-12-04T06:34:45Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Bears repeating. It does. ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/50 "2012-12-04T06:43:42Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Sure did. You described theft as a fair redistribution of wealth. As some people define it, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/51 "2012-12-04T06:44:52Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Are you for real? Taxes=theft? Do you truly believe there’s hypocracy when a person approves of taxes but disapproves of stealing? Whoooosh. ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/52 "2012-12-04T06:45:57Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Oh my fucking God, shut the fuck up, you fucking fuckwit fuckstain. > > I really want to say something more coherent about this but can’t get past SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT IT SHUT IT JUST SHUT UUUUP. Do you even understand how stupid and shitty and whiny you sound? You threadshitting asshole. Did whatever Tea Party forum you crawled out of drive you away with the stench of all its steaming piles of shit, and that’s why you’re over here dropping giant loads in our threads? Go back to your hole. You suck. Thank you. I love it when liberals descend into incoherent frothiness. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/53 "2012-12-04T06:48:03Z")
Wher’d Terr go, anyway? Did he have to return to “real life” like another of our favorite posters? Maybe he went for a stroll around the block, or a nice bike ride along the lake. Wait a minute… EDIT: Oh, Terr’s back. Hooray. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/54 "2012-12-04T06:49:24Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Whoooosh. Well, then what the fuck was the point of your analogy, if you don’t believe it? ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/55 "2012-12-04T06:52:17Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > Well, then what the fuck was the point of your analogy, if you don’t believe it? Consistency. If you think redistribution of wealth is a good thing, be consistent. As Thomas Wolfe said, a conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged. As is aptly demonstrated by OP’s sudden conversion on death penalty and sudden aversion to redistribution of wealth. ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/56 "2012-12-04T07:19:09Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Consistency. If you think redistribution of wealth is a good thing, be consistent. I can’t determine the OP’s opinion on the redistribution of wealth from anything he’s written, and I’d venture to guess he was venting when he made the remark about the death penalty for bike thieves. I believe you’re mistaking “liberal frothing” for plain old exasperation at a poorly constructed (and worded) argument that has little, if anything, to do with the original subject and much more to do with a need to make a political point by any means necessary. It’s both rude and embarrassing to watch. > [@Terr](#): > > As Thomas Wolfe said, a conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged. As is aptly demonstrated by OP’s sudden conversion on death penalty and sudden aversion to redistribution of wealth. You’re projecting more than a drive-in theater. Do you have any rational points you’d like to make, or should we all just get in line for our little American flags? ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/57 "2012-12-04T07:25:02Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Consistency. If you think redistribution of wealth is a good thing, be consistent. > > As Thomas Wolfe said, a conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged. As is aptly demonstrated by OP’s sudden conversion on death penalty and sudden aversion to redistribution of wealth. But it’s not inconsistent unless you actually believe that robbery and taxation are comperable, which no one has suggested, excepting you. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/58 "2012-12-04T07:29:05Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > But it’s not inconsistent unless you actually believe that robbery and taxation are comparable, which no one has suggested, excepting you. ## But.. but that was sarcastic, which is an entirely valid substitute for coherent thought in conservative circles. The OP: buy a solid U-bar lock and don’t spend more than twice that much on your next bike. Cheap 10 speeds are the way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/59 "2012-12-04T07:30:30Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > But it’s not inconsistent unless you actually believe that robbery and taxation are comperable, which no one has suggested, excepting you. Redistribution of wealth is definitely comparable. The poor guy, who is most probably much worse off than the OP, was just trying to better himself. I am just pointing out the selfishness of someone who has so much (the OP) and who is determined to deny someone who is downtrodden and obviously in need (the thief) to the point of wishing death on him. He should rejoice that he helped out his fellow man, even if involuntarily. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2012, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/60 "2012-12-04T07:33:14Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Redistribution of wealth is definitely comparable. The poor guy, who is most probably much worse off than the OP, was just trying to better himself. I am just pointing out the selfishness of someone who has so much (the OP) and who is determined to deny someone who is downtrodden and obviously in need (the thief) to the point of wishing death on him. He should rejoice that he helped out his fellow man, even if involuntarily. Were you injected with an experimental serum that made you stop developing mentally at seven years old? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885.md?page=4)